Children are born into this world needy and helpless. They are born without the ability to speak, without the ability to express their feelings clearly, without the ability to satisfy their own essential needs or change anything in their world. They are equipped with one skill to rule their world – crying.
Irrational Rules of Living – Avoidance
Most, if not all the people in the world want to be happy. Happiness is also what parents want to give to their kids most of all – more than money, health and many other things. Yet, many people believe that in order to get the most happiness, they must avoid unpleasantness and hardship as much as they can.
Irrational Rules of Living – Anxiety
Every person feels anxiety sometimes. It is a natural reaction to what is perceived as danger – an evolution of the “fight or flight” response. While for most people, experiencing anxiety in small doses is normal and healthy, for others, feeling anxious about the future or about situations over which they have no control may cause real interference with daily living. It is the frequency of the fear and the perception of danger, when in fact there may be no real danger, which causes anxious people to avoid participating in “normal” activities.
Irrational Rules of Living – Disempowerment
In all my parenting workshops, when I ask parents about the most important thing they wish to give their children, happiness always gets the highest score. Yes, we fight with them over school, bad influence and cleaning their room, but if we had to choose only one thing we want for our kids, it would be to be happy.
Irrational Rules of Living – My Way or the Highway
Irrational Rules of Living – Right and Wrong
If you think about it, from the day you are born, everyone around you tells you what is right and what is wrong. In previous generations, parents used “the carrot and the stick” to teach kids about right and wrong. Anger and punishment were the stick and smiles and rewards were the carrots. Some parents, following the example of their own parents, even used real sticks, belts and denying of physical touch as punishment, while using physical gestures like a hug and a kiss to say, “You’ve made me proud”.
Irrational Rules of Living – Problem Solving
Irrational Rules of Living – Self Worth
Irrational Rules of Living – External Approval
Do As I Do
In one of the newsletters I get regularly, I received a link to the article titled “Social media…dirty word or essential skill?” I am sure most parents with Internet access and a teen or two would vote for “dirty word”, considering their kids’ obsessive texting, chatting and emailing.
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