Family Matters

Posts Tagged ‘learning styles’

I am sure you have heard a lot about troubled kids and troubled teens, but not much about troubled teachers. You have probably heard about learning difficulties, but not a lot about teaching difficulties. I think that many times when we do talk about kids’ difficulties, regardless of their age, the origin is some parenting or teaching difficulty.

Lately, I have had many requests for kids’ coaching from parents who were concerned about their kid’s behavior. When I asked them to tell me why they thought their child needed coaching, I discovered the most of these kids’ behavior “problems” were the result of teaching difficulties.

Teachers, as most people forget, are just human beings with a big task. If you hang around teachers long enough, you will find out teaching is not an easy profession. Teachers have the ability to make a huge difference in a kids’ life, but they can do it in a good way or in a bad way. They can instill passion, motivation and interest or kill them for life.

So what can we do about this as parents?

Last Friday, our entire family went to listen to a Jazz concert, which was part of a series of concerts organized by a university’s performing arts department. One of the members of the band was my son’s percussion tutor at the recent MOST residential camp, as well as the composer of the most exciting music pieces my son plays in his school’s percussion ensemble. We decided to go and finally see this guy our son admires so much.

The performance lasted about an hour and while we were listening and watching them sit on stage with a beautiful grand piano, double bass and a drum kit, Gal said to me, “Just look at them and you’ll be able to tell their communication style”.

It was very funny, because all three of them played for about an hour 6 or 7 Jazz pieces they had composed themselves and they played the whole time with their heads tilted to one side.

Ronit and I think often about communication styles as a useful model for improving human relationships and developing kids. As a family, we are lucky to have all the communication styles (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Digital) represented in different combinations in the members of our family.

Martin (not his real name) came with his mom to an assessment with me. He stood at my door, the cutest redheaded 5-year-old, with a cheeky smile. He looked down, but whenever he lifted his head, I could see that his eyes were smiling.

We sat at the table and I gave him a matching game and what do you know, I met another MacGyver, but this one was the first and unique in his kind – MacGyver Pro.

The quote “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” is widely used by people as a “rule of thumb” for treating others. I must have heard it spoken to kids by their parents hundreds of times in different settings. But I am here to tell you that this way of thinking can get you into all kinds of strife and that if you review your relationships, you will find out how.

Contrary to what most people think, memory is something you can improve with practice. It is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Last week, after posting Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 6), I got this comment from Chuck Bluestein referring to his post called What Causes a Lack of Self-Esteem in Americans. According to Chuck, the lack of physical touch in infants is the source of the problem.

When I sit in my car, driving the kids to school or just on my way to the supermarket, I like watching people in their cars. Some funny people talk to themselves. Yes, I know it may look like they are on the phone, but I am talking about the crazy people that actually talk to themselves.

I call these people “MacGyvers”. Do you remember the TV series with this guy who was narrating the whole time? We heard his thoughts all the time wherever he went.

A couple of clients came to me for parent coaching because of a problem they had with their teen boy, and were very surprised when we went through Pink Elephants. They said, “We tell him every day NOT to hang around bad kids, but saying it only puts the focus on those kids we want him to stay away from”.

This question usually comes up after parents are informed by their child’s teacher that the child is not keeping up with their schoolwork. However, although the indication given is academic, the problem is most often emotional.