Family Matters

It is amazing how many people struggle with life. Life has become so hectic and difficult for most people that many can only focus on what is going to happen today, tomorrow, next month and maybe, only maybe, next year.

I think if you scanned people’s brain, you would find that their brain is busy, busy, busy, thinking about the dishes, the bills, the alarm clock and shopping with only small breaks for planning next month’s birthday party. Most people are in survival mode. When I ask about next year or what is going to happen in ten years, they look at me as if I fell from the sky.

Here are 5 things parents do a lot, which invariably get them into trouble with their kids, and a good solution for each of them. Regardless of your parenting style, these tips are worth remembering and implementing at home.

Every person dreams about extreme happiness, a time when we do only the things we want, spend most of our time with the people we love the most, have the money to give ourselves everything we want, are at the peak of our health and our life is perfect.

Soon, Gal and I are going to celebrate our 28 years of our life together. Every year that passes, we get more and more requests for our relationship program from people who are considering divorce. The good news is that they look for solutions before they “turn off the light and send the actors home”. The bad news is they are in an emotional turmoil and are very very unhappy.

I have learned that life is short. You never know when will be the last day of your life. If there is anything you know you will regret not doing or saying, do it or say it now!

Many of the conflicts between parents and kids are related to household chores. What usually happens is that parents are (of course) responsible for the household chores and find it very difficult to handle everything by themselves, so they ask the kids to share the load of cleaning and taking care of the house.

This week, I went to my young daughter’s school with a group of other mothers to celebrate the teacher’s wedding. On the card from all the families in the class, I wrote “Happy wedding day”, but I did not think it was the right blessing. You see, my wedding day was not a happy day at all (too much family politics), but it did not change the fact that Gal and I have been together for over 27 years and are still very much in love. In my head, a happy wedding day is no guarantee for a happy marriage and I am sad for it. I would certainly like it to be a sign for the years to come, but it is not.

Last week, we met Eli, my mechanic, and talked about his checklist for car maintenance, the one he uses before returning each car to its owner. Well, here (at last) is a self-esteem checklist - your very own list of the parts of your self-esteem. When you examine yourself in each of these areas against your own full score (your ideal). You can still drive when the petrol is not on full, but it is much better to drive on a full tank (less worries, less fuel contamination). You can still function if your tyres are not new, but if when they are too worn, you risk skidding and having an accident.

One major difference I see between happy parents and unhappy parents is in the gap between their expectations and the fulfilment of their expectations. Basically, if your expectations are high and are not fulfilled, you will be disappointed and unhappy, but if most of your expectations are fulfilled, you will be satisfied and happy.