Our teacher, Reuben, said that although we felt small and helpless sometimes, we were strong and if we kept focusing on making "just a small difference" every day, we would create big change over time.

When we suffered personally for representing other students (and that happened often), he said, "Leaders are there to protect and be the voice of those they lead. To become leaders, you first need to change your closest circle". The way he described it, to be a leaders, you need to have a sense of justice, to be caring, resilient and courageous, to be creative and to have social skills (funny, he said nothing about being good at Math).

For years later, I wondered about my role as a leader. Even during my military service and my higher education, I was at the center representing the weak. I took my high school experience and turned it into a profession. Special Education was my way of representing those who were different. Every day, enhancing the lives of many kids, I lived my purpose of making a difference.

When my first daughter was born, I put a lot of effort and thought (and fun) into parenting her. I realized that parenting was another way of living this purpose and making this world a better place. Every new thing she learned, every time she was just and considerate, every time she was open and accepting, I walked like a proud peacock that through her, I would keep making a difference, even years after I depart.

When my "making a difference" tank was quite full from making a difference to my own world (teaching, coaching and parenting are great and fast ways to fill this tank), suddenly it was not good enough anymore. It seemed small and insufficient. I wanted to make a difference in my daughters' life so she could make a difference in her world and inspire others to make a difference too and the cycle will never end.

This year, when visiting schools around Australia with the "Together for Humanity" program, I found out that kids, both primary and high school age, feel helpless in about making a difference in the world around them even in their immediate environment of home, school and friends. We run a workshop about the power of working together and the importance of making a difference and, although the kids understand, they have no idea how they can make a difference in their life. Depressing, isn't it?

I think our job as parents is to convince our kids that they can (for the complete parents' job description, see over 400 posts on this blog)! Every day! I believe we need to show our kids that if they start focusing on themselves and on what they can do in their daily life to make a change, they will be able to make a difference on a larger scale - just like a ripple effect. Kids are like drops of water, tiny and meaningless, until they realize that the ocean is made of many tiny drops just like them.

50 simple things to make a difference in the immediate circle of influence

Here is a list of things you can encourage your kids to do to make a difference in the world. Yes, they start with their own home and class (where they spend most of their time) and when they master influencing this circle, it will be easier for them to do things in their neighborhood and school, then in their town or city and finally in the world.

1. Love your family (including your siblings)
2. Be kind to animals
3. Turn off the tap when washing teeth
4. Take shorter showers
5. Participate in Earth Hour. It is fun
6. Have a family Earth Hour of your own once a month
7. Have family dinners together
8. Plant herbs in your back yard or in a pot
9. Have a compost bin
10. Turn off the lights when you leave a room
11. Turn off electric appliances (computers, TV…)when you finish using them
12. Tell your parents if you find a leak in the house
13. Pick up rubbish
14. Put food wrappers in the bin
15. Clean after yourself
16. Donate your unused clothes to charity
17. Smile
18. Say good things about people
19. Give compliments
20. Say "Thank you" to show appreciation
21. Say "Sorry" to stay in good relationships
22. Accept other people's apologies
23. Take a deep breath before you say anything you might regret
24. When you are angry, use words to express yourself and say, "I am angry" before using your hands
25. Encourage others
26. Be fair
27. Include other kids in your games
28. Be friendly towards everyone around you
29. Help others
30. Offer help when you see there is a need, even without being asked
31. When you do not know how to help, ask, "How can I help?"
32. When you help others, do not expect a reward. Feeling good is a great reward
33. Listen to others when they talk
34. Hug
35. Speak politely
36. Tell people you love how much you love them
37. Tell your parents how much you appreciate them
38. Share your things with others
39. If you hear something bad about others, stay away from the gossip and say, "I don't say bad things about people behind their back"
40. When you notice injustice towards others, speak out!
41. Call your grandparents and tell them about your adventures - you will make a huge difference in their lives
42. Walk, skate or ride a bike instead of riding a car
43. Help your parents take care of your house
44. Go to a cultural festival and experience different cultures
45. Be a role model for your siblings
46. Be a buddy at school for younger kids
47. Plant trees around your house
48. Fix broken things if you can
49. Put papers in the recycling bin
50. Share your lunch with a friend who forgot his or hers

Here is what one (very talented) kid decided to do to make a difference. If you can sing, paint, write or act, maybe you can do something like this too:

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Keep making a difference,
Ronit

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• Purpose: To Be a Great Dad
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This happened to me at a huge cultural festival. We had had a hectic week preparing for the festival, with many last-minute notices and a low budget. The weather seemed very threatening - the rain in the previous week had destroyed the entire weekend for an environmental festival, washing away a whole year of hard work. It was still raining heavily and the thought of our work going down the drain was unbearable.

