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Home » Family Matters » Babies / Maternity » Baby’s Sex – To know or not to know (poll)

Baby’s Sex – To know or not to know (poll)

BabyFor my mom, the sex of the first baby was very important. Where she grew up (in Iran, ages ago), first born sons brought a lot of pride to the family and even in those old days, there were many ways to discover the sex of the baby.

Only when I got pregnant for the first time, I learned about all those beliefs and traditions:

  • If you are pretty during your pregnancy, it means you will have a boy (because girls take away your beauty)
  • If you hold your necklace with your wedding ring hanging from it and the ring moves in circles, you will have a girl
  • If you touch your nose after someone sprinkles salt on your head (without your knowledge), you will have a boy (because he will grow a mustache under his nose), but if you touch your eyebrows, you will have a girl

It was so funny, I thought back then I could do a PhD thesis on the beliefs surrounding the sex of babies.

Somehow, my story was a bit more complicated. Everyone said I had a boy (because of my head, my butt and my beautiful hair during the pregnancy) and I never argued. When I had the first ultrasound, I asked the doctor about the sex of my baby, but he could not tell, because it was too early or the position was not comfortable or something.

For about 7 months, I thought I had a boy, not that it mattered, until one weekend, I went to visit a relative and met her mom, who was an old woman from Iraq. She walked up to me, touched my belly and asked me “Would you like to know what you have?” I smiled. I “knew” I had a boy, but I was curious to discover another traditional way to tell.

“Sure”, I said.

“You have a girl”, she said confidently.

“How do you know?” I asked her.

“I was a midwife in Iraq and I can tell by your belly button. I helped deliver thousands or babies and I’ve never been wrong”.

I went home smiling. There was a conflict between all the other predictions (boy) and the Iraqi midwife’s (girl).

UltrasoundTwo weeks later, I went to the hospital, thinking my water had broken. The woman who did the ultrasound thought my baby was too big, which could indicate a developmental problem.

“Would you like to know the babies’ sex?” she asked.

“Sure”, I said, curious to know what modern medicine would predict.

“You have a girl”, she said. I did not know what to think.

However, the doctor was not very happy with that technician’s measurements and said to me, “Come back tomorrow. The other technician here is very professional and I would like her do the measurements again. By the way, if she says it’s a girl, it will be accurate”.

So I came the next day, hoping the measurements were not accurate and my baby was not too big. The other technician said everything looked fine and “Yes, you have a baby girl”.

After almost 8 months of thinking I had a boy, I had to come to terms with the idea that I had a girl (which did not take too long, because I was happy either way).

In the evening, I called my mom and said on the phone with lots of excitement, “Mom, I had another ultrasound today and I have a baby girl”.

And my mum replied, “Never mind. It’s not so bad”.

I always knew my mom thought that having a first son was the best thing. Her first was a girl and in the culture she grew up in having a first daughter was a sign of weakness (I am so happy I was not born then and there).

I think that more than having a first son, which is a tradition of cultures that puts the responsibility on the first born to take care of the family and his aging parents, the desire to have children from both sexes is greater. When my first was born, I did not mind at all about the sex. With the second pregnancy, I wanted it to be a different sex to allow me to experience both sexes.

Knowing your babies’ sex is a debate that I hear many times. Some say it does not matter, that it cannot be changed anyway and it needs to be a surprise, just like nature meant it to be. Others say it is better to know in advance. For them, you cannot change it anyway, so it is better to know and prepare for yourself. If it is what you wanted, cool, you can be happy months before. If not, you can prepare yourself and get used to the idea.

Cute babyMy mom thought she should comfort me for having a baby girl (as a first born) and that I should not have asked to know the baby’s sex. I guess she thought the disappointment is not as great when you already see your baby and hold her in your arms (or maybe when you are partially sedated).

So, if you or your partner were pregnant and the doctor asked you during an ultrasound check if you would like to know the sex of your baby, what would you say?

Would you like to know the sex of your baby?

Results

Please tell us why in the comment box below.

Regardless of their sex, I hope you have fun with your kids,
Ronit

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June 21, 2010 by Ronit Baras In: Babies / Maternity Tags: baby / babies, beliefs, choice, family matters, family planning, poll, practical parenting / parents, pregnancy

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Comments

  1. Eleni says

    September 20, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    I like surprises and there are few true surprises in life.

