Family Matters

Posts Tagged ‘video’

This weekend, Ronit and I went with the kids to Sea World. The weather was beautiful, we took our time and we only visited our favorite attractions. One of these was the dolphin show, featuring several of these magnificent creatures and their acrobatic abilities.

I came out of this show with two things on my mind:

1. It reminded me of a game we played during my life coaching course, which I would like to play with you and you can play with your kids

2. I saw highly intelligent creatures being reduced to performing pets through the overuse of immediate fish rewards, which I have seen many parents do too (not with fish, but you get the idea)

In January, I announced about my New Year resolution to fight the “too late” mentality by learning to play the piano.

The most wonderful thing that came out of it was that I have discovered many adults like me who are learning to play a musical instrument at a later stage in life. I was very happy to know I was not alone. It did not make it easier to learn and practice, but it helped me cope with my struggles.

Last time, after just two lessons, I knew it was going to be a challenge and it was, but every time I played, I felt very proud of myself.

I decided I would have my own concert at home, in front of the camera, so my family on the other side of the world, and you, would be able to watch me play.

From time to time, being so involved with parents and parenting, people send us stories and video clips about special parents who truly go above and beyond what most people would do for their kids. It makes me wonder about what parents are made of.

Imagine you are in the delivery room, having your baby boy. You are overjoyed, until the doctor examines him. You already know something is not right and then you hear this, “I’m terribly sorry, but your son was born with no eyes and with a certain debilitating problem in the joints that will make his movements very limited”.

If you are feeling the urge to get up and run for your life, away from the enormous burden of dependence, struggle and hopelessness, please stop for the next 6 minutes and see how a special pair of parents, especially the father, have handled such a fate and turned it around into the most inspiring story of dedication and triumph over the odds.

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in High School by telling them the difference each of them had made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First, she told each of them how they had made a difference to her, and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon, imprinted with gold letters, which read, “Who I Am Makes a Difference.”

Afterwards, the teacher decided to do a class project, to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a Community. She gave each student three more blue ribbons, and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom, and report to the class in about a week.

For over six month, I have had a note posted here on the shelf over my computer. The note says, “Give me 20 good reasons”. All this time, I knew what I wanted to write, but I was not sure I would be able to go through the “open heart surgery” of telling you about my loss. I think I was building up the confidence to write about it.

Whenever I asked myself what I was afraid of, I knew I was scared of dragging myself again through old emotions of loss and hopelessness. I had been there twice and the feelings had faded but not disappeared.

This sticky note on my shelf is what made me write the posts about my loss.

My daughter Noff (the youngest girl in the photo) is a very inspiring kid, especially since growing up in a house with two very talented siblings is not easy.

This is the story of how Noff composed her first piece of music at the age of 8, with very little knowledge and a lot of ingenuity, and how she continually uses her older brother and sister not as competition but as inspiration to stretch herself and do the best she can in every area.

The world is full of different people, with whom we have relationships of varying closeness and intimacy. More often than not, we find ourselves in conversation with someone wanting to say something, but saying something completely different, because saying what we think would produce the wrong results. This even happens with our partner sometimes, not to mention the kids.

Ronit and I think often about communication styles as a useful model for improving human relationships and developing kids. As a family, we are lucky to have all the communication styles (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Digital) represented in different combinations in the members of our family.

Caring about others is a great quality and requires a high emotional intelligence. Being able to get out of ourselves and see things from a different point of view is a useful ability and can probably help us communicate and relate better to others. However…

I met Amir this year when we both worked for the “together for humanity” organization in Australia. He had black skin and spoke broken English. In the presentation we did together, he told the kids he was from Africa. It is amazing, but most of us in the organization are either educators or social workers. Amir was only in his first year of study for his Social Work degree. As part of the program, he talked to the kids about being “black” and suffering for it. I did not know quite what he meant when he said “suffering”.