Family Matters

Last week, on our way back home from a weekend at friends’ house, our 12-year-old son Tsoof asked if we thought he was a “super kid”.

In the past year, we talked to him a lot about three kids in his music department that everyone, including us, think of as “super kids”. They are older that Tsoof and are very very very smart and talented. All three of them are wonderful role models for him.

Well, this made us wonder about Tsoof too.

Letting go of limiting beliefs is one of the most challenging things in the process of change. There are many bananas out there, far better and tastier. If you find one that is not good for you, notice the cage, slowly let go and slide your hand out to freedom.

This question usually comes up after parents are informed by their child’s teacher that the child is not keeping up with their schoolwork. However, although the indication given is academic, the problem is most often emotional.

Single-sex schools originated during the 18th century, when rich families sent their sons to “special” schools. Only later, in the 19th century, when the awareness of the value of education increased, were girls also sent to study. Single-sex schools were very popular in England and now also in Australia.

Today, the single-sex schools are popular among religious populations and even more during high school.

Last week, in Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 1), I wrote about the definition of self-esteem. This week, let us explore how school promotes low self-esteem in children and shapes our society in the opposite way.

Since our self-esteem is based on our perception of ourselves and school is the place we spend most of our time between the ages of 6 and 12, every school experience either increases or decreases our self-esteem.

Possibly the greatest optimist in history was Thomas Edison. He went through 1,500 attempts to come up with the right wire to light his bulb. He never thought that each attempt will repeat because he was not the same person after that attempt. The Thomas Edison preparing for his 1,500th attempt knew something that the Thomas Edison preparing for his 1,499th attempt did not know.

Imagine that knowledge is blood making its way into the heart and the emotional problem blocks it from moving forward and causes a heart attack. Yes, we can go through heart surgery but any doctor will prescribe a good eating plan with exercise and stress elimination, otherwise it will happen again.

It all started 18 years ago, when I wrote the “Garden of Eden” program, which put most of the emphasis emotional intelligence. I started an early childhood centre with kids aged 1½ to 4 and proved that excellence depends on the teaching, not on the kids.

Let me make myself absolutely clear: I am against the use of labels and medication to “cure” concentration problems and hyperactive behaviour. In 22 years of professional work, I have met plenty of people with these challenges, and there were ALWAYS other ways to make them perform better and feel better. Always!

For kids to be happy, they need to have boundaries. In the fish bowl, the fish cannot swim past the glass. Tiny fish prefer small, familiar, friendly bowls because they feel safer in them. No matter how many times they bang their heads against the glass, it still makes them feel safe, because it keeps the water around them and potential threats away from them.