Most of us move through life reacting automatically to what shows up in front of us. Something happens — the scale goes up, a cold sets in, we overeat after a stressful day — and immediately we label it: bad, wrong, a setback, a failure.
And once we label something, our mind jumps into its usual story.
- “I messed up again.”
- “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
- “This shouldn’t be happening.”
- “What’s wrong with me?”
We don’t even notice that we’re doing it.
But every once in a while, life gives us a moment that shakes us gently, wakes us up, and invites us to see differently. Sometimes when we shift our mind, we get to turn weeds to flowers.
Let me tell you a story.
The Weed That Changed Everything
It was a quiet and lovely afternoon in Montville, and we were with friends and their son (4 years old) and our granddaughter (also 4 years old). We took a short stroll in the galleries (which are fabulous by the way) and went for lunch. At the end of the day, we took the kids to the playground.
While in the playground, we watched an elderly couple digging something from the bushes.
“What are you digging?” My husband asked.
“We pick dandelions,” they said.
“Dandelions, what for?”
“My mother had lung cancer at the age of 75, and the doctor said they can’t help her. Dandelions cure cancer,” the woman said. “She healed and lived 10 years after… God gave us everything we need; it is all in nature. Don’t listen to doctors — you can heal yourself. All you have to do is pick the dandelion, wash it, dry it, and drink it as tea.”
Our friend immediately went on her phone to check their claim. She just wrote “dandelions and cancer” — and what do you know? The internet was full of information about how dandelion tea, made of the leaf, stem, and flower, has amazing healing properties.
I was shocked! My lawn was full of them. I thought dandelions were weeds.
I suddenly realised — the only reason I saw a “weed” was because someone had once told me that this type of plant didn’t belong. The plant itself had the same properties as always. My label made it a problem. My perception made it unwanted.
It made me realize that there must be so many more things in life that I consider as “trouble,” “annoying,” or “disturbances” that are actually gifts in disguise. I changed my perspective so fast that now, when I see them in my garden, I say to them, “thank you!”
Sometimes the things we call weeds are really quiet teachers waiting for us to notice them.
Ronit Baras
When I took this understanding to my work, I realized that so much of our stress, guilt, and emotional pain comes from the meaning we attach to things — not the things themselves.
When the Problem Isn’t the Problem
As parents, we face many fears and challenges. So many things are weeds we must pull out immediately.
But just like the dandelion, many of these “weeds” are actually messages — quiet signals asking us to slow down and pay attention.
Think of the things you’ve tried to fight or fix lately:
- Feeling tired because we had to get up at night to attend a crying kid
- Feeling sad or flat because we are exhausted
- Feeling overwhelmed because life is full and demanding
- Feeling a failure every time the kids are struggling
- Unhappy with our weight, health or energy
- Wanting time alone even though you love your family
- Losing motivation and wondering what’s “wrong” with you
- Forgetting things because your mind is juggling too much
- Needing a break but feeling guilty about it
What if these moments aren’t failures, flaws, or problems to remove… but invitations?
What if they’re your body and heart whispering, “Something needs attention. Something needs care.”
When the “Weeds” in Your Life Are Actually Messages
As parents, we’re quick to label things as problems — the tiredness, the emotions, the stress, the overwhelm. We look at them the way I used to look at dandelions: unwanted, annoying, something to get rid of. But what if the things we’re trying so hard to “pull out” are actually here to help us?
What if…
- A fever is your child’s immune system saying, “I’m protecting them — let me do my job.”
- Your fatigue is your body whispering, “Please rest. This isn’t weakness — this is wisdom.”
- Your child’s big emotions are not misbehaviour but signals of a heart that still needs help naming and handling feelings.
- Your own emotions — frustration, sadness, overwhelm — are simply your inner world saying, “Something needs attention. Please listen.”
- Your child’s “setback” at school is not a crisis but feedback telling you, “There’s a gap here. Help me fill it.”
- Your urge for space or quiet is not selfishness but a reminder that you’re a human being, not a machine.
- Your forgetfulness or low motivation is not failure but a sign that you’re carrying too much on your mind and heart.
These things are not weeds. They are signals. They are guidance. They are part of the natural ecosystem of being a parent.
The weeds we resist often hold the wisdom we need.
Ronit Baras
And like the dandelion — the plant I used to judge without knowing its value — these moments might contain healing, strength, and growth if we stop fighting them and start learning from them. Sometimes the “weed” is actually a flower trying to teach us something.
Your Life Changes the Moment You Change the Meaning
You can, if you choose, transform your health, your choices, your motivation, your wellbeing and parenting, simply by shifting the way you see what’s happening — not by fighting it harder.
This is not positive thinking. This is not delusion. This is not pretending everything is amazing. This is reframing — the powerful skill of recognizing that there is more than one way to interpret the same event and choosing the perspective that supports your wellbeing.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change.
