Judgment is a very tense concept. We hear many objections to it, like “Do not judge a book by its cover” or “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes”. Still, although judgment is considered negative, we have lots of judgment towards everything that happens around us. The reason we do is that we need judgment to navigate through life.
If you consider judgment as the process of determining right and wrong, then judgment is essential to our survival. This is especially true for social survival.
We must have some kind of judgment towards everything we do in life, because it helps us choose what to do and what to avoid doing. Judgment and decision-making are Siamese twins. They have the same DNA and are inseparable. Making decisions requires us to use judgment to determine which of our choices we consider the best. So, judgment is not bad if we use it to make better choices.
Through Silence, through meditation and through non-judgment, you will access the first law. The law of pure potentiality.
Judgment and Non-Judgment
In our society, most people see judgment as telling others what we think about their choices, but this is being judgmental, not having good judgment.
The difference between having good judgment and being judgmental is the direction. If the judgment is pointed inward, it is healthy and good. It is required for growth. If the judgment is pointed outward, it is unhealthy and problematic. It limits our growth and destroys our relationships.
When we judge others, it says more about us than it does about them. The Dalai Lama said that love is the absence of judgment. I think he meant the absence of being judgmental.
While judgment is an internal thought process, being judgmental is an action. When people share with us thoughts about their own actions and their own decisions, we never say they are judgmental. We say they are reflective.
Those who spend their time looking for faults in others, usually make no time to correct their own
In today’s activity, we are referring to internal judgment and our own decision-making mechanism. We want to make a list of what helps us navigate the world and tell right from wrong.
It is OK to bring this judgment from watching others and from our own experience. It is important to state it as something we rather do or rules we adopted as right and wrong.
You don’t need to explain why you have each judgment. Science supports the idea that most of our decision-making is subconscious, which means we are not aware of most of it.
In his book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcom Gladwell, writes that we make snap judgments in the subconscious mind, then we fool ourselves into believing we had full control over them, but we don’t!
Just stick to what you think is right or wrong in your opinion. You don’t have to express it to others, so it won’t make you judgmental, but it will help you be more aware of your thoughts.
We have millions of judgments in our mind and we have to have them, so we don’t spend hours contemplating every choice we make. I think that coming up with 100 judgments we have about what is right or wrong in our opinion should be easy, but here are some tips, just in case.
How to come up with 100 judgments about life
- This is your opportunity to have your opinion about your own life. This is when your opinions are important. As long as you understand they need to be applicable to you, you’ll be fine. Think about the difference between having an opinion and being opinionated. Opinions are good to have, but being opinionated is when you need your opinions to be heard (and affirmed) by others. When you are opinionated, it is usually because you lack confidence in your own opinions. When my opinions are for me, they are used as signs to navigate my life. When my opinions are for others, they are meant to control others’ navigation, and this usually ends up in conflict.
- Think of this list as your personal bible of what is right and what is wrong. You don’t have to convert anyone else to your “religion”. If it works for you, that’s good enough.
- Go over things that are very important to you. Our values are the things we hold dear to our heart and they have a big and important part in our “bible”.
- “Moving away from” values are the things in our life that are important for us not to be, do, have or feel. Focus on them too. They belong in the “wrong” (“thou shalt not”) part of the bible. We need to have them too.
- Think of the things you appreciate about yourself. You’ll find plenty of right things to list there.
- At the same time, think of things you are not happy with, don’t appreciate or don’t like about yourself, and write them down, too.
- Do the same for other people in your life. Make a list of 100 people in your life (I’m sure you have more than 100 people in your life) and do the same activity about them. List things you appreciate, love, admire about them and the things you don’t.
- What is your opinion about what is right and wrong in relationships? For example, I think it is wrong to criticize others, but hugs are great.
- What is your opinion about what is right and wrong in financial management? For example, I think it is right to save/invest 10% of your income and I’m not a fan of gambling.
- What is your opinion about what is right and wrong in learning? For example, I think it is not good for me to listen to music while I write a report, but I know others who feel that music helps them study.
- What is your opinion about what is right and wrong in raising children? For example, I think it is good to speak a lot with your baby. It helps them develop their language. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s good to hit them.
- What is your opinion about what is right and wrong in cleaning the house? For example, I think it is wrong to teach children that Mom is in charge of cleaning the inside and Dad cleans the outside, because this gives them a distorted attitude towards gender. However, I think it’s good to teach kids that everyone should help clean the home.
