I turned into an "old person" when my 1-year-old daughter Eden was sick with pneumonia. She was on antibiotics for 6 months because as soon as she got off it, she got sick again. By the time she turned 2, she had had pneumonia for 6 months. We were at the mercy of the doctors and their medication, taking her to the hospital and worrying about her health. The head of the children's ward at the biggest hospital in our area, who saw her for 6 months at his private clinic, said to us, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your daughter is asthmatic. She will have to be on medication 6 months out of every year, so you'd better get ready".

She was just so young and fragile and we were so scared we understood why those "old people" had wished her health.

Our life changed when we took responsibility over our own health and Eden's and realized we had the power to raise healthy, happy kids.

Eden is 21 years old now. In the past 19 years, after we got rid of the pneumonia (and not with antibiotics or any other medication), she saw a doctor for her immunizations, chicken pox at the age of 6 and a throat infection at the age of 16. She had a cold last week and still has a runny nose, but she never went to the doctor.

I am a very good example of a parent who thinks we can do something to change our kids' health, although I did not grow up with that thinking. My mom raised 5 sick kids and she still thinks medication is the cure for everything. To her, "doctor" is a kind of god that must be obeyed, even when her doctor keeps her waiting, ignores her symptoms and gets things wrong. She has been sick all her life and she does not have any health strategy.

I believe that kids' health (and their parents' health) is an important part of parenting. I am in a constant search for tips and tricks to keep my kids healthy, so I decided to ask the Top Parenting Bloggers about their attitude towards ensuring their kids' health.

How do you keep your kids healthy?

Annie - PhD in Parenting We try to offer them a balanced diet and in the event that they do not take us up on that offer, we offer vitamin supplements and keep encouraging (but not forcing) them to try new foods. Our daughter eats an excellent variety of foods, whereas our son is as meat and potatoes kind of guy. We ensure that they get lots of fresh air and exercise, which is critical to both their physical and mental health. We encourage them to think through problems and to address their emotions, which helps keep them mentally healthy.

Ria Sharon - My Mommy Manual Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I am a big believer that their growing bodies and brains really need sleep to develop. It makes a big difference in their temperament and in staying healthy. And of course, healthy food, vitamins, exercise.

Richard "RJ" Jaramillo - Single Dad We all cook together...

Sue Scheff - Sue Scheff Blog Purell Hand Sanitizer. Kidding, sort of. However, hand washing has to be taught from a young age and carried into their teen years. Teaching your children not to share drinks and other items that go from mouth to mouth can help.Some parents believe in vitamins. That is a personal decision. I used them when my kids were younger, however we eventually stopped.

Susan Heim - Susan Heim on Parenting I encourage plenty of outdoor play, monitor their eating habits and make sure they get plenty of rest. It sounds pretty simple, but diet, exercise and sleep really are the "big three" in keeping our kids healthy!

Annie Fox, M.Ed. - From the desk of Annie Fox Know what they need in terms of nutrition, sleep, activity, intellectual and creative stimulation, social skill-building and… a stable nurturing family life. Then do your best to provide what you can.

Maria Melo - Conversations with Moms Encourage them to play outside as much as possible and limit their time in front of the TV. I play music around my house a lot and have fun dancing with my children. I also try to teach them good eating habits and although I allow them to eat the occasional junk food, I try to teach them about the importance of balance in their diets. I've been lucky in that my oldest son has a dislike for soda drinks, probably because it is non-existent in my house. Our drink of choice at home is water.

Ronit Baras - Family Matters We buy lots and lots of fruits and vegetables. 75% of what we eat (by weight) is fruits and vegetables. Our kids just eat what they find in the refrigerator and pantry. Get a good night's sleep. On school days, our kids go to sleep between 8 and 8:30 and sleep for 10 hours. My son is nearly 15 and still sleeps 10 hours every day (he dreams up new music…). If they want to stay up, they need to prove they can wake up energetic the next day. If they are cranky, fussy and agitated, it is a sign they did not get enough sleep, so off to bed early they go. We meditate. We did a Transcendental Meditation course when Eden was 10 and Tsoof was 4. It keeps them focused and alert. Gal and I can tell when they meditate and when they do not. When they are confused, we ask about it and suggest they meditate for a while. At the first sign of sickness, I say, "Vitamin C to the rescue". In high dosage (1,500 to 3,000mg a day), I believe it boosts the immune system and keeps them from becoming sick. It works! Keep them doing something that makes them happy. I help my kids find things that make them happy and encourage them to do those things. Happiness is a great chemical state, whereas stress is the ultimate enemy. Smiling releases good hormones, so get your kids to smile a lot. I promote being healthy. When we moved to Australia, I found out people stayed home sick if they sneezed, so I made an agreement with my kids that if they stayed healthy for the whole term, they can take 1 day off school whenever they want and have fun with me. It works! Plant healthy thoughts in your kids' mind. I tell my kids they are healthy and strong every day. "Tomorrow, you'll feel better after a good night's sleep". When friends say, "I don't want to bring my son to play, because he is sick", I say, "You can bring him, because my kids never get sick" (and they do not!). I learned from a principal who attended one of parenting workshops an awesome trick. When his kids start getting sick, he tells them, "You're really good at getting better". I love this! Watch what you say to your kids.