    Reply
    • ronitbaras says

      October 15, 2011 at 10:05 PM

      As you can see on the poll, some people prefer surprises. 

      Reply
  2. Ronit Baras says

    July 29, 2010 at 8:51 PM

    Hi Susan,

    I think in the good old days, the real old, my mum old, they couldn’t tell the sex and people learned to live with it. They said we are having a baby, because that was the only thing the knew about the new edition to the family.

    I am sure every edition makes the parents happy

    Happy day
    Ronit

    Reply
  3. Ronit Baras says

    July 29, 2010 at 5:51 PM

    Hi Rob,

    It is wonderful you and your wife agreed on this.

    Ronit

    Reply
  4. Ronit Baras says

    July 29, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    Miss Platnum,

    I feel the same about that.

    Ronit

    Reply
  5. Ronit Baras says

    June 23, 2010 at 8:27 PM

    Rob,

    Having a healthy child is much more important than knowing his gender.
    I think when you have kids from both genders, than it does not matter as much as someone having 4 girls or 4 boys.

    regardless of their gender, you love them very much.

    Reply
  6. Ronit Baras says

    June 23, 2010 at 8:19 PM

    Samslan,

    It is funny but we had the same ritual.
    I was pregnant with my first and the ring said that I will have a girl, boy and a girl and it worked for me.

    I find all those rituals fascinating.
    some people find it hard dealing with uncertainty that they come up with many rituals. It is amazing

    Reply
  7. Rob FitzGerald says

    June 22, 2010 at 4:31 AM

    My wife and I have 3 children and we were surprised each and every time. Our feeling was that there are so few “true” surprises in life (that can be considered no-brainer good) that that was the way we wanted to go. We wanted happy amnd healthy and not else mattered.

    We first had a daughter and I remember crying at the pure joy of learning I had a baby girl, the anticipation was intense. Our second child was a boy and the joy was just as intense but different at the same time because we knew we were fortunate to now have one of each gender. Our 3rd (and last by the way – thank you very much) was also a boy and the surprise and excitement was just as good as the first.

    I think the way we did it worked for us – we really liked the whole not knowing deal, even talking about – “ah, maybe we should find out” completely knowing we wouldn’t. We wouldn’t change it for anything.

    Reply
  8. Smslån says

    June 21, 2010 at 7:08 PM

    Hahaha… those old beliefs are quite funny. There’s a similar belief from where I came that is a ring tied to a string and then held over the pregnant woman’s belly. Circles meant a baby girl too. :D For me it’s better to know the sex of the child so that the parents can better prepare when the child is born.

    Reply
  9. E says

    June 21, 2010 at 4:55 PM

    I would love to know the gender of my baby when he/she/they come. I guess I don’t deal too well with the not knowing. I think it also gives me that chance to picture them as I want them to be.

    Reply
    • ronitbaras says

      October 15, 2011 at 10:06 PM

      I was the same! 

      Imagining my babies. 

      Reply
  10. Susan Segal says

    June 21, 2010 at 3:34 PM

    When I was just 12 weeks pregnant with my second child the Ob/Gyn asked if I was sure about the dates, he thought my uterus was too big for 12 weeks. As I had always had very regular periods, I told him there could be no mistake; he then dropped the bombshell, “is there a history of twins in your family”. We were just about to relocate to Canberra and it took another 6 weeks before I could find a new Ob/Gyn in Canberra and book an ultersound. The technician then told me that could not give me the results, my doctor was the only one who could tell me. It was at this point that I considered asking the sex. I already had on son aged 5 and I thought that if I was having twin boys I might need time to prepare myself both physically and emotionally. It was really the only time I wanted to know the sex but as it turned out, it was only one baby so I bother asking. How I got the technician to leak the news without waiting another 4 weeks for my next Ob/Gyn appointment was that I told him there was a twin stroller in the second hand shop on the corner and should I go now and buy it (there were rare to find second hand back in the days before IVF). He said not to rush into it. My son and his wife asked not to be told the sex when they were expecting. This seems unusual these days. Many of my friends tell me they are expecting a son or a daughter, not a baby as was the case in back in the good old days.

    Reply
    • ronitbaras says

      October 15, 2011 at 10:08 PM

      Susan 

      Good tip. 
      Now they tell you if they can. 
      It is so sophisticated these days. You can see the baby in 3D. 

      Hugs
      Ronit 

      Reply

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