Family Matters

In the past few weeks, I overheard talk about a teenager (let’s call him Jonathan), who used to be friendly and “normal”, besides being very talented, but who recently started to miss classes, show up late, fail various subjects and behave indifferently. One speculation was that he might have started using drugs, but he was clearly troubled.

The State Triangle shows the relationships between our thoughts and feelings (mindset), our words (language) and our posture and actions (body language). Change on and the others will change.

My mom used to say that kids have an easy life, but I wonder about this. Every time my kids (my own kids or kids I teach or coach) react to difficulties and challenges, I wonder about it again. I know my mom meant that not knowing too much and having no heavy responsibility is a bliss, but I say that not having enough life experiences, not having enough skills and not being able to express yourself properly can be the opposite of bliss sometimes.

Unlike what the title suggests, most people in the world believe that Friday the 13th is a scary combination. Most people believe that if the 13th falls on Friday, bad things will happen. Believe it or not, believing in it makes it true.

Fears are very natural in every person’s life. From an early stage of our life, we are scared of various things. As we grow older and learn more about life, more of the world makes sense to us and many of our fears disappear.

Unfortunately, many kids are not treated seriously when they express their fears and this makes them even more afraid. Fear has many faces and symptoms and when it is not handled well, it can get out of proportion and lead to growing up with anxiety, panic attacks and depression.

This is the second part of yesterday’s Be a Good Sport!, which includes the last 5 things we need to do as parents to make sure our kids take the positive out of sports rather than the negative.

We all like watching “Heroes” on TV and reading books about strong or creative people who have done things others did not expect them to do. Hearing, reading about or meeting such people is very motivating. Heroism is the courage to face fears, therefore fear and heroes go together.

Fear is a basic human emotion that works like a survival instinct. In a sense, fear helps protect us from danger, though it has reached a point where we see danger even in places where it does not exist.

My immediate answer is “I wish”. I really do. Think about it – how easy it would be if all we needed is to set a goal, write it down (to make sure we will not change it often, based on circumstances) and let the universe take care of it, right?

But I am a person of action. I believe in motion as the ultimate way to growth and I that action speaks louder than words. While the universe is taking care of some of your goals, just because you wanted them, your actions will help you with the rest. When you set a goal and wait for an external source to fulfil it, you fail to help yourself and miss the opportunity to grow.

This happens to many people. They get up one day feeling sick and tired of trying so hard and determine to change. Some of us are lucky to be really sick and are forced to listen to our body.

Sickness is our body’s way of talking to us. When we are sick, the level of poison in our body has reached a warning level. Having been very sick during childhood, I was shocked to discover when I was just 16 that my thoughts were pure poison. I had bad thoughts about myself, my abilities and my talents. I had bad thoughts about others around me and, of course, I never took any responsibility over my life. Not that I didn’t want to, but I do not think I knew what it meant.

At every moment of your life, you can choose whether to be happy or not! Notice that you are given the option.

The great thing about happiness is that it is on a scale – your own scale. No one can tell you what will make you happy and you have the absolute power to determine your happiness and to achieve it. Happiness is your choice.

Another great thing about the pursuit of happiness is that it has a compounding effect (much like accumulating wealth). It is a journey and the main thing in it is to START NOW!

Here are some specific tips you can blend into your every day.