Last month, I wrote about the top 7 things parents struggle with: emotions, social pressure, information overload, money, relationship and physical body. I think that if parents knew how to manage these things in their life, it would be easier and more enjoyable for them to parent their children to be happy, healthy and successful. Here are 7 tips to improve your skills in each area and eliminate the respective parenting struggles.
Tips that will end your parenting struggles
How to manage your emotions
Whenever you have a strong feeling and feel you are about to burst, stop! Examine the feeling, ask yourself “what is that thing I am feeling now?” giving it a name will slow you down and move you from your primitive brain – the fight or flight mode to the “thinking” mode. It will make sure you are more composed in your relationship with your children.
How to manage social pressure
Examine all your status purchases and behavior. Ask yourself “what is that thing I am doing just so other people will love me, accept me, and allow me into their social group?” and check if you have to compromise yourself in order to fit in. Sometimes you have to and it is important to recognize the things that you can’t change for example: When you are at work, you don’t tell your boss what are the bad things you think of him/her because you need to keep your job.
It is good for kids to learn that you don’t have to say anything that is in your head. It is good to recognize when you are a leader and when you are a follower. Leaders start trends, followers just do whatever others are doing. In every aspect, when you are a follower, it is easy to manipulate you. When you hold your own opinion, regardless of what the majority does, you are a leader.
How to manage information overload
In the world full of technology and advertisement, it is not easy to block out overload of information. When wanting to make a decision, make a rule of collecting 3 things and making up your mind.
If you keep collecting, it will only create doubt about the right thing to do. Research shows that when we have too many choices, we end up procrastinating more and making the decision based on nothing that we have collected at all.
Think of it as getting a quote. If you have to choose between 3 quotes, it is easy to compare, but if you do it with 30 quotes, it is much harder, maybe even impossible.
Limit the information that comes to you. Unsubscribe from lists, put the phone on “silent” from time to time and do not collect information for the sake of collecting it. Get it when you need it. If it is not used, you will forget it anyway.
How to manage your money
Work! Working is always better than being unemployed or living on any government pension. Always spend up to 90% of our income.
Keep 10% savings every month in a saving jar. Take the 10% from your account straight away, so you won’t see it. Never spend more than 90% of what your total income and you’ll be fine. We could all manage with basic food, basic housing, basic clothes and even public education.
Fun, enjoyment and being a good parent have nothing to do with how much money you have. Ask all those successful people whose parents were poor.
Your children need your presence more than your presents
How to manage your relationships
Learn basic social skills and it will help you throughout your life and the heart of it is be kind! I it is true in every relationship. It is easy to be kind when things are great and much harder when things are tough.
Parents who struggle for any reason go into survival mode. Everything seems like a lion or a snake, so either we attack or run away. And when I say everything, this includes everyone as well – even those we love the most: our kids, our partner and other family members.
The basic social skills are:
- Share what you have
- Give compliments
- Be respectful
- Be a graceful winner and loser
- Offer help
- Be a team player
- Be positive and non judgmental
- Be fun to be with
How to manage your physical body
Think of your body as a temple. Worship it! Clean it, inside and out.
Do not let bandits enter your temple with bad influences, bad thoughts and tempting you to ruin the temple with junk, physical and emotional. Keep the temple cool! So that it will be shiny and give you what you need.
If you need to close it for “cleaning” make sure you do it for 8 hours every day. Take the time off for rejuvenating, sleep or any other rest. Say good things about your temple.
I promise you that small kids treat their temples in exactly the same way their parents treat theirs.
I hope this will help you eliminate your parenting struggles.
Remember, happy parents raise happy kids,