Choices: The Power of One Second

Remember time lost cannot be regained - written on a clock

Life is a series of seconds that lead us in different directions. Slightly different choices can lead us towards a totally different life. One second is all it takes to make a change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. This one second will never come by again. If we let it pass by, it will be lost forever.

If you want to know the power one second can have on life, think of the second the sperm connected with the egg that created you. One second earlier or one second later, could allow a different sperm to win the lottery of life and be the difference between you and another child.

If you are a parent, you know that every child of yours is a unique creation. The one and only option out of millions of possible kids.

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Cancer is Like Tight Shoes

These days, cancer seems to impact pretty much everyone. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer recently and Gal’s mom, who I loved very much, died from cancer about 8 years ago. For her, cancer was a long battle. She beat it over and over again for many years, until it beat her.

A very close aunt of mine died from cancer, and another aunt is fighting cancer for the third time now. Gal himself had cancer about 5 years ago.

And you know what? Life is not the same. Even if you are fortunate enough to recover, life is not the same anymore. It becomes divided between “before” and “after” the discovery.

For some people, cancer is a wake-up call that makes them embrace life and/or rearrange their priorities. Others drown themselves in self pity and completely let go of life.

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10 Tips for Re-Building Trust

Trust is a very important ingredient in relationships and when it is broken, it is hard to mend. In all the years I have been coaching couples, the most challenging were those whose trust has been broken.

My mom used to tell me, “It takes a long time to milk a cow but seconds to spill the milk in the bucket”. Trust is just the same. It takes a long time to build and seconds to destroy. My first suggestion for all you couple is to guard their trust at all costs because it is one of the hardest things to fix.

Trust is built on honesty and telling the truth. In every marriage, there is an agreement to be truthful. As soon as one person lies, even once, it is like forming a tiny crack in the milk buckets which slowly lets out all the milk.

This post is part 22 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

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10 Rules for Civilized Dialogue

Your ability to talk with your partner determines the level of the connection you have with each other. To save your marriage, you should be able to have a civilized dialogue.

When Gal and I were a young couple, we said we knew we would grow old together because we could talk for hours. We could talk about anything or nothing for hours and we loved every minute of it.

If you have been with the same partner for many years, you might think you know everything about them, but you probably don’t.

Why? Because people change. We change our thoughts and behaviors, and as hard as it is to believe, we even change the way we perceive our past.

Here are some rules that can strengthen and deepen your relationship and save your marriage…

This post is part 21 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

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Proud Kids and Proud Mothers on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was a few days ago and it always makes me think about my role as a parent. Over the years, I have written a lot about being a mother to my 3 wonderful children. As a life coach, specializing in families, parenting has been my calling. I believe we bring our kids into this world so we can learn love. When our first child is born, we discover just how much love we are capable of.

The greatest struggle of being a parent is the unrealistic desire to be superman and wonder woman so our kids can be proud of us. In this quest we are often too hard on ourselves. We focus too much on what we do not do well rather than what we do that is inspiring to our kids.

A while ago, I received this video from my daughter that shows how hard we are on ourselves as parents. I think it is very touching and inspiring.

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Guilt-Free Mother’s Day

It is Mother’s Day this week and all around the world, people take this opportunity to thank their moms for years of love and dedication.

I learned about the job of being a mother when I first had children. It was a mixture of joy and sadness to discover what it meant for my own mother to be my mom. I felt joy because I discovered how much she loved me and how much she was willing to do for me. At the same time, I felt sad that it took me so long to figure it out.

Imagine what kind of life your kids could have if they found out so much earlier just how much they meant to you?

My mum worked very hard to get me to understand how much she loved me. She used the only tool she had, which was guilt. In her time, this was the most commonly used parenting tool. Unfortunately, it does the exact opposite of what it is supposed to. Unfortunately, many parents still use this tool today.

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Ask Ronit: My Son is Very Clingy

Clingy kids can be very exhausting. We love them very much but we want to be able to do things without them from time to time. I have met many parents who are fighting this clinginess and they express a lot of frustration. I think the exhausting thing not necessary the clinginess itself. It is more from the fight, the feeling of failure and the expectation that it should be different.

This week, I received a question on my blog from a mother of a 9 year old boy. Mel wanted to know what I would suggest for dealing with a clingy child.

Here is what I wrote Mel. I hope you will find it encouraging. Most importantly, it is not as bad as it looks.

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Blessings for the New Year

To start off the New Year, I wanted to share some blessings with you. This year I will celebrate my 50th birthday and I think this year’s blessings should fit that age.

I received this New Year message from my cousin. It made me smile so I hope it will make you smile too.

Wishing you all lots of love, happiness, health, and wealth for the New Year.

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs, and your stocks not fall.

And may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastroenterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber, and the Internal Revenue.

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God and Parenting

Father and son flying a kite on the beach

For most kids, their parents are like Gods. I know I believed my parents were almighty and strong. The strength of this belief is similar to the strength of the belief in God’s existence. A belief is a thought, opinion or conviction about something, for which a person has confidence in the truth of its existence. Whether you believe in something or not has to do with how confident you are in the truth of it. It is the same for kids and their beliefs about parents. For example, whether a child believes in their parents’ love or not has to do with how confident there are in the truth of this love.

The hardest part for kids is that they are dependent on their parents to plant these beliefs in their minds. They will believe they are amazing only after their parents repeatedly tell them it is so.

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Know Your Partner: Parenting

If you are familiar with this blog, you know that parenting is one of our key topics and that is why it is important to discuss parenting when you get to know your partner. This is the final installment of Know Your Partner, a series of posts to help you get to know your partner, and today’s post is about parenting.

You may find that you need to ask many questions that are not cover here. Also, keep in mind that people’s opinions about parenthood are often not fully formed yet. If you have never been a parent, you don’t know what you don’t know.

In this case, parenting is like a discovery zone – you pave the path while walking it. Focus instead on attitudes you think will benefit you or may become an obstacle in your relationships. If attitudes are an obstacle, do not worry. It is possible to change them. It is just good to know what they are at the start, so you can make an educated decision about whether to go into this relationship or not.

This post is part 8 of 8 in the series Know Your Partner

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