Family Matters

This week, I had a talk with my 19-year-old daughter about leaving home. Because some of her friends had left home and then had to come back due to financial difficulties, we talked about the emotional aspect of “going back home”. When we talked, she told me about the feelings of shame, failure, disappointment and many other negative feelings that would be associated with having to go back home. It was after this talk that I realized there is one more thing I want my kids to know.

People who are happily married are a good source of inspiration to couples who struggle so let’s try to learn from those who have been in “the business” of marriage for a long time.

When I sit in my car, driving the kids to school or just on my way to the supermarket, I like watching people in their cars. Some funny people talk to themselves. Yes, I know it may look like they are on the phone, but I am talking about the crazy people that actually talk to themselves.

I call these people “MacGyvers”. Do you remember the TV series with this guy who was narrating the whole time? We heard his thoughts all the time wherever he went.

Last week, we met Eli, my mechanic, and talked about his checklist for car maintenance, the one he uses before returning each car to its owner. Well, here (at last) is a self-esteem checklist - your very own list of the parts of your self-esteem. When you examine yourself in each of these areas against your own full score (your ideal). You can still drive when the petrol is not on full, but it is much better to drive on a full tank (less worries, less fuel contamination). You can still function if your tyres are not new, but if when they are too worn, you risk skidding and having an accident.

It all started when our daughter Eden was a year and a half old. She had Pneumonia and high fever and she whizzed all day. After one dose of Antibiotics (by the way, 18 years ago, it was every 6 hours, even if it meant waking her up at night), we had about a week or two off and the whizzing started again. First kid, young parents, we went straight to see our baby specialist. He was the head of the Paediatric Ward at our local hospital and we went to his private clinic every time something happened.

Many parents report frustration and doubt regarding their parenting when their wonderful children reach teen age. They dread this period and express tension and even fear. Instead of getting closer to their growing children, their child’s first teen birthday marks the formation of “the generation gap”. Teens become emotional, irrational and mysterious. Parents ask themselves “Why do teens behave the way they do? Is it hormonal? Why are they so emotional? Is it normal?”

A very common human expression is “I wish I could go back in time and change something.Then my life would be different. I wish I could have a second chance”. Let’s explore this a bit, shall we?