Last week, in Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 1), I wrote about the definition of self-esteem. This week, let us explore how school promotes low self-esteem in children and shapes our society in the opposite way.
Since our self-esteem is based on our perception of ourselves and school is the place we spend most of our time between the ages of 6 and 12, every school experience either increases or decreases our self-esteem.
I believe that every parent wants their kids to have high self-esteem, so I have decided to publish a few posts over the coming weeks about self-esteem, what it is and how to increase it, so every parent reading this will be able to help their kids develop this very important emotional strength.
So first, what is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is a reflection of a person’s overall appraisal of their own worth
In other words, self-esteem is the score each person gives their abilities and skills.
Read What Is Self Esteem? »
In coaching, we go through a process of re-evaluating our life, cleaning out old beliefs, throwing away disempowering ones and polishing the beautiful, empowering ones.
Once, I had a session with one of my clients, in which we discussed how much she should charge for her services. I think we all wonder about that when we interview for a new job, or when we meet a new client. How much will I be paid? How much am I worth?
My answer for this is always the same: You are worth whatever you think you are worth.
Read What Am I Worth? »
Kids are like fish. No, not because they are pretty and cute (although they are pretty and cute) but because their ability to grow depends on their environment, much like fish.
Did you know that fish will grow to the size that will be supported by their surroundings?
If you put a fish in a small bowl, it will grow to fit the size of the bowl. If you take the same fish into a small pond, it will grow bigger. If you move it to a lake, the same fish can grow to be big, really big.
Kids also have this fishy characteristic. For them, life is a fish bowl and they depend on the grown ups in their life to find a good size bowl to call home. They also depend on the grown ups in their life to “clean the water” and supply them with “food”.
Read Kids are Like Fish »
In a research done in 1971 by Gergen, he found that there are four things that need to happen for us to accept a message:
1. Authority: The person who is giving the message needs to be in a position to do that – knowledgeable, experienced, in power
2. Familiarity: The person who is giving the message is presented as someone close to us who knows us well – family, friend…
What we think about ourselves is what we call our “Self Concept”. If you want to discover yours, simply ask yourself: Who am I?
This seemingly simple question is big, really big. Of course, your answers may be different, but most people include: social roles, physical appearance, health, relationships, location, achievements and skills.
How do we form this self concept?
Read Who Am I? »
There are two parts to making a change from using a negative language to a positive one. The first is to understand how we were programmed to use negative language in our life. We talk about what we are not happy about and we express disappointment and frustration instead of saying what we feel, need and want.
The second part of making the change is to do something different and practice doing it until it becomes the new habit.
To help you make the change, here are some rules you need to remember.
We all like watching “Heroes” on TV and reading books about strong or creative people who have done things others did not expect them to do. Hearing, reading about or meeting such people is very motivating. Heroism is the courage to face fears, therefore fear and heroes go together.
Fear is a basic human emotion that works like a survival instinct. In a sense, fear helps protect us from danger, though it has reached a point where we see danger even in places where it does not exist.
Read Heroes »
I was sitting in the most wonderful place in the world – on the beach of Koh Samui in Thailand. My daughter was almost seven years old and my was just one yea old and was running on the beach naked. As the two of them were building sand castles, I learned the first thing I want my kids to know.
A 60 year-old man approached us and told us this story.
Following the announcement of her book “In the Outback with Jasmine Banks”, here is an interview with Ronit Baras about this inspiring story of a young woman’s personal journey to freedom.
Read Interview with Ronit Baras on Her New Book "In the Outback with Jasmine Banks" »
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