The weather man said it would rain throughout the festival, but I said, "He doesn't know what he's talking about" and refused to accept that the rain would ruin our efforts. Being desperate, I decided to use my psychic mom's trick of sending a special request to the universe. "Dear God, can we please have good, sunny weather during the festival", I asked and in an attempt to cheer everyone up, I told them about my psychic mom.

Since then, I call my mom whenever I need a special weather break and ask her to have a chat with the "authorities" and arrange something for me. One time, she told me that since I was related to her, I could do it myself.

So on we went to the festival, not sure what would happen, but at about 11am, the sun came out and lots of people came to the festival. Many of them stopped at our stall and had a good time with their kids. At 4:30pm, it started drizzling. At 5:00pm, our stall was packed up and we went home, having had a magnificent day.

Try it! Tell me if it worked for you!

You may want to read

• Have Faith in Your Children
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Both my sisters were in their late thirties. One was living with her partner and was going through a very frustrating fertility treatment that took over two years without much success, while the other was slowly progressing in her relationship with her new boyfriend.

From time to time, I would call my mom and ask, "Mom, have you had a dream?" It was my way of asking whether she knew if my sister was pregnant. In my family, my mom has a reputation of being a dreamer - whenever she dreams of a dead relative coming to her in her dreams (this is how she put it, "He came to me in my dream"), that indicated someone in the family was pregnant.

One day, my mom said, "Dad had a dream that his late mother and late sister came to him together. This means we will have two babies".

What she said was a bit strange and we all hoped that my sister's fertility treatment would produce twins and save her from going through the same process again.

Then my mom started talking about both my sisters being pregnant together, although the younger one had just moved in with her boyfriend and was not talking about having a baby at that stage.

We were all surprised when my younger sister said she was pregnant and everyone was excited and happy. She had decided she wanted kids, but was very surprised to get pregnant as soon as she tried.

Two month later, my other sister got pregnant. She had a single baby and my mom was very happy, because her dream had come true.

Both my sisters go to an acupuncturist to help them with their pregnancy. The specialist told the younger sister she had a boy and the older one she had a girl. After an amniotic fluid test, the younger sister confirmed she indeed had a boy.

Last week, both my sisters went to visit my parents. My mom, who was very happy about her two youngest daughters finally being pregnant, said to the older one, "I don't think you have a girl", and the laughing started.

"Off course I have a girl", my sister said, "I know I have a girl. I can feel it's a girl. Besides, my acupuncturist is never wrong and she said I have a girl".

"But I had a dream and my dad came to my dream and gave me two kisses", my mom said.

"Two kisses could mean that he is congratulating you for having two grandchildren", my younger sister said.

"No, it couldn't be, because he kissed me twice on the same cheek. If he kissed me on both cheeks, that would mean we have babies from two sexes - one boy, one girl - but because he kissed me on the same cheek, it means both babies are the same gender and because we know from the amniotic fluid test we have one boy, I say we have two boys".

The rest of the weekend was full of laughs about my mom's fairytale stories about her dreams and pregnant women in the family.

The day after, my sister went to her 16^th week ultrasound. An old doctor, the country's foremost expert in ultrasound checks, recorded every second of the test and asked my sister and her partner if they wanted to know the gender of the baby.

They said yes.

You already know what it was, right?

Once again, my mom knew before the experts, because my older sister also has a boy.

Kids, have faith in your parents!
Ronit

You may want to read

• My Psychic Mom (4)
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I was ten when I discovered that my mom had these dreams. I know it seems like a strange thing to say, because everyone has dreams, but my mom has psychic dreams.

When someone tells you weird things, you think they are "psycho" or "mental", but if you later find out what they told you was true, then you start questioning your "psycho" theory and allowing for the possibility there might be something there. When the weird things they tell you come true again and again, you start believing that the person (in my case, my mom) is psychic and has unusual abilities.

My mom has a very special ability to discover when someone is pregnant. She does not use any crystal ball, yet she manages to find this out in her dreams. Whenever someone who died comes into her dreams, it means someone in the family is pregnant. Usually, she can interpret the meaning of the dreams in such a way that she can tell who is pregnant in the family.

From time to time, in family gatherings (which was quite often, because she has 6 siblings), my mom would ask, "I know someone is pregnant. Who is pregnant?" and we would feel embarrassed and hold our breath until someone smiled and revealed the secret.

The first time I was pregnant, my mom knew it before I did and long before my period was late. According to the doctor, I was only one week pregnant when my mom asked me about it.

