• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Family MattersPractical Parenting Blog

  • Home
  • Series
  • About Ronit Baras
  • Books by Ronit Baras
    • Motivating Kids
    • Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers
    • Reflections
    • In the Outback with Jasmine Banks
    • The Will
    • * Your Cart
    • * Secure Checkout
  • Contact
    • Join Us
Home » Emotional Intelligence » Personal Development » The Art of Listening: How to Listen

The Art of Listening: How to Listen

Listen more talk less - a tip on how to listenTo wrap up the year with a post on our “The Art of Listening” series , here are some great tips on how to listen and how to become a better listener.

To start off, we discussed 10 situations that turn off the listening switch and make it harder to keep engaged. In the previous post, I shared four listening types: the kind listener, the empathetic listener, the critical listener and the solution focused listener.

If you want to know how to listen, you should know how to use all of them. So in this post, I will share ideas of how to become a kind listener, an empathetic listener, a critical listener and a solution focused listener and how to use each of these listening styles when appropriate.

How to listen using listening types

How to be a kind listener

  1. When you listen to other speak, try to think of good things to say about them and ways to support them.
  2. Find things you agree with and focus on them in your conversation.
  3. Find positive explanations for things the speaker said that seemed a bit off. For example, if they were curt, say, “She was probably very tired”.

A lemon wearing headphones

How to be an empathetic listener

  1. Ask questions to help the other person to express themselves.
  2. Nod your head.
  3. Mirror the speaker expressions and body language.
  4. Become the speaker’s sounding board (i.e. reflect back what they are saying) but do not challenge them.
  5. Make validating sounds, like: mmm, mhm, yes, uh-huh…
  6. Say validating phrases such as, “I understand”, “I see”, “yes”, and “right”. Do not be tempted to assume how the person is feeling. If you assumed wrong, they may feel even more misunderstood.

How to be a critical listener

Critical listening is a bit tricky. It suits in some situations and not others. For example, in a social setting, it is best to avoid it altogether. In work situations, you might try the strategies below:

  1. Ask questions until you fully understand what the topic is about.
  2. Use hypothetical questions to trigger thinking and analysis.
  3. Ask for explanations if you find inconsistencies.
  4. Keep calm even if there are confusions and misunderstandings. This will help you sound more positive and less aggressive.
  5. Give your opinion only when asked.
  6. If you want to create change, remember that motivating people towards positive change is better than telling them off for doing the ‘wrong’ thing.

How to be a solution focused listener

  1. Listen twice as muh as you talkBeing solution focused can come in very handy. But remember to use it appropriately. Try to share your ideas only when asked. If you can help the speaker get to the solutions by themselves by asking questions, they will be more likely to adopt your suggestions later on.
  2. Ask, “What needs to happen for you to feel better?”. This is a good way to help you shift the conversation topic towards solutions rather than problems.
  3. Ask, “So, what are you going to do?”. This question gives the speaker an opportunity to share what they are already thinking. Maybe they have already thought of the suggestions you had in mind. It will validate their feeling while keeping the focus on solutions.
  4. Phrase your solutions as options, like “How about trying…” rather than “Do this…”
  5. Phrase your suggestion as a question to verify if the speaker has tried it before, “Have you tried…?”
  6. Share a personal story that includes your suggestion.
  7. Accept it graciously if your suggestion is not adopted.

So now you know how to listen.

That is it from us for 2013. We hope you join us again next year for more posts and the next segment in “The Art of Listening”, on things to watch out for when using each of the listening types.

We wish you all a very happy and safe holiday season, filled with love and laughter. A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you all.

See you in 2014!
Ronit & the Family Matters Team

This post is part of the series The Art of Listening:

  • The Art of Listening: I Can’t Hear You!
  • The Art of Listening: Listening Types
  • The Art of Listening: How to Listen

Share This Page

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Related

 

December 19, 2013 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development, Relationships / Marriage Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, assumptions, change, emotional intelligence, empathy, focus, friends / friendship, how to, listening, motivation, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, positive, questions, relationships / marriage, social, tips

Reader Interactions

Share Your Thoughts Cancel reply

* Your comment may take up to a day to appear.

Get Happiness by Email

Sign up to receive posts by email and get my free mini-course Seven Emails with Seven Secrets for Seven Weeks to boost your personal development

0% Complete

Join Us on Social Media

  • Click to visit our Facebook page (Opens in new window)
  • Click to visit my Twitter profile (Opens in new window)
  • Click to visit my LinkedIn profile (Opens in new window)
  • Click to see my Pinterest profile (Opens in new window)
  • Click to visit the RSS feed (Opens in new window)

Books by Ronit Baras

  • What motivates your child? Read Motivating Kids by Ronit Baras Motivating Kids From: $9.95
  • Reflections by Ronit Baras Reflections From: $5.99
  • In the Outback with Jasmine Banks by Ronit Baras In the Outback with Jasmine Banks From: $5.99
  • Be Special Be Yourself for Teenagers by Ronit Baras Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers From: $5.99
  • The Will by Ronit Baras The Will From: $5.99

Be Happy in LIFE logo
Book your private life coaching with Ronit Baras and learn how to be happy in life

Girl speaking at student leadership programLeaders are not born. They are made. Bring this Student Leadership Program to your primary school or high school and you will create a community of empowered, inspired student leaders, parents and teachers.

Need Better Movie Options?

SmartFeed better movie options

You’re Reading a Top 50 Parenting Blog

Top 50 Family Blog Award Top 50 Amazing Parenting Blogs 2017

Related Links

  • Be Happy in LIFE – Life Coaching
  • Noff Baras – Screen Actor & Model
  • Personal Growth Web
  • The Motivational Speaker
  • Tsoof Baras – percussionist, composer and producer

Primary Sidebar

Your Cart

Speaker Bookings

Ronit Baras
Book Ronit as a Speaker for Your event »

Ready to be happy?

Happy woman holding a cup in the snow
Be empowered and set your spirit free!

Engage Ronit as Your Life Coach »

Give to Receive

Kiva - loans that change lives

Contact Us · Subscribe · Terms of Use / Privacy Statement · Affiliate Program · Sitemap

Copyright © 2021 Be Happy in LIFE · Built and powered by Get Business Online

Secure HTTPS

  • Home
  • Series
  • About Ronit Baras
  • Books by Ronit Baras
    • Motivating Kids
    • Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers
    • Reflections
    • In the Outback with Jasmine Banks
    • The Will
    • * Your Cart
    • * Secure Checkout
  • Contact
    • Join Us

How to Motivate Kids

Motivating Kids by Ronit Baras
Get this essential guide to motivating kids (and teens) and master the art of motivation.

BUY IT NOW

×
Happiness

Get Happiness by Email

Sign up to receive posts by email and get my free mini-course Seven Emails with Seven Secrets for Seven Weeks to boost your personal development

0% Complete
×

Share This Page

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)