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Inspiration for Success: A Frog and a Parrot

When those around us do not support us, we can try to get rid of them. But sometimes they are the people we love, those who are close to us. If we got rid of all the people we feel do not give us love, cannot give us care, consideration, encouragement, motivation, hope, inspiration, kindness, empathy, compassion, or forgiveness, we would probably be a bit lonely. If they stay around us, we need to develop selective hearing. The best way for me to explain what I mean is through the story of the deaf frog.

Once upon a time, a group of small frogs decided to have a climbing competition. Their goal was to reach the top of a very tall tower. The frog community was very happy and excited. Many frogs gathered around the tower to watch the race and cheer the competitors on. The tower was so tall that no one in the crowed really believed the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. Throughout the competition, the crowd said things like: “The tower is too high”, “Oh, way too difficult”, “They will never make it to the top”, “There is no chance they will succeed”, and the tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one. At those who kept climbing the crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult! No one will make it!”, “Just give up!”, “What needs to happen, for you to understand that you cannot make it?” and more and more tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one continued to climb higher and higher. This one tiny frog refused to give up and kept on climbing. With a final big effort, he reached the top. When the winning frog came down, all of the other tiny frogs wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it. They asked him how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal. It turned out that the winning frog was deaf!

This post is part 2 of 2 in the series Inspiration For Success

Read Inspiration for Success: A Frog and a Parrot »

Published: December 13, 2012 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 25, 2019In: Personal Development Tags: attitude, wisdom, tips, mind, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, love, change, behavior / discipline, inspiration, motivation, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, success, affirmations, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, emotional intelligence, self-talk, choice, persistence, goals / goal setting, negative, interpretation, action, decision making, beliefs, positive, empowerment

How to Keep an Open Mind

Car covered in grass and sunflowers

As soon as you start any personal development, you bump into the term “beliefs”. These are thought patterns that are set in our mind, mental shortcuts we use to make decisions quickly. The catch is that by not questioning our beliefs, we no longer keep an open mind about everything and sometimes, keeping an open mind is just what we need.

Imagine you are learning to drive. Every little task requires mental effort and after driving around for half an hour, you get out of the car feeling exhausted. Over time and with practice, however, you get the hang of it and then you just go where you want to go.

Now, imagine you’ve been driving on the right side of the road for 10 or 15 years. And you move to a country where people drive on the left side of the road. Continuing to believe in your training and to assume that everyone drives on the right side of the road can be fatal.

Read How to Keep an Open Mind »

Published: August 8, 2012 by Gal Baras
Last modified: October 27, 2020In: Personal Development Tags: beliefs, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, rules, change, happiness, Life Coaching, relationships / marriage, communication, perception, projection, self-fulfilling prophecy, emotional intelligence, self-talk, how to, interpretation, choice, acceptance / judgment / tolerance

Isn’t it Obvious?

All of our actions and words are done and said within a particular environment, physical conditions, emotional state, human company and various other circumstances. In a different situation, the same actions and words are likely to have completely different meaning.

Just imagine for a second your little toddler getting upset at you for putting her to bed and saying, “I hate you! Bad Mommy!” Now, imagine your teenage daughter leaving the house in a storm, all dressed up, made up and accessorized, turning to you before slamming the door and yelling, “I hate you! You’re such a bad mother!” Can you imagine this being said by your soon-to-be ex-husband during a divorce? Your mother after she has tried to tell you for the millionth time how to raise your kids and you have told her to shut up and butt out?

Read Isn’t it Obvious? »

Published: April 28, 2010 by Gal Baras
Last modified: December 25, 2019In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: teens / teenagers, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, behavior / discipline, communication, practical parenting / parents, focus, projection, emotional intelligence, how to, beliefs, relationships / marriage, interpretation

Facts vs. Meaning in Marriage

In “Save Your Marriage (part 6)”, I described a common communication problem couples have (the story about the jack). Today, I will outline 10 ways you can get things wrong in any relationship. I hope you will be able to recognize yourself in some of them and find ways to work on that miscommunication. Remember, it is just miscommunication and there is no need to give up something as special as your marriage because of something that can be fixed so easily.

Many arguments start from a simple misunderstanding of the meaning of what one or the other has said. Many times, one party will give a meaning to something the other one has said that was actually not the intended meaning at all. So if you think about it, if it is you who attaches the wrong meaning to your partner’s words or actions, then when you argue, in a sense, you argue with yourself.

A study of expert communicators has found that in any given interaction, we have a tendency to see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. The study has found that in any communication, we:

1. Interpret
2. Distort
3. Delete

We change the information we receive subconsciously by the interplay of our beliefs, values and rules that we already have in our heads. Thus our emotions can alter the interpretation of any message sent our way. If we are afraid of something, we tend to think the messenger was aggressive. If we feel confused, we tend to think the messenger was unclear with his or her message. If some information is missing, the way we fill in the gaps can be very subtle but may have a very strong impact.

This post is part 10 of 34 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Facts vs. Meaning in Marriage »

Published: September 9, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 18, 2021In: Relationships / Marriage, Family Matters Tags: positive attitude tips, communication, focus, projection, divorce, relationships / marriage, interpretation

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