Ronit Baras
When we change our perspective, our whole body and mind change, because we no longer fight life but embrace it:
- Stress becomes information
- Fatigue becomes wisdom
- Illness becomes communication
- Setbacks become guidance
- Emotions become teachers
- Imperfections become human
And suddenly the things that once drained us now empower us.
Seeing Fever as a Friend, Not an Enemy
Most people panic when they (or their child) get a fever. We’re trained to see it as: dangerous, scary, something to suppress, a sign that something is wrong.
But biologically? A fever is one of the most brilliant protective mechanisms the body has.
- It means your immune system is functioning.
- It means your body has identified a threat and is taking decisive action.
- It means your internal temperature is rising to kill off invaders your body doesn’t want.
In other words: A fever is not a failure — it’s evidenced your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.
A challenge is often just a gift wrapped in uncomfortable packaging.
Ronit Baras
If you change the meaning, your fear drops. Your confidence rises. Your relationship with your body becomes more trusting. That one act of reframing can change your entire healing experience.
What Else in Your Life Is a “Fever” You’re Misunderstanding?
What if the things you’re fighting are actually guiding you? What if the discomfort is simply your inner compass pointing you in the right direction?
What if you practiced reframing the uncomfortable feelings?
- Cravings means “I need emotional support.”
- Fatigue is a sign we need to take “Time to slow down.”
- Guilt for taking time off is replaced with “I care about myself”
- Sadness telling me that “Something needs attention.”
- Anger is realizing “A boundary was crossed.”
- Stress signals to me that “I’m overwhelmed and need a reset.”
- Setbacks is a proof “I’m in the learning phase.”
Even failure — the thing everyone fears — is often the exact feedback you needed to succeed next time.
When you stop attacking yourself and start listening to yourself, everything becomes easier.
Not every problem is an enemy; some are gentle invitations to grow.
Ronit Baras
How to Practice changing Weeds to Flowers
Learning to change in your mind weeds to flowers isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a gentle mental shift — a habit — and like all habits, it becomes easier the more you practice it.
Here’s a simple, powerful method:
Step 1: Pause and Notice Your Automatic Label
We all do this — we experience something uncomfortable and instantly label it.
Ask: “What story am I telling myself about this?”
The labels we give are an indication of the stories we tell ourselves.
For example: Your child has a meltdown at the shops. You label it as “bad behaviour.”
You have a story that this “bad behaviour” is an indication of how horrible parent you are.
- You feel exhausted by 3pm. You label it as “laziness” or “not good enough.” You have as tory that says that you should never be tired and only lazy people or not good enough people are tired and you are afraid of being considered lazy or not good enough person.
- Your partner snaps at you. You label it as “they don’t care.”, You have a story that says that you are in some sort of danger if your partner doesn’t care about you.
- You forget something important. You label it as “I’m so disorganized.” The story you tell yourself is that you might be losing it.
Step 2: Ask, “What else could this mean?”
There is always at least one softer, kinder explanation to the situation. Find it. I believe in the seek and you shall find. It means that your mind always finds what is looking for. If you look for an alternative, you will find it. I promise!
- The meltdown could be “My child is overwhelmed and doesn’t yet know how to express it.”
- The exhaustion means “My body needs rest because I’ve been carrying so much.”
- The snapping is not taken personally “They’re stressed, not unloving.”
- The forgetfulness is simply “My brain is full and needs a break.”
Step 3: Choose the Perspective That Supports Your Wellbeing and parenting confidence
Parents tend to pick the harshest interpretation every single time. They think that if they do, they will be able to protect their children better, but it is not true. This is cruelty. Self-Cruelty, but nevertheless, cruelty. We always have a choice to see weeds as flowers.
- Instead of “I’m a bad parent,” choose: “I’m learning, and so are my kids.”
- Instead of “Everything is going wrong,” choose: “I’m tired. Tomorrow things will look better.”
- Instead of “My child is rude,” choose: “My child needs guidance, not punishment.”
Step 4: Respond With Compassion, Not Criticism
Imagine watering a plant with acid. It wouldn’t grow. But most parents water themselves with harshness every single day. Sadly, some of them water their children with “acid” every day.
Everything grows better when watered gently — including you, your children, your relationships, and your confidence.
- If you’re tired, allow yourself rest.
- If your child struggles, guide, don’t shame.
- If your partner is overwhelmed, support, don’t assume.
- If you make a mistake, forgive, then adjust.
If we learn to see the ‘weeds’ in our life differently, we discover they were healing flowers all along.
Ronit Baras
You Don’t Need a New Life — You Need New Eyes
Life will always include weeds. Stress will still come. Emotions will rise. Motivation will fluctuate. Imperfections will always be part of the journey.
But if you learn to look again…if you learn to see differently…those weeds might become your greatest teachers, your cure. Some may even turn out to be flowers you didn’t know you needed.
If you need support to turn weeds to flowers in your life and your parenting contact me.
Wishing you lots of gratitude.
Hugs,
Ronit
