• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Family MattersPractical Parenting Blog

  • Home
  • Series
  • About Ronit Baras
  • Books by Ronit Baras
    • Motivating Kids
    • Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers
    • Reflections
    • In the Outback with Jasmine Banks
    • The Will
    • * Your Cart
    • * Secure Checkout
  • Contact
    • Join Us
Home » Emotional Intelligence » Choice Theory: Happy Business

Choice Theory: Happy Business

Which direction to take?In the last two posts on “choice theory,” I covered William Glasser’s reality theory and the seven deadly and caring habits and their impact on relationships and parenting.

Glasser’s choice theory helped not just individuals but also organizations like schools and businesses to enable management, workers, and students to take part in the system using internal motivation and avoid conflicts.

Every business transaction (and schooling is similar) is a transaction in relationship. We call good relationship a good business transaction, and conflict, anger, disappointment, and frustration a bad business transaction. For a business to succeed, it needs to establish good relationship between all participants and connect well. Glasser called it “Lead Management.” Using the choice theory in business, employees, managers, suppliers, and clients replace external control with internal control based on happy and successful relationship and are very much dependent on the managers, who lead the organizations.

Leadership is a very complex skill. Though some are very natural at leading, most of the skill can be learned. Every year I take a group of kids through a leadership training. Recently I ran  a camp and was shocked to discover that one of the student leaders, who worked with me two months earlier in a leadership program, came to camp a different kid. To the first training day he came for the fun (which wasn’t a bad thing). He was not focused at all on the task (I thought he was happy that he had a day off from school). When he came to camp on the second training day, he was a leader. He took responsibility and helped and cared for others. He participated a lot and took risks. Every word he said was so composed and confident. I was shocked. When I talked to the principal about it, he said he noticed it in class as well. His mum said after the first training, he came back home a different kid and took on other leadership positions in church. So it doesn’t take long to raise leaders, but it requires work and giving them the skills to choose differently.

Managers/bosses appear on a continuum toward being a leader.

The types of managersThe main idea is to help people self-reflect and be aware of their own choices without using force and abusing power and when the manager/boss is a leader who facilitates communication based on trust and improvement that come from within and impact successfully on the bottom line.

This grid is the one I use for my business coaching and workshop. I am sure any person who is looking to improve his business and has workers can benefit from using this table. If you are an employee, it is good for you to assess if your workplace is a healthy place to be. Again, it is on a continuum so no one is totally, 100% on one side. The aim is to find the balance between the two, and it is possible. The boss and the laissez faire are not healthy and very disconnecting. Lead management is somewhere in the middle and a sign of connection.

By the way, I find this table useful for me at home and in class. If you consider the classroom or the family as a business, you will find that you are the one running the show. Don’t aim to be the boss. Aim to be a leader.

Here is a table that explains the difference between the two and why the leadership position is better.

Boss Lead Manager Laissez-faire
Very forceful

Communicates on a need-to-know basis

Externally motivated

Wants to be the boss

Supportive

Transparent, has no hidden agenda

Communicates openly

Internally motivated

Involves others with decision making and welcomes their input without feeling threatened

Likes to work in the group

Gives many options to choose from

Not confident

Uncertain with his decision making

Makes too many changes

Uses deadly habits:
criticizing
blaming
complaining
nagging
threatening
punishing
bribing or rewarding to control
Uses caring habits:
supporting
encouraging
listening
accepting
trusting
respecting
negotiating differences
Likes to set the rules

Does not give many options

Has a “my way or the highway” mentality

Sets the criteriaHas a punishment system

Improves the system using the criteria chosen by the group

Develops others based on their set of skills, strength, and weaknesses

Develops self-evaluation system and promotes communication and team work by investing in workers’ relationships

Does not improve the system

Does not have any evaluation system

Sets the deadlines Flexible with plan Doesn’t set deadlines
Has a strict plan Has no plan

Changes priorities often

Agrees with all, therefore subject to lots of pressure and changes his opinion about it from time to time so it is hard to trust that his agreeing is final

Very unclear

Says okay but does not elaborate

Doesn’t mind who makes the decisions

Evaluates others in a critical way

Considers workers as his workers

Has a hierarchy of employment, of which he is at the top and most important

Does not initiate communication

Follows external rules

Inconsistent with his behavior and communication (behavior changes depending on day, circumstances, pressure)

Never gives feedback

If you are a boss, find out where you are and evaluate yourself. If you are a parent, do the same. I am sure you are afraid of losing control and power, but you will be surprised to find out how much power you get from becoming your family or your business leader.

