Happy parents raise happy kids

The Right Age for a Sleepover

Girl in pajamasThis month, my 7-year-old daughter invited her friend to sleep over. Her mom, who had told me before she did not allow sleepovers, explained that she did not think the kids were ready for a sleepover until the age of 10. I then started to wonder whether there actually was a "right" age for a sleepover.

Many kids spend nights away from mom and dad and stay with other family members, right? If they are lucky (my kids are not), they have Grandpa and Grandma around the corner to make the sleepover a very special outing. If they are even luckier, they have cousins of the same age to spend holidays and weekends with. But if kids have none of these, they depend on their parents' perception of the "right" age for them to be able to sleep away from home.

As a child, I fell into the second category. Grandpa and Grandma were not much of a thrill, but I was fortunate to have cousins with whom I had the most memorable sleepovers.

Do you remember when you were a kid having a sleepover how at night the adults would come in to shoosh you to sleep, which only made you laugh more for no good reason at all, just out of a silly desire to stay awake all night and giggle?

I remember the first real sleepover I ever had. It happened when I was about 13 and a friend of mine invited me to sleep at her house. Luckily for me, her parents were not strangers (they had a funny relationship, because my dad had crashed into my friend's dad's motorcycle and broke his leg, but her dad was a police officer on duty and apparently the accident was his fault, and they became good friends after that. 11 years later, our dads were still friends when I asked to stay over at her place).

I think I cried for 2 months straight prior to being allowed my first sleepover, because my parents, despite all my begging, would not allow me to go. They were not completely heartless, though. I was actually sick at the time and had to take medication and they were very concerned about that, but I still did not like them saying "no".

I remember my excitement the day before I finally got my sleepover. I could not sleep that night from the excitement. When I got there, my friend's house looked so beautiful and her parents were so nice and welcoming.

Isn't it funny that it was 30 years ago and I still remember every detail? I remember their house, I even remember that her mom exercised in front of us, wearing a transparent sleeping gown and I could see her red sexy underwear. I remember being very surprised, because I could never imagine my mom walking around with a sleeping gown in front of anyone - not even in front of us - let alone a transparent one!

Unfortunately though, the number of sleepovers I had throughout my childhood can be counted on two hands. And after every one of them, I realized exactly how much I was missing. It was only as an adult, when I was studying education, that I actually learned about the importance of sleepovers in kids' development (and their parents' development too).

A sleepover is a good way to help kids progress to the next level of their emotional intelligence. They develop a skill that no money can buy and no teacher can teach. It is one of those things everyone needs to experience on their own.

Here are just some of the advantages of sleepovers:

  1. Slumber partyA sleepover requires flexibility. Kids are forced to leave their comfort zone and take themselves into new territory, into the unknown. With Mom and Dad knowing the host family, a sleepover can teach the kids that they can take that risk and survive it.
  2. A sleepover allows kids to examine the differences between their family and the host family. Yes, it includes the risk of them finding advantages in the host family and faults in their own family, but it is a great opportunity to show them different ways of living and to talk about the choices you have made as parents in running your family. Such talks will actually increase the bond between you and your kids.
  3. A sleepover is a good way for kids to experience change. This is why most kids prefer to have the sleepover somewhere else, rather than invite their friends to their own house. My daughter made this point very clear when she was only 3 years old. She said, "I want to go to Ellie's house. I can play with MY toys anytime". Change is something kids need from time to time and a sleepover provides plenty of change.
  4. The younger the kids are, the more opportunities they need to stay away from their parents and still feel safe. Sleepovers are good opportunities enhance their social skills and independence. They go into a new house with a different set of rules and boundaries and they must learn to sense what those are and to get along - and most of the time they do. If, for any reason, you are called to pick them up because they miss home too much or the rules of the host family are too unfamiliar, do not be discouraged - this is just a sign they are not yet ready. Wait a month and try again.
  5. Inviting friends to sleepover can teach your kids to share their toys, their bed and even their mom and dad's attention. The younger the kids, the harder it is for them to share, but if they do like to invite friends to sleep over, it is a sign that they are confident with mom and dad's attention and are not afraid to share it.
  6. When parents allow their kids to sleepover at friends' houses, they actually let go of some control that they have over their children's life. This is not an easy task and the younger the kids, the harder it is to let go. In many ways, a kid's sleepover is a chance for parents to develop emotionally too. If you are concerned, make sure you talk to the friend's parents and if you want to build your confidence, first invite the parents with the child for a couple of play sessions to allow yourself to get to know their family better.
  7. A huge advantage for parents is a change in the atmosphere at home. When one family member is missing, the house is quiet and different. It can give you both an opportunity to do things differently and to give each other or other family members a bit more attention.
  8. I think the amazing thing is that whenever kids go to other houses, they are angels. In truth, because they are not aware of the other parent's weaknesses and because they are too busy making the best of it, they use their best manners and are on their best behavior (otherwise they might not be invited anymore). When you pick up your kids from a sleepover and you hear how wonderful they were, you can learn where your own weaknesses are. I usually use the opportunity to reinforce my kid's good behavior by telling her, "I know that you know how to behave well. Ellie's mom told me you were wonderful".