This is the last chapter of the Top Parenting Bloggers Discuss. Many thanks to the Top Parenting Bloggers: Sue Scheff, Annie Fox, Richard Jaramillo, Ria Sharon, PhD Annie, Maria Melo and Susan Heim and for sharing their thoughts and experience throughout the series.

If you want to know more about the bloggers who take part in this project or contact any of them, please visit their blogs, follow them on Twitter and/or become their fan on Facebook.

With the questions I have received from readers I am planning another series of expect discussions. If you want your questions answered too, write them in the comment box below.

Happy parenting,
Ronit

You may want to read

• Ronit’s Parenting Bible: Manners
• Ronit’s Parenting Bible: Role Model
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Excitement vs. Anxiety

When kids are excited about their sport, they are pumped up and ready to conquer the world. There is a positive outcome to this excitement and many coaches dedicate much energy to create this excitement in their players.

On the other hand, some kids' excitement is turned into a form of anxiety, especially if they are not confident with their skills. This anxiety is not healthy for children (or anyone else, for that matter) and can drain their energy rather than increasing it. When kids are anxious, their heart rate goes up and they have sweaty hands. While excitement could improve the performance and enjoyment of the game, anxiety does exactly the opposite.

As parents, we have an important role (together with the kids' coach) in making sure the excitement does not become an anxiety.

Respect the Coach (and the Officials)

Respecting your kids' coach is the same as respecting any other mentor in their life. The coach, the tutor and teacher are extension of you in many ways. They do what you cannot do, whether it is because you are busy or just because they have a different expertise. If you respect them, you teach your kids to respect all their mentors, including you. There is a level of trust and respect that is the foundation for any sporting activity and needs to be there before any learning can take place.

It is very important to choose a coach who shares your values, so that you can trust them and show your respect toward them. If you choose the wrong coach, showing your respect will be very difficult and things will get messy for the kids.

With officials, like referees, umpires and desk operators, things are a bit different. Although you cannot choose them, you must respect their decisions, if only to show your kids the proper value of rules. If you find this hard, read on.

Playing is More Important than Winning

My son played in a basketball team for a whole year. He was a good player and got the opportunity to play a lot in each game. However, his coach was so eager to win that some other players, who were not as good, got little to no play time, and sat for entire games on the bench, no matter how early they came every Saturday morning.

Though our son played most of the time, we realised after a while that he was getting very upset whenever his team lost a game. He would say that the referee was… and the other team won only because… It was almost impossible to for him to see sense - winning was so important that his mood was controlled by the score on the board.

This is a very common behaviour in kids but very unhealthy for them and requires our watchful eyes in aligning our values with our kids and their coach. Coaches and teachers who emphasise the end result more than the process might give your kids a messages you do not want. Even at school, kids need to be measured individually, emphasising participation and improvement. "Most Improved" should to be a higher status that "Best Player".

(Our solution was to volunteer to help with the coaching, so Gal, who is a life coach, was the best person to stick to such values. Many kids from other teams asked to join Gal's team, only because he made sure everyone came to play basketball, not necessarily to win basketball. Even the kids who could hardly dribble got their chance to play in the game and it was wonderful to see the joy during and after each game, whatever the score).

Team Sport

Some sports are played in teams, like basketball, volleyball and soccer, while others are played by individuals, like swimming, running and tennis. Team sports require (and develop), in addition to the physical aspects, some social skills.

Individual sports can be more challenging than team sports, because the responsibility is only with one player, while in a team sport, the responsibility is shared between the players.

As parents, we need to make sure our kids do not choose an individual sport because of weak social skills, as this will only deepen their social isolation.

Encouraging vs. Pushing

There is a fine line between encouraging your kids in sport and pushing them. Saying to kids things like "Make us proud", "Don't disappoint us" or "We are counting on you" may produce the correct behaviour, but it will be based on fear, guilt and punishment. These feelings will then be associated with the sport, instead of the fun and the joy. Here is a list of things that will help you find out just how pushy you are regarding your kids' sport:

1. Pushy parents make sure they review the strategies with their kids before the game.
2. Pushy parents make lots of effort to put their kids on the top team and get them special roles on the team.
3. Pushy parents spend lots of extra money and time to make sure their kids are "the best" (some parents pay for extra lessons, private lessons and weekend workouts, just to make sure their kids are at the top of their team).
4. Pushy parents always tell their kids how they feel at the end of each game. "I was happy with the way you did today" or "I was disappointed…". The most serious cases say these things aloud, in front of everybody else.
5. Pushy parents shout and scream and give their kids advice during games, because it is very important for them to win.