If you are a teacher, do the same. I know that teaching is much harder. Having 30 kids in the class is not the same as having two or three in the house, but I think it is even more important to do it in a class.

Join me next time when I explain the choice theory and how wonderful it is to be implemented in the classroom.

Happy business relationship!
Ronit

This post is part of the series Choice Theory:

  • Choice Theory: Be Happy in Life
  • Choice Theory: Happy Relationships
  • Choice Theory: Happy Parenting
  • Choice Theory: Happy Business
  • Choice Theory: Happy Classrooms
  • Choice Theory: Happy Teachers

Share This Page

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Related

 

October 10, 2013 by Ronit Baras In: Emotional Intelligence Tags: choice, communication styles, decision making, emotional intelligence, evaluation, failure, gratitude, guilt, identity, leadership, Life Coaching, listening, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, responsibility, success

Reader Interactions

Share Your Thoughts Cancel reply

* Your comment may take up to a day to appear.

Get Happiness by Email

Sign up to receive posts by email and get my free mini-course Seven Emails with Seven Secrets for Seven Weeks to boost your personal development

0% Complete

Join Us on Social Media

  • Click to visit our Facebook page (Opens in new window)
  • Click to visit my Twitter profile (Opens in new window)
  • Click to visit my LinkedIn profile (Opens in new window)
  • Click to see my Pinterest profile (Opens in new window)
  • Click to visit the RSS feed (Opens in new window)

Books by Ronit Baras

  • What motivates your child? Read Motivating Kids by Ronit Baras Motivating Kids From: $9.95
  • Reflections by Ronit Baras Reflections From: $5.99
  • In the Outback with Jasmine Banks by Ronit Baras In the Outback with Jasmine Banks From: $5.99
  • Be Special Be Yourself for Teenagers by Ronit Baras Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers From: $5.99
  • The Will by Ronit Baras The Will From: $5.99

Be Happy in LIFE logo
Book your private life coaching with Ronit Baras and learn how to be happy in life

Girl speaking at student leadership programLeaders are not born. They are made. Bring this Student Leadership Program to your primary school or high school and you will create a community of empowered, inspired student leaders, parents and teachers.

Need Better Movie Options?

SmartFeed better movie options

You’re Reading a Top 50 Parenting Blog

Top 50 Family Blog Award Top 50 Amazing Parenting Blogs 2017

Related Links

  • Be Happy in LIFE – Life Coaching
  • Noff Baras – Screen Actor & Model
  • Personal Growth Web
  • The Motivational Speaker
  • Tsoof Baras – percussionist, composer and producer

Primary Sidebar

Your Cart

Speaker Bookings

Ronit Baras
Book Ronit as a Speaker for Your event »

Ready to be happy?

Happy woman holding a cup in the snow
Be empowered and set your spirit free!

Engage Ronit as Your Life Coach »

Give to Receive

Kiva - loans that change lives

Contact Us · Subscribe · Terms of Use / Privacy Statement · Affiliate Program · Sitemap

Copyright © 2021 Be Happy in LIFE · Built and powered by Get Business Online

Secure HTTPS

  • Home
  • Series
  • About Ronit Baras
  • Books by Ronit Baras
    • Motivating Kids
    • Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers
    • Reflections
    • In the Outback with Jasmine Banks
    • The Will
    • * Your Cart
    • * Secure Checkout
  • Contact
    • Join Us

How to Motivate Kids

Motivating Kids by Ronit Baras
Get this essential guide to motivating kids (and teens) and master the art of motivation.

BUY IT NOW

×
Happiness

Get Happiness by Email

Sign up to receive posts by email and get my free mini-course Seven Emails with Seven Secrets for Seven Weeks to boost your personal development

0% Complete
×

Share This Page

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)