Family Matters

I was sitting in the most wonderful place in the world – on the beach of Koh Samui in Thailand. My daughter was almost seven years old and my was just one yea old and was running on the beach naked. As the two of them were building sand castles, I learned the first thing I want my kids to know.

A 60 year-old man approached us and told us this story.

Statistically, 90% of all people do not have any goals in life. Life happens to them instead of them controlling their own destiny. I want my kids to be in the other 10%. This is so important, that all millionaires and billionaires have goals, but the difference is that billionaires read their goals more times each day.

The reason most people in our world are not successful is that they do not distinguish between being alive and living. Whereas being alive is watching a hockey game, living is actually playing.

This week, I had a talk with my 19-year-old daughter about leaving home. Because some of her friends had left home and then had to come back due to financial difficulties, we talked about the emotional aspect of “going back home”. When we talked, she told me about the feelings of shame, failure, disappointment and many other negative feelings that would be associated with having to go back home. It was after this talk that I realized there is one more thing I want my kids to know.

Sometimes, when people really try to go for something, their goals can be too big or set too far away so they easily lose track along the way. When I talk to my kids about knowing where to sail to, they always ask, “But Mom, how do I get there?”

I think the question “How do I do it?” is the most demoralizing thought people have during their dreaming stages.

Some time ago, my teen daughter went to a teen motivation seminar (that shall remain anonymous at this stage). Gal and I were very happy she was going to participate. As you can imagine, us two life coaching parents are happy with every opportunity for our kids to hear some of our “preaching” from someone else. However, she came back so disappointed, our heart dropped.

Many times, when we face difficulties, we look for ways to ease our load. The first thing that comes to mind is “Change your place, change your luck”. Although this is a Jewish proverb, I think most people want to believe in it, regardless of their faith. This is why people change jobs, move to another place and (unfortunately) switch to a new relationship so easily.

People want to believe that changing their address will change their life, when in fact it is their attitude that needs to change.