Family Matters

I remember the day my daughter was born. Gal and I moved from being a couple taking care of ourselves, concentrating on our needs and aspirations, into being a family. It was a big feeling of responsibility mixed with joy. It was the beginning of a different journey.

Questioning is an excellent way to gain understanding and knowledge of each other, of ourselves and the world around us. According to Oxford English, to question is “The action of inquiring or asking. The starting or investigating of a problem: inquiry into a matter. To inquire or seek after”. As parents, we can use questions in two ways to improve our relationships and further our understanding of our kids.

Communication is an important part of everyone’s life and conflicts are inevitable. No two people react the same way to all situations. If you choose the aggressive approach, either physical or verbal, you risk the relationship, but if you choose the passive approach, you risk the relationship too.

An assertive approach from both parties can contribute a lot to the communication and the relationship between the two parties.

Here are 32 techniques that will get you to act assertively in now time…

People who are happily married are a good source of inspiration to couples who struggle so let’s try to learn from those who have been in “the business” of marriage for a long time.

I heard about assertiveness long before I knew what it meant, at a time when I did not express myself much. The fear of rejection was so huge that I was willing to suffer a lot for it. Just today, I talked about a problem I had on my vocal cord. Since I was really young (age 5-6) I had a huge polyp on my vocal cord and when I spoke, I had to take a deep breath to get enough air for 2 or 3 words.

My mother always said, “When you marry a person, you also marry their family”, and she was right. Lots of people have tense relationships with their in-laws, and many stories have been told about the mother-in-law.

“Marriage is the foundation of the family and the family is the foundation of society: if we strengthen marriage, we strengthen the family, we strengthen the children and we strengthen the community. If your goal is to help improve the world, marriage is as good a place as any to start” - Diane Sollee, Grand Rapids Family Summit, 1998

Here are 5 things parents do a lot, which invariably get them into trouble with their kids, and a good solution for each of them. Regardless of your parenting style, these tips are worth remembering and implementing at home.

Soon, Gal and I are going to celebrate our 28 years of our life together. Every year that passes, we get more and more requests for our relationship program from people who are considering divorce. The good news is that they look for solutions before they “turn off the light and send the actors home”. The bad news is they are in an emotional turmoil and are very very unhappy.

During school holidays, the younger kids (now 12 and 6) wanted to sleep over in Eden’s room. They took mattresses, their special blankets and pillows, migrated to her room and left their room empty and bare. Eden was happy for them to join the party …