Family Matters

Posts Tagged ‘perception’

At birth, God gave Adam two simple-looking gray boxes.

God said, “In one box, you will put all the wonderful moments of your life – the pleasures, the joys, the laughter and everything that makes you happy”.

“What about the second box?”

“In the second box, you will put all the moments of pain and sorrow”, God Said to Adam, “All the loneliness, the discomfort, the heartache, the suffering, the tears and the misery”.

Last week, I wrote about the relationship breakdown between parents and kids as a result of watching too much TV. Today, I cover the influence of TV on couples’ relationships, on the divorce rate and on the breakdown of the family structure.

Two years ago, I wrote about the rising divorce rate in the world. What triggered this article was my parents’ 48th anniversary. This year, my parents celebrate their 50th anniversary and I am very proud of them, but because I work with kids and couples, I am concerned about many others.

I believe the kind of exposure on TV to disposable relationships is making it harder for parents, as well as couples without children, to keep their family structure alive and well.

If you want to understand how concerning the statistics is, here are some marriage statistics.

Some people shiver when I tell them about this task. If you have had a chance to read my earlier post about divorcing your parents, you know that, as sad as this may be, too many people do not have good relationships with their parents. And you know what? This is not good! No matter how horrible our parents might be (or rather how horrible we perceive them to be), this relationship does not stop to exist because we do not like it. It continues to influence us in a sad and bad way.

One of my clients, who was very critical about herself, was very surprised when I asked her “What do you like about yourself?” She thought about it for a long time before she found something nice to say about herself and you know what, it is hard to blame her.

Love, as you probably know, is one of the most wonderful feelings. Some people claim there are only two feelings – love and fear – and every good thing in life is a form of love and all the bad things are forms of fear. A stronger version of this only recognizes one feeling – love – and all the rest is lack of love.

What is special about childhood memories is that we had very limited life experience to interpret them within their whole context. For example, remembering an incident with our parents being upset with us usually misses what our parents had to deal with at work, in their relationships, their history with their own parents, their fears and so on.

Luke was definitely not a regular kid and his mom was going nowhere with her attempts to help to him. Since birth, he had had physical problems that only increased the family’s frustration and when his brother had been born, the extra attention Luke had received from his mom had made things worst. He had acquired one more enemies. When Luke had reached his teen years, things had gotten out of control and the family had been on the verge of nervous breakdown.

It started when my sister, who is 3 years younger than I am, brought home her prescription glasses. I was about 15 and thought it was cool. Kids are like that. They think strange things are cool. From time to time, I would steal her glasses and try them on. I was shocked to discover that the TV looked different, and that the whole world looked clearer.