The second time I was pregnant (there were 5 times all up), I took Eden to the doctor to get the results of my pregnancy test. For years, my mom had asked when I was planning to have the next child and I would say, "You will know". Little did I know she would even find out on her own!

With the positive results, Eden and I went over through my parents' house. On the way, I told Eden to keep it a secret until the evening, so Gal would know before everyone else. When we came in, however, my mom welcomed me differently and grabbed my shoulder. Eden, who was about 4 years old, said, "Grandma, I have a secret I can't tell you". My mom kissed her and answered, "It's OK, my love, you don't have to tell me. I know already that mom is pregnant, because I've had a dream".

For years, we thought she simply guessed it. What else could it be, right?

Years later, we lived in Texas, many miles of land and ocean away from my mom. We talked every week or two on the phone (at the time, overseas long distance calls were so expensive most of the conversation was "How are you?" "Good. How are you?" "What's new?" "Same. What's new for you?" "Nothing much. How are you?" This went on for a bit, while everyone imagined the sounds of coins dropping…

It was Saturday afternoon and I was so anxious to know if I was pregnant I went to Wal-Mart and bought a home pregnancy test, drove back home and impatiently opened it.

About 15 minutes after seeing the positive result on my pregnancy test, my mom called. Instead of the usual "How are you … and how are you?" she said on the phone, "I had a dream last night. Are you pregnant again?"

I was speechless.

Do you believe it was a coincidence?

Well, come back in two weeks and I will tell you of one about her latest dream, in which she was kissed on the cheek.

You may want to read

• My Psychic Mom (5)
• My Psychic Mom (3)
• My Psychic Mom (2)

Our first session was about "wanting" and translating desires into goals. When I told Carolyn she only needs to want, she looked at me with half a smile, still distant and suspicious. Carolyn was a very rational ("digital") woman and I had to remind myself it was too early to suggest that she simply ask the universe to provide.

We wrote a goal about having time off for enjoyment, winning the court case and deciding what kind of job to look for.

Carolyn came for 4 sessions. During that time, she started going to the gym and decided on a job direction. Last time we met, we talked about uncovering her beliefs and since then, we have been working by email to strengthen or replace her beliefs.

This is a letter I received from Carolyn this week (I changed some of the very personal details to protect Carolyn's privacy). I was very happy to read it I immediately wanted to share it with you:

Sometimes, when clients come with big desires and I have no idea how they would be possible to fulfill, I put my trust in the universe and ask it to do its job, even if it means receiving it almost a year later.

Keep wanting and the universe will provide,
Ronit

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In the early years of childhood, kids generally transition from being bubbly, confident and optimistic to being careful. At the age of 5, some kids are already afraid to scribble, get messy, run, jump and do anything outrageous or extraordinary. Fear is what stops them.

Later on in life, fear keeps debilitating the young people, making them conform to invisible sets of rules and norms, go to great lengths to avoid perceived punishments and unpleasantness and generally join a growing herd of humans, who spend their life wondering how on Earth they got themselves into that situation.

Of course, this is not true for everyone. There are many kids and parents out there living a happy and positive life. Unfortunately, they are a very small minority. The sad reality is that fear is so strong and so common in our time, often inspired repeatedly on purpose through or by the media, that the vast majority of the world's population live in fear much of time, even if they do not know it.

So what can we do about it? You can start by reading this new book by a wonderful presenter and author named Guy Finley. Guy's previous books and programs have become best sellers, and this book already made #1 on Amazon's best seller list only 12 hours after its first release.

Guided by the book, called The Essential Laws of Fearless Living, you will discover "the wise and fearless presence of a bright new power that lives within you". It is a step-by-step guide to realizing your ultimate potential as a human being. It reveals fundamental secrets of our living universe, and contains practical techniques to help you live a truly fearless life.

If you buy The Essential Laws of Fearless Living today and then register your Amazon order number on the Essential Laws site, you will receive a host of free gifts from over 150 leading authors and experts.

In Fearless Living, Guy Finley brilliantly describes the most important key to the breakthrough life. Let go of all the negatives, and turn over the fears to God. What happens afterward is that we are free to follow our deepest intuitions with courage. A valuable, step by step book.
- James Redfield, author of The Celestine Prophecy

So visit the Essential Laws site, read more about The Essential Laws of Fearless Living and the amazing range of special gifts from well-known inspirational figures, watch Guy Finley on video and take advantage of today's offer before it runs out. Just buy The Essential Laws of Fearless Living on Amazon, register your order number and claim your gifts.

Have a fearless life,
Ronit

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This is a true story, every word of it.

