Kissing is one of the best tools parents have in their parenting tool kit. Kissing has been known for ages to make miracles, to heal a wound and to get rid of worries and pain, particularly for children.

Would you not want the power to get rid of worries and help ease pain?

The real magic lies in what children think about the kiss. It is the same kiss you get when you are older, but it has somehow lost its magic for many people. Maybe we grownups need to re-adopt our childhood beliefs about kisses and to kiss more.

My family was not a kissing family. I have watched my mom kissing her little grandchildren constantly, which made me think she believed it was appropriate to kiss kids, but not grownups.

This belief seems to be similar in different cultures. One of my clients said to me once that every two to three years, when he meets his dad, who lives overseas, they shake hands.

Gal and I have always kissed each other when we to up in the morning, left home, came back and whenever we had a good time or wanted to make each other feel good.

When I was 27, we visited Gal’s host family in Connecticut (he was an exchange student there in his Junior Year of high school). Sally and Sam were an amazing couple. When they went to bed, they gave us a hug and a kiss as if they had not seen us for a long time, although we had come that same day. When they got up in the morning, they did the same. At first, I thought it was just for the first day of our arrival, but they continued to hug and kiss us every day. I loved it!

Gal and I talked about it and decided our family would do the same, that kissing was not just for kids and that every time we met and every time we said goodbye, we would treat it as the last time. It has been over 19 years since our visit to Sally and Sam and we still have that tradition. We believe this is why our kids are comfortable kissing, even in public.

About kissing: did you know?

1. The word “kiss” comes from the German word “küssen”, which likely originated from the sound made by kissing.
2. The scientific name for kissing is “philematology”.
3. Kissing uses 29 muscles – what a wonderful way to exercise your facial muscles and prevent wrinkling.
4. 66% of people close their eyes when they kiss. The rest like to watch the look on their partner’s face while kissing.
5. A quick kiss burns 2-3 calories. A French kiss burns 5 – what an awesome diet!
6. A long, passionate, one-minute kiss burns 26 calories, combining pleasure and benefit.
7. Our lips are 200 times more sensitive than our fingers.
8. The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
9. The longest kiss ever, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, lasted 29 hours by contestants in the “Breath Savers Longest Kiss Challenge” in New York on March 24, 1998.
10. Statistically, men who kiss their wives goodbye before going to work live five years longer than those who just slam the door (those who slam the door goodbye are more prone to traffic accidents). The same should be true for saying goodbye to your kids.
11. Holding hands and kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, thereby lowering blood pressure and optimizing immune response. Think of the impact this can have on your children. It explains very well why when you hug your crying child and give them a “healing kiss”, it actually helps.
12. Eskimos, Polynesians and Malaysians rub noses instead of kissing.
13. There are 278 types of germs living in the mouth of human beings. These germs are harmless (surprised?). When two people kiss, thousands of germs flow from one mouth to another, producing enzymes and natural antibiotics for self-defense. As a result, the bodies of the two kissing individuals develop their resistibility against other pathogenic bacteria.
14. Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth. This can help avoid going to the dentist (kiss and save).
15. Our brains have special neurons that help us find each other’s lips in the dark.
16. It is said that kissing gives people the same high and good feeling as do parachuting, bungee jumping and running! This is because the neurotransmitters released while kissing are the same as those released while doing any physical activity. Thus, when kissing passionately, your heart tends to beat at a faster rate and your breathing becomes deep and irregular. Kissing is also said to improve the health of skin and give your face a glow (less facial cream and no risk of injury).
17. The bodies of a kissing couple produce a substance that is 200 times more powerful than morphine in terms of narcotic effect. That is why the kissing partners can experience feelings of euphoria and bliss in the process.
18. According to behavioral neuroscientist Wendy Hill of Lafayette College in Pennsylvania, kissing produces oxytocin, also known as “the bonding hormone” or “the love hormone” in men, while making both men and women more relaxed.
19. Kissing your kids can heal you both.

So kiss your kids often and keep kissing them even when they grow up. It is a myth that when children become teenagers, they are ashamed of kissing their parents in public. My kids have never read the books where this is written and Gal and I have not volunteered to get the idea into their heads. They are 23, 16 and 11 years old now and they kiss us in public with pride. In fact, their friends are very impressed and incredibly jealous.

Keep the healing kiss going strong.

Kisses,
Ronit