Encouraging parents do these things instead:

1. Encouraging parents tell their kids it is important to enjoy the game and the real prize is playing, having fun and learning.
2. Encouraging parents drive their kids to and from games and practice and pay for activities without complaining, because this is what their kids wanted to do.
3. Encouraging parents tell their kids that every role in every game is important and that in every role, you can do the best you can.
4. Encouraging parents ask their kids "Did you enjoy the game?", "How did you feel when you scored/dropped the ball?" and "What did you do better today?"
5. Encouraging parents tell their kids they are happy and proud of them regardless of the results in the game.

Sport is a healthy activity for children, as long as they are happy to take part in it and are encouraged to play the game. If you want to help your kids make the best of life, be "a good sport"!

You may want to read

• Be a Good Sport! (part 1)
• Anger Management: Be Prepared
• Anorexia: How to stop worrying

Well, the truth is that parents can help a lot in directing their kids, but the playing filed is the last place to do that.

Participating in any kind of sport is very important for every child (and parent). Sporting activities can teach children a lot about determination, effort, practice, team work, leadership and, most of all, about achievement. While these are the positive things sport can give kids, there are some negative things that can be taught and there is a fine line between them. If the right connection was not made, kids can learn to be competitive, pushy, aggressive, angry and, worst of all, think they are a failure.

There are 9 things we need to do as parents to make sure our kids take the positive out of sports rather than the negative. Here are the first 4. I will tell you about the last 5 tomorrow.

Emphasise the Child's Needs

Some parents use their kids' sporting activities to fulfil their own needs. Whether they wanted to do it when they were kids, but had no chance or they were good at that sport when they were kids and want their kids to experience the joy of this sport, parents must ask themselves if they are putting their needs ahead of their kids'.

Allow your kids to choose the sport they want to and avoid getting your agenda in it. You can tell your kid about your joy from a particular sport but never to them to participate in it just because you liked it.

It is OK to Choose a Sport for the Friends

Some kids choose their sport only because others in their class are doing it. Sport is a tool that kids use for social reasons, not just for health and enjoyment. The younger they are, they more likely they are to choose a sport for the company. This reason is valid and is healthy for kids. Some sports are more popular than others and it is good for kids to gain popularity just by participating in that sport.

Obviously, there is a fine line between choosing something and sticking to it and changing your mind only because a friend left or decided to do something else.

I tell my kids that life is about experiencing different things, so it is OK to swap activities, but the rule is that they stick to the basic program as long as it lasts (typically a school term) and only then make a change. If the course is for 8 weeks, I ask for a promise that they will stick to the 8 weeks with 100% motivation and dedication.

Sometimes, my kids have realised it was not exactly what they thought it would be, or that they did not like it, or that the coach was not right for them, but every opportunity like this has taught them a good lesson about choosing the right sport.

Make sure you tell your kids it is OK for them to switch from one activity to another and make sure your kids know your limits. If they are choosing or changing because of their friends, be happy, because they have good social sense (at the same time, stay on guard to make sure this does not control their life).

Sport Must Be Done for Positive Reasons

Sport is something kids do to be happy. If kids associates any kind of sport to pain, there is an absolute guarantee they are going to learn the negative things from this wonderful experience.

It is important to connect the sport with positive feelings. If the sport is to "lose weight" or "not to be clumsy" than every time the kid does this sport, it reinforces the fact they are fat or clumsy.

Some parents are so preoccupied with the "pain" reasons to do the sport that they talk too much about winning, disappointment, expectations. When you communicate with your kids about their sport make sure to connect this activity with joy, fun, health and not disappointment and needing to prove anything to mom or dad. The only expectations they need to have are to be happy while playing.

It Is the Kids' Responsibility to Have Fun

It happened to me too that I wanted the kids to enjoy things so much that I took on myself the responsibility to make them happy in their activities. This was a trap. With this attitude, I disempowered the kids to take the responsibility over their feelings. Whenever they were not happy, it was because mom (or dad) picked a bad coach, or mom and dad forced me to participate or any other excuse that kept them unhappy with their activities.

Make sure you clarify to your kids that you both choose activities based on what you know at any given time. You never know what is going to happen because you may be a lot of things but you are not a fortune teller. You cannot tell the coach is going to get married, or get a new job in a different city, or go through a rough patch with his girlfriend and things are not going to be fun, but you can guarantee that after the basic program, you will both be able to sit down and discuss the situation and asses whether to continue or stop.

It is important that you do not take that responsibility on yourself.

When you talk to your kids about how happy they are in the activity, make sure they understand it is their responsibility to enjoy it. Not mom and dad, not the coach and not their friends. Them. They can choose to find the fun in every activity. Enjoying the sport is the reason they do it in the first place.

Please come back and read more about kids and sport tomorrow.

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