I love quotes. I have them spread in every corner of my house and I also like relationship and marriage quotes.
You must be asking yourself, “Why do we need marriage quotes?”
Because marriage can be hard. Not dramatically hard… just quietly, everyday hard. It’s not what it used to be, or maybe it’s just not what we thought it would be.
And yet, when I sit with couples in my relationship coaching program, I notice something interesting. The couples who stay together are not the ones with fewer problems. They are the ones who deal with things before they grow out of control.
So why can some do it and others can’t?
Marriage quotes are beliefs about relationship and marriage
Because of their belief system!
Somewhere along the way, many people have picked up beliefs about relationship and marriage that don’t really serve them. Little sarcastic sentences, “funny” marriage quotes, messages that slowly make giving up feel normal.
And then, they wonder why things fall apart.
In life, we accumulate beliefs to live by. We get them from our parents, society, media, books and our imagination. Quotes are just a simple way to put beliefs together and make them easier to accept.
So instead of collecting ideas that weaken your relationship, I want to offer something else.
Better thoughts. Better words. Better beliefs about good marriage and good relationship.
Because the words we repeat become the beliefs we live by. And sometimes, a single sentence can shift everything.
There is something about the right words, at the right moment, that can soften us towards a better relationship, a better marriage. Like marriage quotes.
I believe in marriage
I know that in this era, marriage has failed us. The institute of marriage is crucified big time. The divorce rate is so high it is devastating.
When I was in school, we had one or two families in the entire school that were divorced. Now, in Australia, 5 kids in each classroom live with separated parents.
Marriage is tough. But divorce is tougher.
One of my clients went through a divorce over something that could have been solved in one conversation. She wanted $150K. He wanted to give only $90K.
They couldn’t agree… and ended up spending the difference on over the course 5 years lawyers (not to mention the heartache). Eventually, she didn’t even get $90K, lost 5 years of inflation and potential interest, and he also had much less to work with.
It was a lose-lose situation!
I’m not saying divorce is necessarily bad. I’m saying divorce is not easier. It’s just more expensive—emotionally, mentally, and financially and we need to try to avoid it as much as possible.
Each divorce is the death of a small civilization
Pat Conroy
Divorce is like an amputation. Sometimes it’s necessary but it should be avoided if at all possible because it brings about a permanent disability
Bill Doherty
As a society, we’ll benefit highly if couples will stay together. it is a good sign for happiness, health and longevity.
Years ago, I wrote an article about the financial burden of divorce why we need as society to promote long marriage if we want to save plenty of money and resources.
Still, I believe we were meant to live in pairs.
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up
Joseph Barth
There is something very special about companionship in marriage. A good partner is what makes you feel like home.
There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side
of that door is waiting for the sound of his footstepsRonald Reagan
Challenges are part of every relationship
As I said, relationships are hard and I see many couples who simply don’t consider them as part of life. Every relationship has moments when things feel tense… when distance starts creeping in… when it’s easier to protect ourselves than to stay open.
In those moments, we need our healthy beliefs, healthy marriage quotes to remind us:
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person
Mignon McLaughlin
A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers
Ruth Bell Graham
Because if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:
Strong marriages are not built on perfect moments. They are built on repair
Ronit Baras
We don’t stay close because nothing goes wrong. We stay close because we keep coming back.
Sometimes, couples think that arguing means something is broken. But that’s not what I see.
Just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do
Omer Washington
Disagreements are normal. We are simply two different beings, who went thorough different childhoods and had different life circumstances. Disagreements are not the problem. The way we handle them is.
The goal is not to avoid conflict. The goal is to stay connected through it
Ronit Baras
The right person
Marriage, at its core, is not about finding the right person.
It’s about learning how to walk together, even when you don’t see things the same way.
Why? Because you won’t see things the same way and don’t even aim to get there!
Working with many relationship clients, I have seen that when one or two of them expect themselves to believe, see, think, the same way and most of their relationship suffering is due to these unmet expectations.
You never become one. You will always stay two separate entities, and this is how it should be.
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
It has nothing to do with the “right person” because when we got married, we obviously thought we were right for each other but as life goes on, we change and our definition of the right person also changes.
I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s possible that you did marry the wrong person.
However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person.
I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you
Zig Ziglar
The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married
John Fischer
Marriage, families, all relationships are more a process of learning the dance rather than finding the right dancer
Paul Pearsall
What’s love got to do with it?