My auntie was about 40 years old when she got married. Everyone was very happy for her and my mom was the happiest of all, because her youngest sister and her only sister will finally have a chance to be a mother (at that time, my mom did not even consider having kids out of marriage).

For my mother, parenting was the ultimate purpose in life. It was unthinkable that someone she loved would never go through the best experience in life. In part, this approach of hers came from an upbringing in old Iran, where women who never married and never had children were considered the "failures" of the society. I am pretty sure she was also very happy and fulfilled as a mother from the age of 19 (and she was already considered an old mother) and this contributed to her positive view of parenthood.

It was very exciting for the whole family to find out my auntie was pregnant. At the age of 40, you can imagine how hard and exciting the whole thing was. That is why we were all devastated when she had a miscarriage during the first weeks of the pregnancy.

My mom prayed every day for her sister to get pregnant. My mom already had 5 grandchildren, the oldest being 10 years old, while her own sister had not even experienced motherhood.

After some time, everyone was delighted when mu auntie got pregnant again. Feeling very stressed, she called my mom and asked to stay for the weekend at our place.

On Friday morning, my mom woke up in terror and asked my dad to call her sister and tell her not to come. Getting from my auntie’s home to ours took less than two hours by car, so we all looked at her in surprise.

"I had a bad dream", my mom said to my dad, "She should not come here today. It is bad for her. She will lose the baby if she comes. Call her now!"

My dad looked at her and did not know what to do. He was afraid to call my auntie.

"I can't call her and tell her you had a dream", he said, "What do you want me to say, 'Your sister had a dream'? She'll think we don't want her to come".

I have to say that we were on his side. We could guarantee she would think that. She was very fragile with the second pregnancy after the first loss and we did not want to look unsupportive.

My mom was confused herself. My dad debated this the whole day. My auntie was supposed to come the same day and my mom had only had a dream. We made fun of my mom the whole day about pretending to be Joseph the Dreamer and my dad, not feeling he could call and reveal that my mom was pretending to be psychic, decided not to call.

My auntie came that afternoon. She was glowing and happy. We had the most wonderful weekend together. We were all happy and cheerful, except my mom, who was worried and a bit teary the whole weekend.

The day after my auntie left, she had a miscarriage the second time…

Knowing how you must be feeling now, you should know that my mom did not have any more bad dreams about my auntie's pregnancies and she had 2 baby boys, who are now lovely teenagers.

You may want to read

• My Psychic Mom (2)
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I first suspected that my mom was psychic when I was 10 and she told me how my great-grandfather came into her dream and told her she would stay in my dad's family forever. The second time was about 15 years later, when I came to visit my parents on one of our monthly visits.

A year earlier, Gal and I had been together for 7 years and had already lived together for 2 years. We were both students and, although my mom was scared I would get pregnant before I was married (I think that was her worst nightmare), she never said anything to me. Nevertheless, she was very happy when Gal and I decided to get married.

After a year of marriage, my mom said nothing about getting pregnant and having babies, although she is the type of person who thinks you should get pregnant on the night of your marriage.

As students, we went to visit our parents (who happened to live in the same town) roughly once a month, because they lived about two and a half hours' bus ride (we did not have a car then) from where we studied.

So, after a year of marriage, 3 years of living together and 8 years of being a couple, we were sitting at the dinner table and my mom touched my arms and said, "Is anything happening?"

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Are you pregnant?" she asked and I was shocked to realize this was the first time she had mentioned anything after I had been with Gal for such a long time.

"Why do you ask?" I asked her.

"I had a dream", she said.

She said that if a dead person came into her dreams, it meant that someone was pregnant. We all laughed, but my mom was convinced she was right.

I told her I could not tell yet, because I was not even "late".

On the way home on the bus, Gal and I talked about it again. It was not strange that she wanted me to get pregnant, but it was very strange she had suddenly said something about it, so we decided to check first thing in the morning.

When I came to the lab, the girl at the counter asked me how "late" I was.

"I am not", I told her and she looked at me in surprise.

"Then why are you doing a blood test now?" she asked. Embarrassed, I told her about my mom. She smiled at me in a very understanding way and signed my documents for the blood test.

During lunchtime, when I called the lab, the same girl in the office said to me, "Your mom must be psychic. You are pregnant!"

You may want to read

• My Psychic Mom (3)
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I suspected that my mom was psychic when I visited my late grandparents' house and saw a photo of an old man, with a long gray beard and a special turban on his head. It was a black and white photo that stood proudly on top of my grandparents' TV.

"This is your great-grandfather", my mom said to me, "His name is Amu Yehezkel" (which means "Uncle on father's side Ezekiel").

