- Write down 10 recurring situations or outcomes in your life that you are not happy with
- Decide which category they are in
- Ask yourself what is you think, feel, say or do that brings you into each situation or gets you each outcome
- Check if the items on your list have anything in common
- Take yourself into one of those events in your mind and experience it again. Look around and try to discover the exact circumstances in that situation. Are you tired? Worried? Has something else happened that day? The day before? Are you hungry? Write as many details as you can. If you do it for the 10 items, you will find a pattern
- Take yourself to the one of those events again. This time, pay attention to the way you feel. What scares you about what happened? Stay in that situation until you find out what you are afraid of. When this fear first formed, it made you develop the habit to overcome it or manage it. We all develop habits to help us cope better. Sometimes the habits are not updated. They were appropriate 30, 20, 10 years ago, but may not be appropriate under different circumstance. We are just not the same people
- Find one similar situation in which your reaction was different. What was different in that situation? Use what you wrote in step 4 to find the thing that changed the habit
- Search in your mind for people around you that have habits you can adopt
- Practice habit-changing strategies. We are creatures of habit, so if we practice doing something differently every day, we will develop flexibility. Below you will find many ideas for doing things differently. Remember, they need to be different from what you usually do. To be successful at doing them, you need to know who you are and what your natural tendencies are. If there is any suggestion you already do, try doing the opposite
Breaking Habit ideas
- If you get up every morning at a certain time, wake up at a different time
- If you always drink coffee/tea/coke/water, drink something different for a day
- If you take lunch with you every day, buy lunch one day instead
- Learn a new language (it may be enough to count up to 10 in another language)
- If you usually read your kids a book before bedtime, get someone else to do it
- If you usually send emails to someone, give them a call or send them a letter by mail for a change
- Take your meal and a blanket and have it outside on the grass
- If you are a follower, try taking initiative
- If you are the boss, let someone else run things for a week
- If you are critical, spend a week giving compliments
- If you are used to touch typing, write something by hand with a pen or pencil
- If you eat for 10 minutes, sit and eat longer for a change
- If you are used to saying what you have in mind, try keeping your thoughts to yourself for a change. If you are reserved and usually do not say what is on your mind, say something!
- If you are always “right”, try saying “you are right” every chance you get for a week
- If you usually wash the car on Saturday, do it on Sunday or on a weekday
- If you usually put the dishes in the dishwasher, wash them by hand from time to time. If you set the table and someone else makes salad, try swapping
- When travelling somewhere familiar, take a different route
- If you watch TV every day, give it up for a day. If you do not like TV at all, watch a couple of shows for a change
- Dedicate a day a week to tasting a new kind of food. Try something you have not tried before
- Eat your dinner with your hands (no cutlery) for one night
- Change the hairstyle for a day
- If you always finish your tasks, try leaving something unfinished. If you usually do not finish your tasks, make an effort to finish things and see what happens
- If your timetable is fluid, make a fixed timetable and stick to it for a week. If you are particular about time, flow for a week
- If you do any sport, try a different sport, change the hour you do it or skip it and read a book instead
- Make an effort to wake up early and watch the sunrise
- Do something you have been putting off for a while
- Go shopping at a different mall
- Skip rope to remember what it was like being a kid
- Read a children’s book
- If you pay your bills at the last minute, do it straight away when you receive them. If it is the other way, leave them until the last minute and see what happens
- Go to bed at a different time for a week
- If you sit at a specific place around the table for dinner, sit somewhere else
- If you have a hobby, try another one
- Practice saying something nice to someone you do not know – someone on the phone, someone you meet at the supermarket…
- If you like being with others, try spending a week on your own
- Sing in the shower
- Take photos of yourself in funny poses (with a mustache, wearing makeup, making faces, etc)
- When you clean the house, clean in a place you usually skip or miss
- Read something you would usually not read – book, newspaper, magazine, blog, etc
- Go dancing in a new and unfamiliar style
