Last month, I sent my car to be serviced. On the front window, my mechanic put a label telling me when to bring the car to him for the next service. When he returned my car, it drove perfectly, quietly, smoothly, swiftly and without any black smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe.
People are a lot like cars. We function well, smoothly and at full speed when we take good care of ourselves. When we neglect ourselves, we feel bad, rejected and frustrated and our performance suffers. Whereas cars need servicing every 10,000km, people need it roughly every week (10,000 minutes), so take care of yourself at least once a week to feel fresh and shiny.
Our self-esteem needs service from time to time. Work on your self-esteem once a week
Many of us practitioners wish we could be “people mechanics”. “Come for a service and we will check and fix you, add water and oil and there you are, like a new person”.
Unfortunately, while Eli, my mechanic, can work his magic and fix my car while I am doing other things, when fixing self-esteem, the owner needs to be present. It is impossible to fix any emotional “leakages” in your machine without you being there.
To increase your self-esteem you need to be present
Servicing our self-esteem needs commitment and dedication. Cars that have not been serviced for a long time might require more time, money and effort to fix.
If you want to increase your self-esteem, remember that there are no “quick fixes”. The more the self has been neglected, the more time and effort you are going to need to overcome the difficulties and the problems.
If I did not take care of my car for a whole year and then came to my mechanic and said, “The wheels are too worn out to drive, there is no water, no oil and no petrol and I want you to fix everything by the end of the day”, I would face major disappointment (in fact, Eli would kick me out of his shop in no time).
Emotional challenges that have not been taken care of for along time require extra time and effort to fix.
If you have not serviced your self-esteem for a long time, the next service is going to be longer, harder and more costly
Self-esteem needs to be constantly taken care of just like a car. Make sure you take care of yourself once a week. Make sure you take full responsibility for your progress and do not put it off.
At the auto shop, the mechanic has a list of things he needs to check. Oil – check, tires – check, water – check, lights – check. He goes over each one of them and ensures that they function properly before he hands me back the car.
Join us next week for the next edition of the self-esteem mini course and find out the list we need to check each week to make sure we function well emotionally.
And until next time, be happy,
Ronit
If you have not read the previous chapters of the self-esteem mini-course, visit self esteem, how school promotes low self-esteem, beliefs and where they come from and social identity.
This post is part of the series Self Esteem Mini-Course:
- What Is Self Esteem?
- How School Promotes Low Self Esteem
- Beliefs and Where They Come From
- Social Identity
- Service Your Self-Esteem
- Your Self-Esteem Checklist
- How to Get Rid of Doubts
- Assertiveness and Self Esteem
- How to Be Assertive
- Beliefs of Assertive People
- Ronit Baras’ Success Experience Theory
- Ms Self Esteem has an Identity Crisis
- 13 Useful Conflict Resolution Steps You Need to Know
- Watch Your language or Lose Your Kids’ Trust
- War Between Two Minds
- What if
- What do I Think?
- Awareness is Half the Solution
- Damaging Kids’ Self Esteem
- Boosting Kids’ Self Esteem
