Are Your Kids All The Same?

Kids in every family are different and this is a fact. Sometimes, when you try to find the formula for a certain behavior, it is hard to take one type of behavior from one kid and expect it from another one. You can’t even expect twins to behave the same because of a different dynamic between them and the different reaction of society towards them.

Many parents find it challenging to deal with different kids in the house because of the expectation that kids all behave the same.

Many parents in my parent coaching program talk about the differences in their kids’ behavior. I explain that the reason they have difficulties has nothing to do with the kids but something to do with the parents. Kids are not supposed to behave the same.

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14 Ways to Teach Your Kids Resilience

As much as we would like to defend our kids from the difficulties in life, from experiencing crisis, change or loss, we cannot! However, we can give our kids the tools to recover from difficult times when those hit.

Many people say to me, “They are just kids. What horrible things can possibly happens to them?”

My answer is, “Let’s not wait to find out”.

For children, what seems like a simple thing might be a horrible problem. We have good friends whose 18-year-old son took a gun and shot himself in the head because he was not accepted to the course he wanted.

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Research Says: Friends Improve Sibling Relationships

Family Matters says: your attitude can improve them even more.

In psychological studies, the age gap between siblings is very important and is used to explain many behaviors and relationships. Can you imagine yourself lying on the shrink’s sofa and complaining about your brother who came into your life too early and took all the attention away from you?

In a research published by the Journal of Family Psychology, Dr. Laurie Kramer, professor of applied family studies at the University of Illinois, followed 28 sibling pairs from the age of 4 to adolescence and found that “a child’s socialization with friends before the arrival of a sibling can predict a more positive relationship between the siblings”.

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How To Help Your Fat Kid Stop Being Overweight

Overweight child eating cupcake with blue icing

If you have a “fat” or overweight child, you know they suffer a lot from some associated problems. Many grownups carry feelings of self-loathing and self-disappointment following the negative treatment they got during their younger years.

Being fat is not only about what we eat. It’s also about what makes us eat more than what our body requires. A fat kid almost always suffers from low self-image too.

Overweight kids need a healthy, balanced eating plan, together with an emotional plan, which doesn’t damage their self-image any further.

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What Are You Saying to Your Teens?

A couple of clients came to me for parent coaching because of a problem they had with their teen boy, and were very surprised when we went through Pink Elephants. They said, “We tell him every day NOT to hang around bad kids, but saying it only puts the focus on those kids we want him to stay away from”.

The day after our session, the mother sent me this email:

“Dear Ronit, You won’t believe what happened after we left our session last night. I was home for 3 minutes and so many Pink Elephants came out of my mouth… It’s so hard!”

It is hard. I agree.

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Change: Let Go of Your “‘Bananas”!

How do you trap a big monkey in a small cage the size of a banana? Easy! You place a banana inside the cage and leave an opening large enough for the monkey’s hand, but not for the banana.

As soon as the monkey grabs the banana, it is trapped! The monkey can set itself free if it lets go of the banana, but it won’t. By not giving up what it has in its hand, it locks itself just outside the tiny cage.

People are the same – we hold many “bananas” that keep us trapped in little “cages” – because we just won’t let go.

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Beliefs and Where They Come From

Every person in the universe is searching for happiness. Our thoughts about ourselves, our self esteem, are part of that one “map” that everyone is looking for, the one we think fits us all. But we all have different experiences and mindsets. Therefore, we each use a different map to guide us to our own happiness.

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How to Choose a Day Care Center?

Little girl at the kindergarten sand pit

Choosing a day care center for our kids requires self-testing. No doubt, the right choice can determine our kids’ happiness and can, in time, save us a great deal of energy and heartache when we move them from one place to another.

When you choose any day care center (I have to say I would not use the term “day care” because any place, which takes care of kids, needs to provide a lot more than just care. It needs to be a loving, nurturing, happy place), it is very important to make sure the center’s philosophy matches the parents’ philosophy.

A conflict between the two will always be reflected in the kids’ behaviour. Many behaviour problems of kids in the early years and even during school years are a reflection of the conflict between their parents and the system.

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Are Your Ready?

It all started when our daughter Eden was a year and a half old. She had Pneumonia and high fever and she wheezed all day.

After one dose of Antibiotics (by the way, 18 years ago, it was every 6 hours, even if it meant waking her up at night), we had about a week or two off and the wheezing started again.

First kid, young parents, we went straight to see our baby specialist. He was the head of the Pediatric Ward at our local hospital and we went to his private clinic every time something happened.

About 4 months later, we found ourselves in his private clinic again. It was Pneumonia the fourth time. During that time, Eden had red, dry cheeks, high fever (every time she was not on any medication) and wheezing, wheezing all day.

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How School Promotes Low Self Esteem

Last week, in Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 1), I wrote about the definition of self-esteem. This week, let us explore how school promotes low self-esteem in children and shapes our society in the opposite way.

Since our self-esteem is based on our perception of ourselves and school is the place we spend most of our time between the ages of 6 and 12, every school experience either increases or decreases our self-esteem.

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