- Instead of waiting for someone to call you, call them first for a change
- If you are in charge of cleaning outside the house, swap and do something inside the house
- Try a new coffee shop
- If you are usually kind to others, do kind things for yourself for a whole week. If it is the opposite, do acts of kindness for a week towards others
- If you are a calm and relaxed person, do something with more energy and drive
- If you are very intuitive, try making logical decisions for a week. If you are logical in your nature, follow your gut feeling for a week
- If you usually go for lunch at 12:30, try going at 11:00 or at 2:00
- If you usually do not protest social injustice, write a letter to the local paper editor and express your opinions on the matter
- Sing a song out of tune
- If you normally shower at night, go to sleep without taking a shower or shower in the morning instead
- Change the position of the furniture. For example, put the dining table at an angle or rotate the living room
- Take a shower in the dark
- If you are very systematic, try being spontaneous and surprising
- Stay awake the whole night with friends
- Make an origami box just for the fun of it
- If you play a musical instrument, try a different one. If you do not play, try playing something
- If you are very independent, ask for help for a change. If you usually ask for help, try doing everything on your own for a change
- If you usually hang the clothes in the line, use the dryer for a change
- Search on Facebook for someone you know from when you were 5
- Buy someone a gift for no reason
- If you usually do not have plants, buy one and take care of it
- If you are a serious person, do something silly. If you like doing silly things, practice being serious for a week
- If you are not bit on smiles, try smiling 60 times in one day
- If you are the decision maker, let someone else do the make decisions for you
- If you usually watch the news, skip them. If you never watch the news, try doing it for a week
- Buy yourself something you have wanted for a long time
- If you usually say “yes” when asked, experiment with saying “no” occasionally
- If you are in a social gathering and you do not like it when no one says anything, so you usually say something to break the ice, try remaining quiet until someone else says something
- Write a poem
- Sit outside and watch the stars
- If you believe in traditional medicine, find an alternative medicine option and try it. If you are very alternative in your mindset, see a conventional doctor
- If you are not good at telling jokes, learn a joke and tell it a few times
- If you eat at the dining area usually, try eating in front of the TV for a change or vice versa (the world will stay where it is until you finish your dinner)
- If your time is tight, volunteer
- If you are right-handed, try doing things with your left hand for a day
- When you watch people interact, change your position. Try seeing the situation from one point of view and then shift it to another one
- Wear something unusual, something that will surprise people so much they will say something about it
- If you normally take a shower, take a bath instead or sit while you shower
- If you usually have dinner with your kids, have dinner on your own
- Go see a movie you would typically not see
- If you are the dog walker in the house, give the leash to someone else
- If you are the one making dinner, give someone else the responsibility for it once a week
- Copy a song you love by hand onto a piece of paper so you can pay attention to the lyrics
- Call a family member for no reason at all
- Pay attention to one color throughout the day. For example, have a yellow day and pay attention to everything yellow for a whole day
- Put off buying something at the supermarket. For example, scratch something you do not really need from the shopping list
- If you normally drive, take the back seat (and say nothing about the driving)
- If you walk slowly, try walking fast
- Go to the library and take out a book about something ancient
- Switch your mobile phone off for a day and keep it off no matter what happens
- Write a goal on your mirror with a whiteboard marker
- Do something kind for the environment
- Dance alone for 5 minutes
- Get rid of something you do not use
- If you are generally busy, stop and do nothing at all for a while
- Renew your contact with someone you have not contacted for years
- When in a social gathering, approach someone you would not approach normally
- Do something you are afraid of doing
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going
– Jim Rohn
Flexibility of mind helps greatly with changing the habits that are not good for us. When they are not part of our life, they clear the place for good habits and when we have the good habits, they sky is the limit.
Be happy in life,
Ronit
This post is part of the series How to Change Habits:
- How to Change Habits: Servants or Masters
- How to Change Habits: Habit Types and How they Form
- How to Change Habits: Flexibility of the Mind
