Family MattersPractical Parenting Blog

Top Parenting Bloggers Discuss (12): Parenting Boys and Girls

Gender is no doubt a huge factor in parenting. Many parents would like to know their baby’s gender before it is born, because gender matters to them. In our society, the role of girls and women is different from the role of boys and men. It is hard to ignore these roles and treat kids equally, because in the eyes of our society they are not equal.

So what should we do? Should we parent our kids differently if they are boys or girls or should we treat them just the same?

Research on people’s attitude towards boys and girls has found that parents and adults generally treat boys and girls differently even when they are just babies. In a famous research done with a group of babies that were dressed in pink or blue (without any relation to their real gender) the researchers discovered that the pink babies (presumably the girls) were picked up more by the adults and received more eye contact than the blue babies (presumably the boys).

How do you think this translates to parenting?

This post is part 12 of 14 in the series Top Parenting Bloggers Discuss

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People Change

When you read the title “people change”, you might be thinking, “Well, of course they do”, but very often, when you are very close to another person for a long time, these changes are difficult to notice. On the other hand, sometimes it is not the other person who changes, but us, and that just changes the way we see them.

When we start a long-term relationship, we are so intent on making it work that we overlook things we would prefer to be different “as long as we’re happy together”, but the discomfort caused by those overlooked things grows over time to the point where we suddenly notice them. One day, we are surprised to discover for the first time something our partner has been doing or saying for years. All that time, we dismissed it in different ways (“bad mood”, “something at work”, “didn’t really understand”, “only joking”, etc), but now, we look at “this thing” head on and think our partner has changed.

In a strange sort of way, the things that attracted us to that special person in the first place can become annoying over time, until we determine that the person has changed. We also get used to good things (annoying, but natural), which makes us take the good side of any character trait or behavior for granted, while getting more and more upset with the bad side.

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"F" Words

Now that my birthday is approaching, I wish to bless myself and all my readers with many “F” words.

Yes, I know many people feel offended by being blessed with the “F” word, but I think it is actually Fun.

As a parent, you probably think many times about kids’ manners. For some reason, there is too much attention (in my opinion) to kids using swear words. You see, saying the word “F” has become a rude word. It is not the word that is offensive (what can be offensive about the letter “F”?). It is the meaning people give it.

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TV Diet (13): Raising Aware Kids

Being the home TV police officer is not a fun at all and nobody can survive being one for long. At some stage, you will need to make sure your kids have enough understanding and awareness to regulate their own TV consumption.

I remember realizing this when my daughter Eden was 4. She was sensitive to dairy food and I was a very good dairy police officer (I had no guilt feelings, because eating dairy food meant she would get pneumonia). Eden went to kindergarten and I knew that although I wrote on the admission forms “No dairy food”, she would take food from other kids. This is when I knew I needed to teach her to be aware and understand why she needed to restrict herself.

The TV diet works the same way. Your kids will be exposed to TV more than you think and certainly more than you can control. All my kids have come home at times with details about TV shows I have never allowed them to watch. This is the reason raising aware kids is better than fighting this on your own.

This post is part 13 of 18 in the series TV Diet

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Happiness and Sorrow Boxes

Figures showing happiness and sorrow

This is a story about what to do with the happiness and sorrow in our life. I hope you like it.

At birth, God gave Adam two simple-looking gray boxes.

God said, “In one box, you will put all the wonderful moments of your life – the pleasures, the joys, the laughter and everything that makes you happy”.

“What about the second box?”

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TV Diet (6): Disposable relationships

Last week, I wrote about the relationship breakdown between parents and kids as a result of watching too much TV. Today, I cover the influence of TV on couples’ relationships, on the divorce rate and on the breakdown of the family structure.

Two years ago, I wrote about the rising divorce rate in the world. What triggered this article was my parents’ 48th anniversary. This year, my parents celebrate their 50th anniversary and I am very proud of them, but because I work with kids and couples, I am concerned about many others.

I believe the kind of exposure on TV to disposable relationships is making it harder for parents, as well as couples without children, to keep their family structure alive and well.

If you want to understand how concerning the statistics is, here are some marriage statistics.

This post is part 6 of 18 in the series TV Diet

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Make a list: Things to tell my parents

Some people shiver when I tell them about this task. If you have had a chance to read my earlier post about divorcing your parents, you know that, as sad as this may be, too many people do not have good relationships with their parents. And you know what? This is not good! No matter how horrible our parents might be (or rather how horrible we perceive them to be), this relationship does not stop to exist because we do not like it. It continues to influence us in a sad and bad way.

This post is part 11 of 49 in the series Make a List

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Make a list: What I like about me

One of my clients, who was very critical about herself, was very surprised when I asked her “What do you like about yourself?” She thought about it for a long time before she found something nice to say about herself and you know what, it is hard to blame her.

This post is part 8 of 49 in the series Make a List

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100 Ways to Say “I Love You!”

Giving flowers is a great way to say "I love you"

There are many ways to say “I love you” to someone – partner, children, family members and friends. But as you may know, not all of them are as effective. That’s simply because people are different. So here’s how to come up with 100 ways to say “I love you” and choose the best one for each person.

As you probably know, love is one of the most wonderful feelings. Some people claim there are only two feelings: love and fear. Every good thing in life is a form of love and all the bad things are forms of fear. A stronger version of this only recognizes one feeling: love. All the rest (fear, anger, sadness, etc) is lack of love.

Voltaire said, “Love is a canvas pattern furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination”. Whether you define love as the ultimate feeling or just an important one, there is no doubt that being loved and loving can make us the happiest ever.

This post is part 7 of 49 in the series Make a List

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Make a list: Childhood Memories

This series about list making revolves around the idea of using lists to examine our life and our perception and to highlight the good things in life. This lets us can enjoy them, appreciate them and be happy.

In this post, I want to explain the importance of remembering. I did write “good childhood memories” in the original list of lists, but I think that the mere act of remembering, even if we recall some bad memories, helps in our personal growth.

It is funny that when I mention memories, people go to the past and start digging. Some people find it hard to remember childhood experiences. For some, the past is more vivid, while for others, it is vague and unclear. Some remember what happened and others only remember what they felt about what happened.

This post is part 6 of 49 in the series Make a List

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