Family Matters

Posts Tagged ‘social’

Our definition of friendship evolves over the years. At first, our friends are the kids we play with, even when we envy them or hate them. As we grow up, our definition becomes deeper and more meaningful, but also more selective.

When I was 16, I joined the school council and fought for kids’ rights and freedom of speech. People said it was because I was a Libra, but the teacher who coordinated my school’s leadership programs (school council, school newspaper and class representatives) told us we were the future and what we were doing was very important. We wrote protest poems, listened to Joan Baez, negotiated with school authorities to make sure our education went beyond learning math and literature and made a big difference in the life of our fellow students.

For some kids, working together is a great motivator. Many times, when kids need to do something they do not know how to do, it is a big relief for them if someone else is experiencing the same challenges. Suddenly, they are not alone.

Eden got this nickname when she was 7 years old and her teacher complained she was reading out loud while all the other kids switched to silent reading. The teacher was concerned that reading out loud would interfere with her reading development.

To handle the need to verbalize what she was reading (a kinesthetic need), Eden started to whisper. It started with fast and unclear quiet whispers, like shorthand. she read for hours every day, so from age 7 to 20, you could hear indistinct whispers in our house at the table, in the toilet, behind the sofa, on the floor or on her bed.

All my 3 little book worms go to the public library every week and borrow 20 books for each membership card (and we have 5 cards).

For the love of reading

Kids who love reading are every parent’s dream. Developing imagination, getting exposed to richness of information and inspiring emotions through the written word are only some of the advantages of reading.

In the last three weeks, I wrote ideas to boost creativity in kids. In my opinion, kids already have natural creativity in them and our aim is to nurture it and make sure it does not disappear. In my book, “Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers”, I wrote that creativity, along with flexibility and tolerance, are natural states of mind and our job as parents and educators is to nourish them to full blossom.

When I was growing up, the world was a lot nicer. There, I have said it. There were no computers, no Internet (and I like both), cars were simple, roads were narrow, but life felt free and full of adventures. Now, there are way too many dangers everywhere. Or are there really?

One good way to inspire motivation is to use others who have succeeded as role models and try to learn from them. Can you imagine kids growing up to think that many people around them, both younger and older, are sources of inspiration?

In recent years, privacy has become a very hot topic. New updates to privacy notices arrive in our email almost weekly, appearing more and more complicated over time. Whether you run your own business or work in someone else’s company, you are required to keep your clients’ privacy. And, of course, you worry about your own privacy the privacy of your kids when you go online. But sometimes, this can go a bit too far and hurt more than it helps.

Many couples choose for the man to work and “win the bread” and for the woman to stay at home and raise the kids until they are old enough to go to school. Often having 3 kids 1-2 years apart, the woman saves the family child care money for 7 years and then returns to the workforce.

The current vibe around marriage and likely divorce has caused many people to stay single for a lot longer than they ever would have in the past. The upside of this is more personal development, more independence and an improved financial situation. The downside is getting used to making decisions alone, looking for potential partners and keeping a clear personal space.

Is this a problem? It can be.

You see, having kids is something that cannot wait and should not wait. The quality and quantity of eggs in women goes down over time, which makes having a baby more and more complicated. Women’s physical fitness and flexibility also goes down with age, making matters worse.

From a family planning point of view, having kids over 5 years provides fewer options than having them over 10 years. The age difference between kids is a very important factor in healthy emotional development, but if there is not time, you can only have them close together, which can be challenging.

Being single for a long time causes many people to continue living as two singles sharing a home, instead of a married couple. This gets messy very quickly. In extreme circumstances, the two singles keep things ready for separation, which only makes separation more likely.

After “hunting” for a partner for a long time, the habit of collecting and evaluating potential mates is harder to shake and having affairs does not seem like such a big deal. Why invest in making your marriage interesting if you can just “refresh” your life with someone else from time to time? Alas, the way back is hard and most couples cannot make it.

And there are other economical and social reasons, which is why marriage was invented in the first place.