Family Matters

Posts Tagged ‘kindergarten’

This week, I had the opportunity to discuss school horrors with 3 of my clients. One of them was a 45-year-old man who could not handle school because he had to “toughen up” at the age of 4 when his father left home. Another one was a 13-year-old girl who was about to start 8th Grade with a 3rd Grade reading abilities and was convinced she was stupid. The third one was a 48-year-old woman who was told all her life she was stupid, never succeeded in her schooling and thought it was an obstacle to finding a job. All three of them described school as a period of horror when they were scared to be there and when teaching was about pumping information without considering their life’s circumstances – teaching out of context.

During coaching, I usually share some of my personal experience with my clients, so it was very natural for me to share one of my horror stories from school. Unfortunately, I have had too many. When I tell them, I re-live them in my mind and have clear memories of them. I remember the names, the places, the settings and the feelings I have had. I shared these stories because I wanted my clients to consider that in spite the horrors of our childhood, we can all make it. In spite of our parents not protecting us, we can make it. In spite of our teachers not teaching us with the right context in mind, we can be very successful. And happy.

All of them just looked at me quietly for a while. One of them started crying (and it was not the 13-year-old). Another one said, “Ronit, you are making this up”. The third one said, “It’s impossible! You look like you’ve been successful all your life”. Then, all of them left their sessions believing they can make it too.

Gal said I should write it down so more people will be inspired, more parents will be involved in their kids’ schooling and more teachers will teach within their students’ context, so here I am sharing with you my first horror story from school.

One of the biggest challenges for parents in our time is, well, time. Or at least the shortage of it. Having to keep up with inflation, with the Joneses, with technology, with the news and with ever-increasing demands at work means that many parents need a place for their kids to be after school hours.

Of course, we do not want our kids to be just anywhere. We want to keep them in a safe place, operated by friendly people who like kids, where our children will be kept occupied, interested and preferably even educated. Not an easy thing to find, especially when that place also needs to make money…

On the emotional side, leaving our kids with others and staying long hours at work creates loads of guilt feelings. If you have ever put your child in childcare, I am sure you have thought to yourself, “What kind of a parent am I if my kids spend most of their days away from me and get most of their care from other people?”

This story is not just about one place. It is not even just about after school care. This story is to tell you that when you have to find a place for your kids to spend some time, you can actually find them and your kids can actually be happy there.

If your kids are involved in any kind of performing art – singing, dancing, acting or playing music – I am sure you will relate to this. For some reason, school productions and school concerts, including those organized by dance schools, theater groups and music schools, seem to be ignoring their main clients – us, the parents.

Hand on your heart, when you come to a concert or a play, do you care how good the teacher is? Do you care how good the production is? Or do you keep looking for the little person on stage that belongs to you?

And when you see your little person performing their best, do you care if their inflection is right? Do you care if their balance is perfect? Do you even care if they make a mistake? Or is it so cute and adorable, you could not care less, as long as your son or daughter is at the front, where you can see them?

Last week, I wrote about the influence of watching TV on kids’ and adults’ perception of relationships as disposable and easy to change. Today, I want to write about something very close to my heart – learning and education – and how watching TV affects them.

Some people might say, “Big deal. Not every child has to do well at school. Besides, there are things kids can learn from watching TV too”.

Well, humans must learn to survive. Your kids’ opportunities in life depend very much on their abilities to learn and develop new skills. Read on and you will see that watching TV causes kids to do poorly at school, but this also sets them up for a much more limited life long after they finish school.

Many couples choose for the man to work and “win the bread” and for the woman to stay at home and raise the kids until they are old enough to go to school. Often having 3 kids 1-2 years apart, the woman saves the family child care money for 7 years and then returns to the workforce.

Choosing a day care centre for our kids requires self-testing. No doubt, the right choice can determine our kids’ happiness and can, in time, save us a great deal of energy and heartache when we shift them from one place to another.

Possibly the greatest optimist in history was Thomas Edison. He went through 1,500 attempts to come up with the right wire to light his bulb. He never thought that each attempt will repeat because he was not the same person after that attempt. The Thomas Edison preparing for his 1,500th attempt knew something that the Thomas Edison preparing for his 1,499th attempt did not know.

It all started 18 years ago, when I wrote the “Garden of Eden” program, which put most of the emphasis emotional intelligence. I started an early childhood centre with kids aged 1½ to 4 and proved that excellence depends on the teaching, not on the kids.

Auditory kids pay the most attention to sounds. To them, voices, tones, pitches and rhythms provide a wealth of information and carry emotions that other kids simply ignore. They have superior abilities to “record” and “play back” TV shows, skits, songs and conversations. On the other hand, they are sequential thinkers and must be able to focus on one thing at a time.
Here are some ideas that will help auditory kids learn better, be happier and love learning.

Digital kids have an outstanding ability to notice patterns, structures, rules and processes. They like to think, take things apart and put them together, possible in a better way. Knowledge is the source of their power and they continually look for opportunities to get more information and sharpen their mind. These kids learn best and expresses themselves best using systems, languages (including math, music and computer languages) and logic.

Digital kids think of things as being “interesting” or “boring”.

Here are some ideas that help digital kids learn better…