If you want to have a wonderful sleepover for your kid, here are some great tips to make it work:

  1. Make sure you help them entertain themselves. The younger they are, the harder it is for them to keep busy and excited for a long time, so keep your eyes and ears open and gently offer your help when needed.
  2. Keep sleepovers short and sweet and avoid dragging the morning after.
  3. Plan the sleepover ahead with your kid and stick to the plan.
  4. When having a sleepover or sending a kid to a sleepover, it is better not to have too many kids sleeping over together. Young kids are not sophisticated enough to be able to split their attention between too many friends. So keep it small and always keep the number of kids even.
  5. Ask the parents about food restrictions or any other things you should know about. Kids expect the things they are used to, so the more prepared you are, the better.
  6. Boys eating ice creamGet the parents' contact details and give them yours. Be prepared to pick your kid up if something goes wrong. Again, do not despair, but try again in a month or so.
  7. Make sure your kid understands that rules do not change when he or she has guests. You can bend the rules a little, but communicate the changes to your kid clearly.
  8. Keep sleepovers special. If they sleep over every weekend, the magic wears off.
  9. Encourage your kids to go and invite friends and suggest that they alternate between staying over and inviting over. This way, having 4 good friends can give you a minimum of 8 different sleepovers in any year.
  10. Take the pressure off the kids by discussing the sleepover arrangements with the other kid's parents. It is too stressful for kids to handle such logistics on their own.

Eden's first sleepover (not with family) was at the age of 4.

Tsoof's first sleepover was at the age of 4.

Noff's sleepover was at the age of 3.

At which age do you think kids are ready for a sleepover?

You may also want to read

  • http://mamasbagoftricks.blogspot.com Lian’s Parenting Tips

    The right age would be when they don't cry when they sleepover. Hahahah. Well, maybe I'm just talking about myself :)

  • http://www.behappyinlife.com/ Ronit Baras

    Lian,

    Do you mean the right age is when mom stops crying?

    Hahaha, I like the idea, it is so true.

    Happy weekend
    Ronit
    Kids Coaching

  • Jessie

    My mom, she don't alow me to go sleepover. Im like 13 now and she still don't think Im at the right age to be at any sleepover. Whats wrong is that she let my friend sleep at my place but she dont let me sleep at other people's place. She needa learn how to know what the other parents feel. Because I hate her for not understanding. Reading all that. I want my mom to read it as well. I just got my friend's call asking if I could come or not. And I have to hold my breathe saying no and hung up because i was about to cry.

  • http://www.behappyinlife.com Ronit Baras

    Hi Jessie,

    I sure think that teens your age can sloop over but I have to say that I know people that something in their past makes them so scared for their kids safety that they prevent them from doing many things that seem normal and regular.

    If she lets your friend sleep over it only means she is afraid of something happening if you sleep at a friend's house.

    I have some suggestions for you:

    1. Send her the article.
    2. Ask your friends' parents to talk to her about you coming over to their house. Adults discussing this is different than you talking to her about it.
    3. Be happy she lets you invite friends and invite them a lot. After a while she will realize that you have good friends and they do not make a mess when they visit and it is not likely to be different in their house. ( assuming it is OK when they come to visit)
    4. Tell her, " Mom, I understand you are worried. What needs to happen that for you to feel better about me going to a sleep over?" just ask. avoid fighting about it. just wait for her to answer. The question will make her think and understand that it does not work like that - one day she gets up in the morning and says, you are 14, 15 or 16 and from now it is OK to sleep over.

    Do not be angry at her. I was kid who only went to a sleep over at uncles and unties place. My first ever sleep over was at the age of 13 and I cried my heart out so they will let me sleep over ( My dad agreed because my friends' dad was the local police officer that my dad knew personally)
    It wasn't a big deal. I survived. you will too.