- What is your opinion about what is right and wrong in career? For example, I think that long term, choosing a career with your heart is the best. If you hate going to work, it won’t last, even if you make a lot of money.
- What is your opinion about right and wrong in social interactions? For example, I think it is wrong to push your ideas and right to show interest in others.
- What is your opinion about manners?
- What is your opinion about fairness?
- What is your opinion about justice?
- What is your opinion about travel?
- What is your opinion about school uniform?
- What is your opinion about food and drinks? For example, I think it’s good for me to drink 12 cups of water a day.
- What is your opinion about human rights?
- What is your opinion about animal rights?
- What is your opinion about gender equality?
- What is your opinion about politics?
- What is your opinion about Health?
- What is your opinion about sleep?
- What is your opinion about spirituality? Remember to write what you think is right and what you think is wrong. It’s OK to list several things about this specific topic.
- What is your opinion about communication?
- What is your opinion about fun?
- What is your opinion about stress?
- What is your opinion about gambling?
- What is your opinion about movies?
- What is your opinion about watching TV? For example, I think it is wrong to allow children to watch horror films, even if all other their friends have watched them.
- What is your opinion about violence in computer games?
- What is your opinion about refugees?
- What is your opinion about art?
- What is your opinion about creativity? Remember that you are not stating only what you like or dislike, but what you think is right or wrong to navigate yourself. For example, I like the concept of creativity, but not all creative things are good, in my opinion. Some sick people commit very creative crimes, and I still think that’s wrong.
- What is your opinion about honesty? Where do you draw the line between omission, white lies and dishonesty?
- What is your opinion about homeless people and homelessness?
- What is your opinion about personal development?
- What is your opinion about various things that happened in the history of the world? Think of wars, inventions, social movements, etc.
I could list 100 topics to ask your opinion about, but I’m sure if you try to answer the ones above, you will already get to 100.
Remember, you are making these 100 lists (see more of them in the box below) to have a better sense of what you think, refine your judgment about what is right and what is wrong, and navigate your life more easily. This is part of your own self-development, so what others think about your answers is not important. Asking them would only invite judgmental people to state their opinions about you.
At the end of this list, you will know yourself better.
Happy 100 list making,
This post is part of the series Make a List:
- Make a list: List Making
- Make a list: About Myself
- Make a list: Friends and Friendships
- Make a list: My Lifetime
- Make a list: Things I am Happy about
- Make a list: Childhood Memories
- Make a list: 100 Ways to Say “I love you!”
- How to Clean Away Resentment and Be Happy
- Make a list: What I like about me
- Make a list: Birthday Presents to Ask for
- Make a list: Improve My Life
- Make a list: Things to tell my parents
- Make a list: Beliefs about Money
- Make a list: Feelings I Want to Feel
- Make a list: If I Could Live Forever
- Make a list: Beliefs about Kids
- Make a list: Beliefs about Kids cont.
- Make a list: Events that Have Shaped Your Life
- Make a list: Ways to be kind
- Make a list: Be More Productive
- Make a list: Mistakes (and what I can learn from them)
- Make a list: Expectations
- Make a list: Beliefs about Traveling
- Make a list: Rules I Follow
- Make a list: Good Parenting Qualities
- Make a list: Excuses
- Make a list: Quotes to live by
- Make a list: How to use my time better
- Make a list: If I were Santa Claus
- Make a list: If I had one year to live
- Make a list: Things that Make Me Happy
- Make a list: Movies I loved
- Make a List: My Fears
- Make a List: Find your Happy-ism
- Make a List: Inspiring People
- Make a List: Books that have changed my life
- Make a list: Inspiring Movies
- How to Make a List of Things to Be Grateful for
- Make a List: Ronit’s Gratitude Examples List
- Make a list: Life Lessons Learned
- Make a List: Self-Kindness
- Make a List: 100 Ways to Be Kind to Myself
- Make a List: 100 Things I Want People to Think of Me
- Make a List: Judgment of Right from Wrong
- Make a List: 100 Reasons to Be Wealthy
- 100 Great Insights I Got from the Coronavirus
- How to Make Every Relationship You Want Good
- If I Only Knew: How to Learn from the Past