She talked as if she knew him, yet we were at my dad's parents' house and Amu Yehezkel was not her grandfather.

"Amu Yehezkel was a respectable doctor in Iran", she said to me, full of admiration for the man, "He saved his family many times because he was the Shah's family doctor" (the Shah was the Iranian king for many years).

I was about 10 years old when I noticed the photo. It had been there on top of the TV all that time, but I had never noticed it. Mom used to smile at that photo every time we entered my dad's parents' house.

"Did you know him?" I asked my mom.

"Well, yes and no. He died long before I was born. I have never met him in real life", she said and smiled.

"What do you mean 'not in real life'?"

"I met him in a dream, a very important dream".

And this is her story:

This is a true story. I was about 10 years old the first time I thought something was weird about my mom. Would you not think your mom was psychic if you heard it?

You may want to read

• My Psychic Mom (3)
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As a happiness life coach, I get to be asked a lot about the definition of happiness. As much as I would like to take the credit for being the ultimate definer of happiness, I am not. I teach happiness but my definition is far from being ultimate and is limited to my personal experiences in life, my needs, beliefs and values. I am sure your definition of happiness means a lot to you, which is just the way it should be.

This month, I decided to celebrate happiness together with two young achievers, Lee Naziri, my 16-year-old niece, and Tsoof Baras, my 13-year-old son, who both inspired me to move forward in their own special ways.

I was happy and proud to bring both their talents into the "Happiness is…" presentation and I hope it will make you happy too.

Click this link to view the "Happiness is…" presentation

Hiding behind her camera, Lee Naziri has her own unique way of looking at the world. She took her first inspiring photos at the age of 12 - so young and so talented. I am honored to bring just some of them here. (Photographers are so particular about their photos that we can witness only some of those treasured moments - all the rest are just not perfect enough). Lee's photos are published in magazines and on the Internet and she is asked to come and document special events, particularly ones revolving around teens.

Tsoof Baras, the sweet essence (that is the meaning of his name) of my life, started playing music at the age of 4. It started with drumming on everything around the house and ended up with playing with the biggest percussion instruments (that we can hardly find space for in our house) and winning national Australian awards for his talent. He plays music most hours of his day and he wrote the music for the presentation by himself and recorded it with very basic equipment.

2009 ways to be happy

2009 is approaching and for us to increase happiness in the world, we each need to have our own definition of happiness with 2009 ways to be happy. I certainly used the opportunity to enjoy Lee's photos and listen to Tsoof's "Happiness is…" composition over and over again to add to my happy list. Each moment of it gave me a lot of pleasure.

I would like to take the opportunity to encourage you all to take the 2009 challenge and make your 2009 list of what can make you happy. If you do not have enough ideas, here is what you can do to help you reach the 2009 mark.

1. Ask friends and family for ideas
2. Go over your day and find moments of joy - write them down
3. Think of hobbies you have
4. Imagine food you would be happy to eat
5. Imagine what would make you happy to receive as a gift
6. Think of achievements that made you happy in the past and some that will, in the future will make you happy
7. Search the Internet for the word "happy" and related words ("joy", "happiness", "pleasure") to get ideas
8. Write people who make you happy
9. Write moments of bliss that will make you happy
10. Make a list of all the books that have made you happy and you can read again
11. Make a list of happy events in your life that you would love to repeat
12. Write down happy memories that you could recall to be happy
13. Think of treasures you keep that you could look at to make yourself happy
14. Think of all the things you are grateful for - gratitude brings much joy and happiness
15. Write special holidays you love to celebrate
16. Write down achievements that would make you happy
17. Write down movies that have made you laugh
18. Write down places you have visited that have made you happy
19. Write down songs that listening to them makes you happy
20. List feelings you love to experience
21. List surprises you would love to receive
22. Think of things that motivate you - there is lots of happiness in motivation
23. Think of all your senses when compiling a list: smells, touches, visions, sounds, tastes

Remember, the more items you have on your list, the happier you are.

I hope you enjoy the presentation and I hope the inspiring kids who contributed their talents to it will be an inspiration for you too.

If you find it inspiring, please forward it to everyone who could use a bit of inspiration.

May 2008 conclude as a positive and happy year for you.

To help you summarize your 2008, I have prepared a happiness assessment, which you can use to find out just how happy you are at the moment. Go to this page for your happiness assessment - it's free.

As 2009 approaches, I wish you 2009 ways to be happy
- Ronit Baras

Lots of love,
Ronit

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• Expect to Be a Happy Parent
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• Purpose: To Be a Great Dad