Well, this is tough.
I am sure that if you find out that guy suitable to marry, he has something.
Not everyone shows love the same way and it can be a result of upbringing.
It seems like your love language is physical touch.
What is your husband's love language?
Do you mean you are married to someone who do not like having sex with you?
Ouch!
As much as I think that it is OK for people to express love in different way and that not everyone likes hugging and cuddling, some interest in sexual relationship is necessary for a happy sustainable marriage.

I think the question you are raising is much bigger than "how can I help my husband recognise the importance of hugs and physical touch?" it is much bigger than that.

Didn't you hug and kiss and cuddle when you were dating?

Not having sex with your partner because he does not liked to be touched can be a huge obstacle in your relationship.he needs help! He needs to recognise that he needs help and he needs to seek this help - himself!

No one can help him if he does not want help.
Sexual relationship is part of any relationship and it is a very important part of any marriage. You need to ask yourself how long will you survive without that part in your life.
It may be wiser for you to sort out this before you bring kids to such relationship.

Do not blame him for growing up in a place that does not show affection. but in any relationship we need to find our "must". If it is a must for you, get out of this relationship as soon as possible(hopefully you can). If it is not a must for you, let go and try to get affection from others. I am sure you will be able to show your affection to your kids.

Good luck
Ronit

I am recently married to a man who does not like affection, at all, this means our sex life is also non-existant as he doesn't like to be touched. His whole family are the same way anti-affection.

How do I help him to see that being affectionate isn't an afflixion and that he could love it, if only he was open to it? I came from a very affectionate family and the fact that he cannot be affectionate with me goes against every grain in my body, particulary when we want to have children and I would like them to have the loving upbringing I had.

Any suggestions?

Lady84

Thank you for sharing your experience.
It sounds from what people write ( and also form my experience and clients experience) that our parents generation did not hug much.
I think they were not hugged at all.
When I think about my grandparents I don't think they even hugged us, so, I can't blame my parents for not hugging much.
It was wonderful to read that you focus on the people that did hug and took strength from it. It is a good lesson for everyone. focus on the good things, more of it will come.
In a month, I'm off to Melbourne to run the "Huges without Borders" on the streets of Melbourne. I hope to find many good huggers like you.

Happy day
Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com

I am not sure I agree with you. I don't think gender has to do with this, though I agree with you that in our society, man are so disencouraged to hug that they think they don't need it.
I had a husband like you. well, I still have him, but he is not like you anymore.
Gal said the same thing about me. I meet people, I hug them, man and women. I always did. well, not always, I think it started when I was 16 and Gal was my boyfriend, I learned to accept touch in a positive way.
anyway...
for years, he looked at me and said "how can you hug people you don't love?"
you see, Gal had a rule, you only hug the poeple you love and he only loved ( his words were, really love) me and the kids and he did hug us a lot.
When Gal became a coach and understood the need for touch he have made a choice to change this rule and started hugging good friends. He said it was strange but worked. It took him 3 month and he became a happy hugger.
from early age, we teach girls that caring and hugging is good for them ( go to Toys R Us and see how many caring for a baby toys girls have and how many caring for a baby are there for boys) boys are in the worst position, if they express caring in a pysical way, they are considerd Gays -fearing people think they are gay, boys stay away from other boys and do not welcome touch.
I think physicaly we all need touch/ hugs. I can understand why you think you need them less, it is already a cultural thing.
you need 12 hugs a day, if you get them from your wife and the kids, you'll be fine.
If you want to see Gal hugging people on the street ( the untihugger man himself) watch the videos of Be Happy in LIFE hugging on the streets.

http://www.youtube.com/behappyinlife
and come again.
Sending you a hug
Ronit Baras
http://www.ronitbaras.com

Great idea.
hugging friends can really help.
It is great your friends are huggers too.
Maybe the best tip we can give poeple is to hang around hugging people.

Thank you for visiting my site, come again.

Ronit

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
There is no point in feeling guilty, it belongs to the past.
I hope you do have people you love hugging with now.
I had family member that used to pinch us, it was so painful, I hated him, I was afraid of him. years later, when he stoped doing it, I still had this fear feeling around him.
My parents didn't hug much but I was a "street girl" so we played on the street, lots of fights and touch, I don't think I missed a lot. though with my own kids, I had to make a decision to hug even if it was strange. My daughter made it easy for me, she is 19 now, she still hugs, never say anything around her friends. She has some friends that we hug them when they come over. ( we think they like coming over)
I guess I was lucky because, Gal, my husband, comes from a hugging family. he helped me a lot.
I'm happy that my kids are going to say: "I came from a hugging family"

hugs from me
Ronit

I feel guilty about this sometimes. She hugged us frequently, but still at age 32 can't stop feeling "grossed out" by my mother's hugs.

It never bothered me when my dad hugged me though, but then, he didn't hug me often.