When I was much younger, I thought that relationship and marriage are all about love. I had quotes on my closet door “love conquers all” and I so wanted to believe in it.
I think it still is, but my definition of love has changed.
As a young person, I thought love is about romance, sexuality and passion. I was wrong. Love is so much more than that.
I do think we need to redefine love if we want to stay in the relationship and make the best of it.
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage
Lao Tzu
There are some things I learned the hard way, because no one ever told me about it and my definition was limited to what I was exposed to in books or media.
What I’ve Learned
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don’t know how to show it.I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you all they can.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.I’ve learned that just because two people argue,
it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue,
it doesn’t mean they do.Omer Washington
Getting married
I hear many people consider the marriage, the actual ceremony as a “must” in order to keep the relationship going.
I heard about it the moment Gal and I decided to move in together. Many people around thought that when you move in together (without the marriage ceremony), you are leaving yourself the option to leave.
They say it is easier to “leave” the relationship if you are not married and I say that staying because it is hard to leave, is not a good reason to stay.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years
Simone Signoret
It is better in my opinion to have a motivation to stay together rather than to staying because it is harder to leave. It is not the certificate that counts. It is the friendship.
Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends
Harville Hendrix
The relationship has nothing to do with the wedding ceremony itself. It has everything to do with commitment.
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside
Frank Pittman
More important than the ceremony itself, I think we need to express our commitment to each other.
For wherever you go, I will go,
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge,
Your people will be my people,
And, your God, my GodRuth 1:16
If you ask me, every person in a relationship must hear those words one way of another. When we lived in Texas, I told Gal that I will go with him anywhere, even if he went to Alaska (the coldest place I could think of, which is for those who know me, is the worst place in the world to be).
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you
Winnie the Pooh
Society is built on relationships
For children, living in a family setting gives consistency – emotionally, financially, and practically. In a shared responsibility model children are exposed to gender difference and models of cooperation.
Marriage is our society’s most pro-child institution. If you want kids to do well, then you want marriage to do well
David Blankenhorn
For the couples, sharing resources, expenses, and responsibilities often create more financial stability than navigating life solo. That immediately reduce the pressure on social systems because stable households can mean less reliance on welfare, crisis services, and external support structures.
Living as couples we care for each other during illness, aging and hardship, and rely less on others.
Also, as we build families, we build communities in schools, neighborhoods, social networks.
I am convinced that if we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect the family, it would be analogous to straightening deck chairs on the Titanic
Stephen Covey
When we live in stable marriage, we create continuity across generations—traditions, values, support systems.
And again, the most important part is the vast evidence that people in stable marriages tend to have better mental and physical health
They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village
Diane Sollee
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother
Theodore Hesburgh
The conversation of love and marriage
Every relationship is based on communication.
I can tell you from working with thousands of couples over the years, the problem is not communication but connection.
Most people come to coaching saying “we don’t communicate” and that is not true, we always communicate, even when we are silent, we communicate. I think most people get this term wrong.
It is important to remember that communication is not an exchange of words but an exchange of energy.
When our interaction promotes a good feeling associated with each other, we gain energy and when our interactions bring us to a feeling not comfortable with each other or ourselves, we are drained in energy.
I call it the hot and cold relationship.
It is not communication, it is connection that is missing
Ronit Baras
I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved; the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave
George Eliot
The goal is to have a conversation in a way so that you can have another conversation tomorrow
Unknown
When marrying, ask yourself this question:
Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory
Friedrich Nietzsche
It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel – they get to know each other better
Goethe
Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved
Peter Ustinov
Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation
Oscar Wilde
The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive
Olando Battista
Remember, there is always communication. It can be kind or can be harsh, your choice!
When two never become one
In my relationship coaching, the first thing I do is bust the myth of “when two become one”.
Why? Because I believe much in the marriage relationship fails on this philosophy alone.
When we live with someone for a long time, our lives become tangled. This entanglement is beautiful and breeds many wonderful things, but there is a point when it crosses a specific line and starts to strangle the relationship.
I can tell you from someone who has been living with the same person for many years now, that after a while, we no longer remember the part in us that is unique to us and that creates many challenges, especially when the kids leave home.
