The Emotional Cost of FOMO: How Fear of Missing Out Steal Your Happiness
Why I Wrote This Article
I decided to write about FOMO (Fear of missing out) because I’ve seen it quietly affect adults as much as teenagers — parents, grandparents, professionals, anyone who scrolls through social media or compares themselves to others.
We all want our children to be happy, successful, and confident, but sometimes, we forget to nurture our own sense of contentment. FOMO steals your happiness and I want to help you recognize FOMO understand its impact, and take practical steps to reclaim joy, confidence, and peace of mind.
Fear of missing out is envy wrapped in anxiety
Ronit Baras
What Is FOMO Really?
Though FOMO feels like recent slang, the fear of missing out has been around for generations. At its core, FOMO is a fear that others have more than you, experience more than you, or live “better” lives. FOMO is envy wrapped in anxiety, a sense that you’re somehow not enough compared to others — their successes, their experiences, their possessions.
Fear of missing out sounds cool. It was added to the dictionary only in 2013 and the acronym FOMO is just a wonderful way to hide the fact that fear of missing out is in fact… fear and a form of anxiety.
FOMO can kill confidence and leave you feeling dissatisfied with yourself. Even in biblical times, envy and the fear of missing out caused tension and conflict.
The term FOMO was first formally introduced by Dr. Dan Herman in 1996 in a marketing research paper. Back then, this fear of missing out was mostly triggered by people around you. Today, with social media, reality TV, and constant online exposure, FOMO has grown exponentially. Suddenly, we see millions of people living seemingly “perfect” lives, making it impossible not to compare ourselves.
How FOMO Sneaks into Our Lives
Think about marketing strategies. The concept of “loss aversion” is closely related to Fear of missing out: our minds prefer avoiding losses more than acquiring equivalent gains. That’s why trials, rebates, and limited-time offers work so well — they tap into our fear of missing out.
FOMO is a form of anxiety. It pushes us into comparison mode, whether with someone else, our younger self, or an imagined future self. This comparison can affect everyday decisions, like spending money we don’t have, overcommitting our time, or stressing about things that don’t truly matter.
Why Social Media Makes It Worse
Living in a small town in the past, our envy was limited to those around us. Today, the world is a “small village” online. Everyone seems to have more money, more freedom, better relationships, more fun than we do and dear Lord, they all look so beautiful, forever young with silky smooth skin and long lashes. You scroll through Facebook, see a friend on vacation, a parent whose child seems perfect, a colleague’s promotion, or a stranger’s achievements — and suddenly, your life feels lacking.
Even minor things, like diet struggles, can trigger the fear of missing out. If you’ve ever been on a diet, you know the temptation of the cake, ice cream, or hamburger you’re “missing out” on. FOMO can push us to make unhealthy choices because the fear of missing out feels stronger than our long-term goals.
Overnight Success and Its Illusion
Another major contributor to FOMO is the illusion of overnight success. Social media, YouTube, and viral stories make it seem like people achieve greatness effortlessly. But in reality, success takes years of dedication.
I’ve seen this firsthand with my son, a successful musician. People often called him “lucky,” but they didn’t see the years of early morning rehearsals, consistent practice, helping others, and countless hours of effort. No one ever truly becomes an overnight success — and thinking they do, only fuels FOMO and discouragement.
Every FOMO moment is essentially a tiny emotional hijack.
Ronit Baras
The Science Behind FOMO
Research shows a direct correlation between social media use and increased the fear of missing out, which in turn leads to unhappiness, impulsive behavior, and decreased executive function. The more time we spend online, the more sensitive we become to comparisons, and the less capable we are of self-regulation.
FOMO triggers the primitive brain — fight, flight, or freeze mode — which can make us highly impulsive, easily influenced, and vulnerable to marketing tactics. Every FOMO moment is essentially a tiny emotional hijack.
Researchers found a direct correlation between the use of social media, increased FOMO and increase unhappiness and inappropriate behavior (and sometimes dangerous behavior)
The research claims that the more people use smart phones and social media, the more sensitive they are to what others think about them and do not activate executive functions that support self-esteem, confidence, and justice.
Again, the definition of what is right and what is wrong is disturbed. This is true for children and increasingly true for adults using social media more and more.
Recognizing Your FOMO Triggers
The first step to overcoming the fear of missing out is awareness. Ask yourself:
What triggers my FOMO?
Does this make me feel empowered or anxious?
Am I measuring my life against their full story, or just the highlight reel they choose to show?”
For many, social media is the largest trigger. Social media and use of technology were found to increase FOMO which works like a double sword. The more we use technology, the more FOMO we have and as a result, we use even more technology. Catch 22. Beware!
Friends or acquaintances may also unknowingly trigger feelings of inadequacy with constant bragging or curated updates. To manage it, distinguish between genuine pride (which can inspire you) and bragging meant for comparison (which feeds the fear of missing out).
FOMO makes you… a wallet.
