Top Parenting Bloggers Discuss (13): Parenting Teens

Ria Sharon – My Mommy Manual

I don’t have teens! But I know I will be turning to the many resources I have when I start to address “teen” issues.

Richard “RJ” Jaramillo – Single Dad

It has its own special moments…

It’s a different skill set. More Listening, less talking and a lot of support and letting them know you are always there for them.

Sue Scheff – Sue Scheff Blog

I think parenting today has become more challenging than generations before. Even today, compared to when I raised my kids, the electronics has changed the world of parenting. Bullying has escalated to cyberbullying. Texting has grown to sexting.

Teens are less respectful to adults and parents more today than I have ever noticed. Kids today have a sense of entitlement, and I believe parents need to try to get control back.

It doesn’t help that in today’s generation we have many more single parent homes and the stress of finances has forced many households to have both parents working full time. All of this goes toward making parenting teens extremely challenging, as they need guidance more today than years earlier.

Susan Heim – Susan Heim on Parenting

Don’t take their behavior too personally. When they roll their eyes at you and don’t want to be around you, that’s a good sign that they’re developmentally normal!

Set limits but don’t be overly strict. Trust them, unless they give you a reason not to. Check in with them even when it seems they don’t want you around.

Don’t lecture; discuss. Pick your timing for discussions, such as in the car.

Show an interest in what they like. Don’t lecture. Listen as much as you talk.

When you say no, explain why.

Annie Fox, M.Ed. – From the desk of Annie Fox

My whole website it about that! Simply put (though it’s not simple at all!), teens are in transition and parents need to respect the changes they’re going through. Talk less and listen more. Here are ten tips for improving parent teen relationships.

Remember you are the parent – Your job is to protect your child and prepare him/her to become a fully functioning adult. Being a leader and a compassionate teacher is more important than being your teen’s friend.

Remain calm – Nothing gets resolved when stress makes it impossible to think clearly. Can’t respond rationally? Then take a break until you can.

Talk less and listen more – Just like the rest of us, teens want to be respected and heard. Be a “safe” and available person to talk to.

It’s a balancing act – A key challenge in parenting teens is to remain emotionally connected while granting your kids more privacy and autonomy.

They’re always watching – Want your teen to be trustworthy, responsible, and compassionate? Make sure you’re modeling those values in your own life.

Make your expectations clear and be consistent with your follow-through – If kids know the consequences ahead of time and they’ve bought into the rules of the house, they’re more likely to make healthy choices.

Catch your teen in the act of doing something right – Praise shows that you noticed their efforts. It also promotes a feeling of competency.

Be real – Father/mother does NOT always know best. Admit your own confusion and mistakes. Apologize when appropriate. Show your kids that just like them, you too are also “a work in progress.”

Regularly create time to enjoy being a family – Having regular meals together and relaxing, unplugged from digital technology, is a gift with long-lasting benefits.

Lighten up! – Humor is a great de-stressor. Remember, no one stays a teen (or the parent of a teen) forever!

(From: http://www.anniefox.com/parents/parent_teen_relationships.html)

Maria Melo – Conversations with Moms

Since my children are 5 and 1, right now, the only word in my mind is “scary”. I just hope I’m ready for it.

Annie – PhD in Parenting

I’ll take another five or so years to think about that! Other than the fact that I think it is important to be very open with them about sex and sexuality, I don’t have any preconceived notions of parenting a teen.

Ronit Baras – Family Matters

I think parenting teens is the same as parenting a 2-year-old, a 6-year-old or a 10-year-old – all of them are new and keep changing, and when you do it the first time, there is some trial and error.

There is nothing magical about the teen years and there is no clock in the brain that says, “I’m teen today, so let me start acting nasty”. I don’t believe in the hormonal excuse grownups have made up to justify their fear of their kids becoming more and more independent. I think teens have a bad image and parents fulfill their own prophecy through their behavior. Teens are wonderful and interesting and understanding and creative and if you treat them so, they will behave so.

I have wonderful teens (two of them) and I think they are wonderful because I think they are wonderful… It is an awesome cycle and I suggest every parent of teens get trapped in it right away.

I have worked with many teens and I have thought they were inspiring, thoughtful, responsible – every parent’s dream. It is the grownups’ mindset that needs to be changed, not the teens’. Just relax, smile and pay attention.