Most, if not all the people in the world want to be happy. Happiness is also what parents want to give to their kids most of all – more than money, health and many other things. Yet, many people believe that in order to get the most happiness, they must avoid unpleasantness and hardship as much as they can.
Irrational Rules of Living – Disempowerment
In all my parenting workshops, when I ask parents about the most important thing they wish to give their children, happiness always gets the highest score. Yes, we fight with them over school, bad influence and cleaning their room, but if we had to choose only one thing we want for our kids, it would be to be happy.
Relationship Between Two Onions
Many couples in crisis get to this situation because they do not know each other well. Knowing each other is the first step in overcoming conflicts. In this part of “Save Your Marriage”, I am going to write about the importance of knowing your partner and teach you how to learn all there is to know about your partner. Getting to know your partner’s fears, joys, history and attitude are the first step of any relationship.
Think of marriage as a relationship between two onions. For a couple to get closer, they have to peel the layers of the onion one by one. In the beginning, when you meet a potential partner, you peel the thin external layers. As the relationship deepens, you need to peel more and more layers to discover the beautiful person hiding inside.
To understand, respect and love each other in our marriage, we must truly get to know the person sharing out life. Sometimes, just knowing what their fears are or their joys can change a whole life. I remember the first time Gal gave me his list of “50 things that make me happy” and I was surprised to find out he was happy about very little things. It was surprising, because we had lived together for over 15 years.
Assuming that if you live together you know everything is a bad idea. Even if we knew out partner well at some point, we still need to update ourselves and keep learning about them because, just like us, our partner changes with every event in their life.
If you ever go on a TV show of the “best married couple” type, they will ask how much you know about each other.
Why?
Because everyone assumes that knowing things about each other is essential to your success as a married couple.
How to Measure Your Life
If you are like me and like many other people I know, you sometimes ask yourself just how successful you are. Birthdays and New Years are typical opportunities to do this, but there are many other soft moments, when we find ourselves sitting quietly and thinking, “How is my life going?”
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Resourceless Teens
One of most difficult things for teens to do is ask for help. Most of the time, the emotional struggles they face at that age prevent them from treating the adults in their life as resources.
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Emotional Garage sale
Ask any person who has ever had a garage sale and they will tell you that it takes a long time to prepare for one, and sometimes it is hard to say goodbye to some items that you think are close to your heart. Still, in the end, you meet some wonderful people, you make some money and you feel hugely relieved afterwards. You feel fresh, clean, light and free.
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Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: See What Happens
There’s a famous saying “Two’s company, but three’s a crowd”. When you’re a parent, and you want to help your kids with their social life, it’s a good one to remember. Other odd numbers of kids are tougher than even, but three can get downright nasty.
Ronit and I grew up in small places, where life was fairly simply and people were very friendly. So whatever we did, we did with our friends. We rode our bikes with them, played sports with them, and splashed with them at the pool or in the puddles. We swung with them at the playground and very often invented new and exciting games and adventures with them.
So it’s only natural for us to want our kids to have friends too and enjoy similar warmth to what we felt as kids. We want them to develop their social skills and imagination (come on, say it with me “instead of spending all their spare time in front of the computer or the TV”).
60 Tips for a Happy Marriage
A happy marriage is just like a healthy plant. If you give the plant water, sun and air, it blossoms. A marriage requires an equal amount of nurturing if it is to blossom. As much as it is hard to accept, a nice wedding and the good intentions you have to stay together forever are not enough to produce a successful, happy marriage. The excitement and joy that newly-wed couples often experience tend to wear off within the first year of marriage and so, if you want to celebrate your 50th anniversary with your partner one day, you both need to make a conscious decision to “water” your relationship.
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Pippi Longstocking
Yesterday evening, Noff and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. As we were walking, Noff told me she was going to have a “book character day” today and she had decided to dress up as Pippi Longstocking. She was very excited, as kids often are, and wanted to know every little detail about Pippi’s character, so that she would do a good job at school.
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Happiness Has No Address
Traveling is a great way to expend your internal world. In search of happiness, traveling is a good way to realize that happiness has no address. You only need to open your door and leave your comfort zone to find out you are carrying the whole world with you in your thoughts, your mindset and your actions.
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