Personal development is the best cure for FOMO and especially contentment and gratitude. When we see others succeeding and use them as inspiration, rather than a source of envy, we don’t think of ourselves as inadequate but understand that with effort comes success.
Much like every other change we need to develop awareness. Notice when you have the fear of missing out. In that state, you can’t make sane, just and educated decisions. You become a “wallet” and people can sell you anything. Yes, read it again, the more FOMO You have, the more you are a “Wallet” for those who wants to sell you something.
It is important to understand that FOMO is used as a marketing tool. Envy makes you an easy buyer. If they tell you that everyone, has it, only you don’t, they can make you buy things you never meant to. None of us is immune to it.
So, every time you feel a FOMO, you are used!
5 Practical tips to Step Out of FOMO
Below are 5 practical tips to help you step out of the FOMO zone and increase your sense of adequacy.
FOMO can’t reside where satisfaction does
Ronit Baras
Tip # 1 to overcome FOMO – Distance Yourself from Triggers
Limit exposure to people or social media feeds that make you feel inadequate.
Surround yourself with genuine, supportive friends and family. Focus on real connection, with real people, real relationships. A handful of people thinking you are awesome, as you are, are better for your health and wellbeing than fake connection that all you see is their “presentation” on Facebook or Instagram.
Tip # 2 to overcome FOMO – Reflect on Your Own Values
Ask yourself what truly matters in your life. (if you need help refining this, go to www.behappyinlife.com where you can work with me on this quest to find what really matters to you and how to live a FOMO free life based on your own values)
Focus on your goals and accomplishments rather than others’.
Tip # 3 to overcome FOMO – Build Your Internal GPS
Follow your own definition of right and wrong.
Let your values, experiences, and personal goals guide decisions — not comparisons.
Tip # 4 to overcome FOMO – Practice Contentment
The best way to understand contentment is to consider the opposite. Whenever we compare ourselves, when we complain, critical, jealous of others or our earlier self (I wish I was 16 years old), judgmental, we don’t experience this peace of mind that comes with contentment.
FOMO can’t reside where satisfaction does.
While contentment says, “I’m happy and satisfied with what I have” Fear of missing out says “it is not enough, I’m not happy because I’m too focused on what I don’t have”.
There is an exercise I give my clients who have a severe fear of missing out. I think you could benefit from it too.
Take a paper and write all the things you don’t have, the things that you have a FOMO about and for every item you write, write 3 things you have. It’ll change the balance. If you can’t find 3, think harder. You have hundreds of things you are happy and satisfied with, you just weren’t aware of them.
Since I’m a teacher and I love giving homework, here is another one for you.
Every night, write in a journal (and yes, write, by hand, piece of paper, not screen) 3 things you are happy about your life, your skills, ability, possession, experiences… Within 3 weeks of doing it, you shift from FOMO to satisfaction.
In simple words: Contentment is satisfaction with what you have. It’s about recognizing your achievements and appreciating your life. When you focus on contentment, FOMO has no space to thrive.
Choose JOMO (Joy of missing out) instead of FOMO (fear of missing out) to clear some space and live life on your terms
Ronit Baras
Tip # 5 to overcome FOMO – Cultivate Gratitude
While contentment is appreciating what you have, gratitude is the ability to see good, even in the presence of lack. It is the ability to see half full glass, when the empty one is definitely there. Gratitude is the ability to shift the mind from lack, from jealousy to appreciation of what we have and are able to do.
Gratitude was used to bring abundance to life even in biblical times. The expression of gratitude in a blessing following the rule that in life, you get what you focus on. If you are grateful for the food on the table, you are more likely to have food on the table. (And if you are focusing on what you don’t have, you are more likely to have that too).
All traditions and religious have gratitude ceremonies. All of them scare the FOMO away. In the Jewish traditions, people say a gratitude prayer for everything they do. They say a gratitude prayer when they get up in the morning, when they sit down to eat, when they go to the toilet, before they wash their hands, before they have sex and before they go to sleep. This puts them in an abundance state where they are constantly appreciating what they have.
If you find it challenging to implement these strategies, personalized coaching can provide guidance, accountability, and support. I work with families and individuals to navigate the fear of missing out, strengthen self-esteem, and nurture emotional resilience. Learn more about how I can help you at www.behappyinlife.com.
JOMO: Joy of Missing Out
By replacing FOMO with JOMO, you embrace life on your terms. You make decisions rooted in joy, not anxiety, and experience satisfaction even when skipping trends, events, or online hype.
FOMO can’t take away your inner peace — but it can if you let it. By focusing on contentment, gratitude, and your personal journey, you reclaim your confidence and joy.
Yes! to missing out on heartache and pain
Fear of missing out is not just a trend. FOMO is a modern emotional trap affecting parents, grandparents, and professionals alike. Recognizing its triggers, stepping away from comparison, and practicing contentment and gratitude are practical steps to reclaim your happiness.
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