I recommend to all my clients to have parts of life that are separate. It is ok to have different hobbies, different friends, go out from time to time on their own, see their own families on their own…
In some traditions, they incorporate this “space” from each other as a good way to strengthen the bond.
A couple I work with came up with wonderful healthy living routine that makes wonders in their relationship. Twice a year, he goes overseas to spend time with his family and childhood friends while she stays with the kids (older kids), and twice a year, she goes overseas to spend time with her family and friends, while he stays with the kids.
They end up living apart every year for 3-4 months but the time they are together is exciting and enjoyable.
Let there be spaces in your togetherness
Khalil Gibran
When divorce is an option
Yes, I know, divorce is always an option and yes, sometimes it is necessary. You’ll be surprised to know that the majority of my clients who come from divorced families say it was the best thing that happened to them and they wished it had happened long before.
So, no, I don’t think divorce should never be considered, because sometimes staying in the marriage will do more damage than cutting the losses. It is just important to do it with a clear mind after exhausting all other options.
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time
Thomas Edison
To get divorced because love has died, is like selling your car because it’s run out of gas
Diane Sollee
Love doesn’t commit suicide. We have to kill it. Though, it’s true that it often simply dies of our neglect
Diane Sollee
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side
Zig Ziglar
As I said before, we pick partners that will allow the most growth and all the wonderful things we love about each other, will be the things that will drive us nuts over the years.
When we are young and at the beginning of our relationship, we get lots of energy from the relationship so faults and problems meet much flexibility and tolerance but over the years, when we lose energy, we lose the ability to get over those challenges.
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, the grounds for marriage
Robert Anderson
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a lot of overlap
Mignon McLaughlin
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstanceI Corinthians 13:7
Over the years, I learned that kindness matters. It starts with kindness to ourselves, and to others. It is in the act of giving that we received.
A good marriage is a contest of generosity
Diane Sawyer
This quote is a true quote for relationships in general. Even the relationship with yourself.
Choose your love, then love your choice
Unknown
Quotes to live by
Quotes are beliefs we can adopt to live by.
When I studied special education, I learned that if I want the kids to adopt some thoughts and beliefs or even knowledge, I can put it on display in the class and count on their brain absorbing it every time they pass next to it.
It worked!
It was so successful that I adopted it at home.
For years, no matter where we lived, I had quotes spread around the house.
The guest toilet has so many poems and quotes that every person going in says it is a shrine for good, empowering, happy, motivational inspiration.
Relationship and marriage quotes are just some of them.
I actively search for marriage quotes.
As I said, unfortunately, there are too many sarcastic marriage quotes and jokes about marriage that I don’t like at all. Some think they are funny, I don’t!
Don’t collect them! Reject them! So they won’t get into your mind shrine.
I hope the marriage quotes I gathered in this post will help you believe in marriage as well.
Pick the ones you like and post them where you can read them every day. If you read them over and over again, they will eventually become part of your happy marriage.
Love and friendship,
Ronit
Save Your Marriage Post Series
- Self-Regulation in Your Marriage
- How to Save Yourself from Divorce
- Marriage and Divorce Statistics
- The Marriage Institution
- Marriage is the Foundation of Families
- The Unpleasant Side of Divorce
- How to Get Things Wrong in a Marriage
- Marriage and Self Talk
- More About Self Talk
- Facts vs. Meaning in Marriage
- All Men Are… All Women Are…
- When Two Do Not Become One
- Marriage and Money
- Be Your Partner’s Best Friend
- Relationship Between Two Onions
- The Greatest Gift: Stay Together
- Marriage of Singles
- The "Right" Trap
- The Intention Trap
- 42 Best Marriage Quotes that Will Change Your Life
- 10 Rules for Civilized Dialogue
- 10 Tips for Re-Building Trust
- The King and His Servants
- The Nitpicker
- Expressing Feelings in a Marriage
- Don’t Be On Guard
- Don’t Clam Up
- Have Good Sex to Save Your Marriage
- Trust (or The Boy Who Cried Wolf)
- Emergency Relationship Coaching Essentials
- Save Your Marriage with Better Time Management
- Choice Theory Can Save Your Marriage
- How to Have a Hot Relationship
- A Respectful Relationship Will Save Your Marriage
- How Sarcasm in Relationships Ruins Trust and Communication
- The Magic Ratio of Give and Take in Relationships