    I hope this helps.
    Ronit

  • Lilly

    My mom said i can't go to my "first" and "best" friend sleepover. She said I will have to be older. I read this and 3 and 4 year-olds go! And I'm ten- that's not fair.

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras

    Sweet Lilly,

    I am sure you think that you can sleep over at your best friends' house. All kids do but as I explained, there is not right age, it is all depends on the parents fears. Something made your mom think that it is not right and you need to find out what that thing is if you want to change it.
    I am not sure "Fair" is right here. No one ever said life is fair, if your mom is afraid of something than in her mind, she is protecting you and fairness has nothing to do with that.
    Here are my suggestions:
    1. Send mom this article; it will make her think about this. It is not easy to let go of fears and grown ups are afraid too.
    2. Find other family members that think it is Ok and ask them to talk to your mom. Sometimes when grown ups talk to each other; they come up with solutions that kids can't.
    3. Tell her: Mom, I want to talk to you about something. Find a quiet spot, when no one is around, when there is no stress and ask her without anger, just to know, "What is the worst thing that can happen if I go to sleep over?" Make sure you ask it in an honest way, and really listen to her answer. In her answer you can hear what she is worried about.
    4. Some parents do not like their kids to go over to other's houses but they are happy to invite friends for a sleep over. Ask mom if this is OK? Maybe for a while until she trusts that everything will be fine when you are going to a friends' house, she will let you invite friends for a sleep over.
    5. If mom ( or dad) are not happy, make sure that the first sleep overs are with one friend and that they talk to your friends' parents. I am a mom and I only allow my kids to sleep over after I talked with their friends' parents. Maybe that will help you mom too.
    Try not to think of it as "fair" or not. Your mom loves you very much and she may have different ideas of how to raise you. I think it is important you talk to her about it to find out what needs to happen for her to think it is Ok and help her make a different decision.
    I told Jess that I did my first sleep over at the age of 13. I didn't like it but I understand my parents' fears now so I am not angry.

    Good luck
    Ronit

  • Lilly

    Thanks for the answer!

  • Nishh

    Hi Ronit,

    While trying to do some research on how to convince my parents to sleep over, I came across your article. See, I am 15 going on 16 and I am still not considered the right age to go to my parents.

    I have tried multiple solutions to this problem. I have attempted the childish yelling and screaming route, the attempt at reasoning and my friends parents have even gone so far as to ask my parents if I could come to the cottage with them.

    Finally, I have reverted to the most mature form I could possibly think of. I am going to research a proposal and call a meeting with my parents to talk about it with legitimate points and with sources that i have found through my research.

    The only problem is that when we've discussed this previously, it always comes back to their completely unfounded fear of it not being "safe". When I have tried to further unfound their fears, it makes them angrier, even when i try to assure them i am inside, and with other parents that they know have the same parenting values as them and have known for YEARS.

    What should I do?

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras

    Nishh,

    It is surprising that a girl turning 16 still needs to fight her parents for the right to sleep over but... as I said before, fears are so strong that your age may not help with that.

    From your comment, it is easy to tell that you are a very smart girl and I am sure that if you will seek the answer, it will come.

    Your meeting idea is great.
    I would recommend you will use the meeting to gather information rather than tell them what you think ( they know what you think).
    You can tell them "I know that you love me and care for me and worried for my safety. I appreciate it very much and I want you to know that my safety is important to me too. At one stage, I will leave home and have to care for myself. sleeping over is a trial in independence. When I grow, you grow too. I need to practice taking care of myself as much as you need to practice letting go. I know it is hard but we both need to do it and the best way we can. The more time I will have to practice, the better I will get when the time comes"

    remember, do not tell them how safe you will be only ask them " What needs to happen for you to feel safe while I sleep over?" and wait, wait, wait for the answer.
    Even if you have the answer, do not reply. only say, I want to take that information, think about it and find a way that would work for both of us.
    give yourself 2-3 days and say:
    " I thought about it and I found a way that will make you feel I am safe"

    pushing is not the way to help people overcome their fears. It is scary being a parent so be understanding and acknowledge the fear and your sincere appreciation for the responsibility they take.

    tell us how the meeting went and above all - take care of yourself in such a way that your parents will never, never, never be afraid for your safety.

    keep us updated
    Ronit

  • Sara

    Most parents reasons for not letting their child sleep over to someone else's house is not to make their children's lives miserable, but because they love their children deeply and are concerned for their safety. The world is both a beautiful and scary place at times.

