What If

All too often, we ourselves having a bright idea, only to shoot it down a few seconds later with, “Yes, but what if <something happened>?” Since the idea was still fresh in our mind, even the smallest hesitation can sometimes bury it, never to be seen again.

Worries, stress and self doubt block all your creativity and pretty much guarantee that even if there was a way to turn your idea into reality, you will not be able to see it if it bumped you on the nose.

Here are some examples of how this works:

You want to have a party and you get all excited, but then you try to find a suitable date when everyone can come. When this gets too hard, you give up on the party idea and feel bored and unsocial
You want to apply for a job you really like, but you are not sure the company will hire you out of “hundreds of applicants”, so you just keep waiting for a more perfect match to come along and your self esteem keeps going down with every self rejection
You want to start a business, but you have no money (seems like a brick wall, right?), so you keep commuting for hours, working late for someone else and feeling miserable and unfulfilled
You want to live somewhere else in the world, but you can only speak one language, so you stay where you are and feel stuck and inadequate

And that is a pity. It really is.

Because parties are great and so are new starts, difficulties and all, and if you could get beyond those obstacles, then you could give them a go and your life would change.

Hang on, this might be the solution!

You see, any project you choose to do is like hiking on a mountain range. First, you see the mountain in front of you and it is big and scary. You do not know how long it will take you to climb the mountain and you cannot see the beautiful view at the top or on the other side. But what if you could?

If you could climb the same mountain while looking at the breath-taking view at the top, knowing where each exciting plant and animal can be seen along the way and feeling the great feeling of accomplishment you would have at the end of your climb, walking would be easy, right?

So when you plan your party and cannot find a perfect date, say to yourself, “What if I could find a date?” What you would probably do then is choose a theme, write invitations, prepare food and decorations and get all excited about everybody coming and having fun with you.

The beautiful thing is that once you are done imagining all this excitement, your whole being is committed to having a party. It is no longer something you can easily discard, because it has already made you feel great. Now you have something to lose if you cancel and something great if you continue.

Your faithful subconscious then goes into action and finds a solution. You may choose to give up certain people’s company, you may invite your friends with so much enthusiasm they will be more inclined to accept or magic will happen and a date will mysteriously be cleared by normal change and your party will become reality.

Similarly, you ask yourself, “What if I could get hired? In fact, what if I were the perfect person for the job?” You can imagine your resume being picked up from the stack, the manager’s face lighting up as he reads, a great interview full of smiles and nods and then an offer letter in your hand with the feeling of achievement and success.

Seeing as you are so committed to getting this job, your subconscious will take over and you will suddenly remember some great experiences you have had, which make you indispensible to your target company. Not only that, but you happen to know someone who knows someone over there. Imagine the luck…

Or you say to yourself, “What if getting money was the easy part? What would my life be like then?” You sit down and imagine yourself succeeding in business, dressing up, shaking hands and smiling. You feel the excitement and power in making your dreams come true.

Then, you get up and start telling everybody you know about your commitment to starting this great business. Pretty soon, someone with money, connections or business expertise lets you know they have been looking for someone like you for a long time. Being prepared to smile and shake hands, you strike a good deal and you feel great.

Or you say to yourself, “What if language was not a problem at all? Where would I go and what would it be like then?” You go on the Internet and look at different countries, spend some time browsing travel magazines and then imagine yourself inside the pictures, in those landscapes, having that food with those people.

Then it dawns on you there are other countries speaking a similar language to yours, or even the same. You suddenly realize that in your profession, you may be able to get by with a few local words at first and then gradually learn more as you go. As if by magic, you start to notice words from other languages you already know, and then someone happens to mention this great place and this rare opportunity and says, “Hey, this could be good for you, you know”.

Being emotionally committed to your idea and feeling like you have already made it real gives you all the reasons to keep going. The “law of attraction”, the “universe”, the “genie” or your subconscious mind will do the rest.

Of course, you now have a super tool to use with your kids too.

When your kids come to you with an exciting idea, but then do not follow through, it may be “imagining time”. Suggest to them to sit or lie down, close their eyes and tell you all the wonderful things that could be if only everything was just the way they wanted it to be. You will be amazed at how creative they will become as a result of the emotional boost.

This method can work even when kids are worried about something in their future. Anxiety comes from focusing on potential obstacles, difficulties and pain, so turning their attention to brighter possibilities and possible great feelings will put them in an invincible mood, which will make them pretty close to invincible.

Happy parenting,
Gal