Teen Mocktail Party

November 20th, 2008 |

A few weeks ago, my son Tsoof had a birthday party. As a 13-year-old, a day party was not cool enough anymore, so he asked to have an evening party - a dancing party.

Gal and I thought it would be lovely to have an evening party. Where we came from, evening parties were part of life. I remember that from Grade 4(!), everyone who celebrated a birthday would invite the whole class to a dancing party on Friday evening. We would dance, play games, eat snacks, have cake and sing happy birthday songs.

With 30 kids in each class, we had 30 parties every year. Some kids were also allowed to have other parties besides their birthday. We all envied those cool kids. Everyone was invited to the party, the teacher would write the notice on the blackboard (we had blackboards then), everyone copied it into their homework diary and there was no need to RSVP - we just came and had a good time!

Party hats In high school, it was a bit different. Kids handed individual invitations only to their friends and their friends' friends, but still had many kids at every party.

Based on this wonderful childhood experience, we were very happy for Tsoof to have his evening dancing party. Eden, our events management graduate, led the planning and suggested a night club theme, and the preparations started.

Tsoof handed invitation to about 30 teens, Gal bought a strobe light on eBay, Eden organized a fancy mocktail menu, Eden and I went shopping, the kids selected dance music and made a compilation disk and there was lots of excitement the week before the party.

Here are the things parents were concerned about:

Will there be adult supervision?
Will the kids be served with alcohol? I have to say that I did not know what a "mocktail" was at first, so I could understand this concern.
Will the kids be exposed to anything parents would not want them to be exposed to?
Will the kids be respectful to the hosts?

Naturally, when your kids do not go to evening parties often, you do not have the answers to these questions and you may feel uncomfortable. Eventually, some kids did not come because their parents were so uncomfortable they did not even call to find out. One of my clients said she wants to talk the hosting parents before her son goes to their house, but he thinks she is a pain, which explains why some parents may not call.

Party decorations I wish they had asked, because teens love parties, they love dancing and they love being together and if we do not give them opportunities to experience fun in a safe place, we will end up worrying during their teen years every time they are out of our sight.

In the end, there were about 25 teens in our living room. Eden arranged the corner of the room like a bar, with plastic cocktail glasses and strange-looking drinks made of juices and cordials, with real strawberries and orange slices on top of the glass - it was so beautiful. Gal and Noff dressed up as bouncers, with black clothes, sunglasses and the mobile phone's earpiece. The strobe light was flickering, the music was pumping and the kids danced, drank and played some nice games.

When it was time to go home, parents came to pick their kids up, but they did not want to leave. I think it was a great party to show them they can have fun and enjoyment without drinking or doing silly things - they were just wonderful!

People having a party The kids' parents said we were brave to host a bunch of teens in our house and told us about their concerns. Most of them talked about McDonalds parties, skating or bowling parties, as long as they did not have to host at home.

We have three kids, who celebrate their birthdays every year of their life with many friends and always at home. We host friends in our house even when it is not their birthday. We have had many parties so far. We have had pool parties, morning parties, afternoon parties and evening parties and we have never ever had a problem with kids' behavior. They have never done seriously stupid thing, they were respectful, they had fun, they laughed a lot and we have never regretted choosing to have a party, which makes me wonder:

Why do people think kids are trouble at parties if they never have parties at their own house?

If you have an answer to this, please write it in the comment box below.

Until next time, party on!
Ronit

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Posted in Parenting, Relationships, teens teenagers |

Tags: acceptance, behavior, kids children, lifestyle, parenting, Relationships, social, teens teenagers, tolerance

4 Responses to “Teen Mocktail Party”

E:

May 18, 2009 at 2:01 PM

I find some parents really annoying in this area Ronit!
In some cases even when children are just invited for a lunch or for a 'play', some parents um and ahhh about it until the last second and then find some utterly ridiculour excuse for their child not to go like they have to clean their room. I find this behaviour really strange. My parents always encouraged me to go to parties and to have parties.
Ronit Baras:

July 28, 2009 at 1:11 PM

Hi E,

Again, great to read your comments.
I am glad you like the articles.
I agree, I find some of then annoying too, however, I know that they do this because they are afraid and fear has this ability to clutter people's mind.

you have lucky parents.
My parents never allowed parties, I had maybe 1 or 2 and it is sad.
I found out that most parents are afraid of having too many kids in their house or would not want their kids to be in a place when there are many kids and they are afraid they are not supervised.
I forgive all those parents, I hope you too.

Happy day
Ronit

The Motivational Speaker
Debby:

November 10, 2009 at 11:56 AM

Thankyou for this great message.

I was just looking in google about mocktails for my daughters 14th birthday party. And came across your page.

We Love having our kids parties at home too.
Its such an important time for us. And I know as they get older there will be times that they would rather just be with friends than hang out with the oldies. But at 14, 8 and 3 we are making the most of it while we can.

I was wondering if doing a mocktail pool party was a great idea. But after reading this I'm excited. Your so right its about teaching the kids/teens that they can have fun with out being drunk.

As a child I never had birthdays. And now as a parent my childrens birthdays are the most important days of my life. Its the day they came into this world, its the day I was bless to to become a parent. On the minute that they where born I always make sure I give them a hug and tell them how lucky I am to have them.

Everyday is a blessing,

Have a great day,
Deb ... in Australia
Ronit Baras:

November 10, 2009 at 3:16 PM

Hi Debby,

It has been a year since I wrote this article and this year, a week a go, my son had a party again. This time because he was busy busy kid we had to book it late and many of his friends were busy with end of year graduations, ceremonies and other obligation and you should have seen him that day. he was devastated that only 7 kids RVSPed. He is such a happy and funny kid that it was a torture to watch him in such state.
In the morning, we talked to him about the importance of that day ( We have a rule at home that their birth is so important to us that we celebrate it for a month - ha, ha, I like the idea) and that those who come, want to celebrate with him and those who could not come probably couldn't come.
We talked about games and having fun and came up with some things they can do together.
You won't believe it. There were 7 kids. one of them felt uncomfortable for some reason and sat on the side and did not participate much so with him, there were 8 kids and they were dancing, laughing and playing and had the time of their life. They were so funny and wonderful that when they left, our son said he had a great time and he was so happy. Just 7 kids and a great party. They are wonderful kids.

I think kids would love a mocktail party in the pool. kids are so happy with something special, they will be respectable and appreciative. if you just tell them to keep their drinks from the pool, they will be fine.

Happy party
Ronit