    If your mom doesn't let you sleep over someone else's house please do not be too angry with her. Do you know that she loves you? Be glad that you have a mother that loves you. One day you will be off on your own. Older. And while you may wish you had the opportunity to go to more sleep overs, hopefully you will realize that your childhood was safe and your mother loved you and was there for you.

    Appreciate her caring.

    There are many articles over the web that will tell you what you want to hear. It is a wise idea to present them to your parents and start a dialogue with them about issues that are important to you.

  • Sara

    Here is a good article that voices many parents concerns Ronit. http://activelyaware.blogspot.com/2010/02/important-sleepover-safety-tips.html Please don't make light of parents' concerns. It is likely that they are quite caring and love their children very much.

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras

    Hi Sara,

    I think your suggestions are wonderful and they tell kids to understand the adult perspective, which is the problem in the first place - they are kids! they do not have the understanding that bad things may happen to them and in my opinion it is better not to say that to them.
    In the issue of sleep over the real players are the parents. They have an important role in giving their kids opportunities to interact in many ways, weighing the risks.
    As I said, playing in the playground has many risks and if you search accidents in the playground, you would probably not take your 2 year old child to the playground ever again, still, we need to get over ourselves and realize when our anxiety has taken over our common sense.
    Kids needs sleep over opportunities, making it safe is parents responsibility. When there is a will, there is a way!
    If you are not sure about them going to sleep over, invite them to sleep over.
    If you are afraid they will do something in their room, have a sleep over in the living room.

    Parents'concerns are real and I would not encourage them to ignore them but to address them. Saying "No" is not addressing them but pretending they do not exist.

    Happy day
    Ronit

  • Melody

    hi my mom says i can actully sleep over at my friends house!!! and now she is saying maybe and now she saying yes again i dont no wat to do and it is a slumber party and this is the last year we will no each other were moving away from each other next year for midddle school pls help me!

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras

    Melody,

    So, do you mean she allows you or not?
    If your mom is not decisive it usually means she is not very confident.
    Again, ask her " What needs to happen for you to feel more confident about me going?" and try working with her to make her feel good and that you are safe.
    You will have lots and lots of parties in middle school.
    Talk to your mom and help her overcome this fear.

    Good luck
    Ronit
    http://www.behappyinlife.com

  • Speakingout

    All of these things can be accomplished with playdates or full day visits. I, as a mother, would be appalled if I new another parent was wearing a see through nighty with sexy red underwear in front of my child! That is extremely disrespectful. I had sleepovers as a child and a lot went on that if they didn't I probably would be better for it. Also, I cam from an abusive home where my stepfather sexually abused me and yet, my mother knowing this, allowed my friends to sleepover. Can you imagine? You may be letting your child sleep over at a pedophile's house and not know it. We all have this fear within us, it's a question we struggle with all of the time "Should I let my child have sleepovers?" Maybe there is a reason for that struggle, maybe we really shouldn't be allowing it at all. I gave into the pressures of society and went against my own feelings and what my experiences taught me, I let my oldest son have sleepovers with one particular friend, since those went ok I let him have a sleepover with another friend, only to find out he was intorduced to porn. Great! Apparently the mother let her con do whatever he wanted on the computer. Now that I have two more boys and now a daughter, we have stopped sleepovers. There is just way too much stuff that can happen at night.

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Speaking out,

    I think you can tell your kids that your experience shows that there maybe trustworthy people but not everyone is trustworthy.
    Remember, I didn't see anything wrong with wearing a sexy gown. I thought it was beautiful and hoped my mum would wear such things.
    The problem is that you cannot protect them forever and you have to put systems in place so your kids tell you that something went wrong.
    Eden, our daughter went to a party at the age of 13, it was a party, not a sleep over and it was at one of our best friend's house. Their son was her boyfriend the year before and we didn't think it was a bad influence or anything like that. They were nice couple and we liked them a lot. It was over half an hour drive and we dropped her in, went inside, said hi, checked around ( we knew their house, had dinners together at their place couple of times) and went home, after an hour she called and said, "come pick me up!". We have a rule, if she says something like that, we don't question her judgment. We asked her if she is safe, she couldn't talk much on the phone and we drove to pick her up. She said "excuse me, I don't feel so good" and we took her home. On the way home, we discovered that our friends, the mother and the father, opened a drinking bar for the kids and drank with them alcohol to the stage of kids drunk and talking stupid.

    I can understand your concern and I know it is real and scary but I would rather teach my kids to tell me when something is wrong to allow me to protect them.

    As you say, sometimes the parent is the abuser and we cannot be with them 24 hours a day to protect them, it is better to develop in them a sensor when something is wrong and an open channel to communicate with you when someone around them is doing something wrong.

    When there is something wrong in a friends' house, it will be wrong even during the day, during a play day. It doesn't have to be at night.

    I know what you mean. My kids went to a camp that the organizers neglected some kids ( not mine) in such a way that it dangered their life. I told my kids they will never, never, never go to that camp with those organizers - I don't even argue!

    If I were you, I would tell my kids that my personal experience created fears that are hard for me to ignore and I would like to protect them and that if they work together with me to reassure that they are safe, we can find an arrangement. My solution would be always to invite for sleep overs. I know that my house is safe.

  • Aircrewmanwife1

    thanks for sharing this. i have a soon to be 7 year old little girl. she is my only child. she had been to one sleep over and i went to the parents house ( it was my best friend who had let her sleep over) to check on her and texted her a bunch of times. i had a harder time being apart from her then she did me. she has asked a few times to have a sleep over at our house, but when i met the parents and did the play date thing, the other parents always said no. glad you put in there to have an even number of kids but a small amount. we are a military family so its hard to keep friends around and we do not live near family. i have had three sleepovers in my life and my first one was when i was 7. im just worried she will pick up bad habits from other homes too. i told my husband when she is 10 i think she and i will be ready for her to do sleepovers. after reading your article, i see if i wait that long what she will be missing out on. again thanks for sharing :)

  • Tracyraisa

    My daughter is 5 like her cousin and they want sleep overs. I'm really not sure. A lot more resposibility with other kids. I feel quite scared about it actually. It's very daughting. I was about 7 or 8 years when I had my first with a friend accross the road but younger when it was at my grandparents. That was usually so my parents could go out not just for fun!

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Tracyraisa, 

    I can understand the concern, especially when you have your mind set to 7-8 years old. It should be easier with cousins as the child coming to sleep over is someone you know. 
    I think if you are scared, invite them to sleep over before sending your daughter to sleep over. In your house, you can control what they do? 
    Ask yourself, What are you afraid of? 

    Ronit 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Aircrewmanwife1,
     It was brave of you to let her sleep over. It is very important for kids health and well being to be in a different house and see how it works. I think it is good for kids to see different houses and how they function. If you are confident with your parenting, the kids will learn to appreciate you and your style after they go to other kids' house. My kids come back and say " In this house, the kids do not clear the table, mum is doing everything " and they talk about it as a bad thing. I am happy they go to see that it looks bad when you look at it from the outside. Many of my kids' friends' parents like sending them here for a sleep over. In our house, we all help preparing dinner and setting and clearing the table, and everyone takes a salad and try new things and every time they go home their parents call and say : "What have you done to my kid, he suddenly eat salad or help at home" So , no, they sometimes learn good things. They are exposed to different dynamic, it is good for them. Kids don't pick bad habits because they are young. When she will be 10 years old, it will be the same, if her house is solid, she will learn to appreciate it, if her house is weak, she will pick up bad habits no matter how old she is. Play date is a wonderful compromise. 

  • Pingback: When is it safe for your child to go for a sleepover?

  • Lauravalentina G

    most parents let the kids go on sleepover anytime but who am a parent should let my kids go on a sleepover they are ready and when am ready you would have to talk with them explain how your going be away from them

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    I am not sure most parents do but you are right, it is important to talk to the kids about it. 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Hi Sara, 

    I hope the kid that wrote this had a chance to read your comment. 
    The more they hear that their parents love them, the more they will believe and they need to believe. 
    Thanks.

  • K-man

    I'm a dad in my upper 40s, and my 7 year-old daughter is hosting her first birthday sleepover here at our house tomorrow night. My wife has asked me and our 9 year-old son to stay at my mother's overnight - not because the girls need the extra bed space, but because my wife thinks it will put the other girls' moms at ease. I find this ridiculous, and don't know whether to be insulted or not, but I will agree, just to keep the peace. There has never been one iota of creepy behavior in my dealing with the girls or their moms, many of whom I have met before, nor do I have ANY pedophilic tendencies. As an adult male, though I guess it goes with the territory, so to speak - we're potentially dangerous! Sheesh! What feedback do you ladies/guys have on this?

  • Schislky16

    the age for sleepover should be 6!!! thats when i had my first sleepover! what do u think is gonna happen??!?!?!?! i turned out TOTALLY NORMAL! omg i also thought her last name was bras....awkward

  • Kat

     One thing that really annoys me with my friends (We're all thirteen) is that their parents don't let them do anything!And i mean anything!  "Wanna go see a movie?" I'll ask-and they'll say no because their parents think it is inappropriate.  IT WAS THE MUPPETS!  And I was going to have a Birthday sleepover-but they all made excuses-My parents won't let me.  My parents don't know your parents.  I'm allergic to cats (she owns a cat).  It makes me angry that these parents won't get over their kids growing up.  My parents let me have my first sleepover when I was six!  GROW THE HECK UP!

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    K-man, 
    I can understand your wife's request and I think if I were you, I would say " No!". 
    I an understand why the others mums would feel better but this is not a reason for you to leave your house. They are grown up and they have made the decision to send their girls to a sleep over. 
    I find it hard to believe anyone asked your wife to ask you to leave. 
    If anyone would have asked me, I would have said to them that if they think like that, maybe it is better if they don't come to the party. 

    That's me. 

    Ronit 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Kat, 

    That makes you a lucky girl. 
    Maybe they have another reason not to come to the movies? 
    Do you mean they have never seen a movie with friends? 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Shislky16, 

    I like your answer. 
    think of it, if every parent say " the right age is when I went to sleep over first" so many kids will be deprived from sleep over. 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Melody, 

    Talk to her and try to find out what bothers her. 
    There will be many opportunities in the future for a sleep over. 

  • Purplegirl206

    you should just let them try it, see how it works out, if it doesn't they can always ask to go home. i had my first sleepover when i was in Pre-K, the first time, i was scared and went home, the second time, a had no problem. As long as you have a responsible, nice family, with a parent that you know well, they'll be fine.

  • Dimond

    i never get to go to a sleepover

  • guest

    my son just turned 6 last week and was invited to spend the night with a child in his class.  I am not against sleepovers, but I am against a sleepover with this child.  He is the "troublemaker" of the class and he and my son almost had a fist fight on the playground last week.   His mom is also sometimes in charge of the aftercare at school and the kids are always "crazy" when I come to pick my son up when she is there. (not that way when other parents are in charge)  I also do not know the parents that well except for a few short conversations at school or on field trips that we both attended.  I think that I and any other parent in this situation have a substantiated reason NOT to let their child spend the night.  It has nothing to do with something that has happened in MY past.   It is what is happening with my son and this child in the present.  It is certainly a fear though.  Fear that they get in a huge fight before the sleepover is complete.  I don't want a phone call at 2 a.m. saying that my son has a bloody nose or a black eye.

    On another note, my son does have a great friend who we have done several play dates with and my husband and I have developed a wonderful relationship with his parents.  It has never come up, but I would certainly feel comfortable letting my son spend the night with him.

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Guest, 

    If I were you. I would say No as well. 
    Giving kids an opportunity to experience sleep over cannot be done at all cost. 
    With such children, I avoid even play time. 
    Trusting your gut instincts is listening to your own GPS and having a safe drive. 
    Just to make sure you son don't think he has a problem, you can arrange a sleep over with a kid that is good for him to associate with. 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    Dimond, 

    How old are you? 

  • http://www.ronitbaras.com/ ronitbaras

    I think Purple girl 206 is right! 
    If kids have the option to go back home, they will ask to go home. 

  • Pingback: Slumber Party: Sleepover Reloaded

  • noplacelikehome

    None of the reasons posted actually explain why it's the sleeping over that's important. All of my children have gained these experiences simply by spending the day, or even a few hours, or being invited over for dinner with friend's and their families. Our culture is so lax with allowing children to spend the night with friends and acquaintances whenever they are invited that we have sorely lost touch with our morals, values, and boundaries. I can't even recall one sleepover as a child when we actually even slept all night, or didn't watch horror or sexual movies or shows that my own parents never would have made me watch, or didn't get taught something about sexuality that was perverse or way before it was age appropriate, or didn't do something wrong that went unpunished, or didn't sneak out, or didn't make prank phone calls, or didn't have to worry about something... like being made fun of or tortured if I fell asleep at a group slumber party.
    I HATED experiencing these things at sleepovers, and never wanted my children to have to be subjected to these things. Think twice, they are not necessary for proper development. "there is no place like home"

  • Pingback: Kids Sleepover Tips

Ronit Baras

Be Happy in LIFE logo     Book your private life coaching with Ronit Baras and learn how to be happy in life