Should my child repeat a year at school or not?
March 19th, 2008 | 
Author: This question usually comes up after parents are informed by their child's teacher that the child is not keeping up with their schoolwork. However, although the indication given is academic, the problem is most often emotional.
If the reason for the child's poor performance is academic, I believe there is no point repeating a year. If there is a real difficulty, time is not the cure! It is better to offer special support to the child during and after school, or in extreme cases, in a special school.
However, if the question regarding repeating is because of emotional difficulty, then repeating a year is always going to help the kid go through their emotional development at a pace that is more suitable for them without the clock ticking "Today, you are 7 years and 124 days old, so from today you need to behave this way".
There is much confusion and disagreement about kids' emotional development. Many parents think that maturity is tightly linked to date of birth, as if the body has a clock that changes status with the birthday party.
Using dates as the criteria to moving from one class to another does not always suit kids' emotional development. A kid whose birthday is in January is no match for one who celebrated their birthday the previous June, although they are in the same class. The amazing thing is that even a child celebrating their birthday in January may not be as emotionally developed as another born on the same day.
The reason kids are distributed between classes based on age is that it is easy for the teacher and the system, but it is not necessarily good for the kids. If kids were distributed based on emotional development, there would be more composite classes with a 3-year spread.
There are points in a child's schooling when it is easier for them to stay back another year than other times. Essentially, the earlier, the easier, so the day care and prep years are the easiest to repeat. This is because kids are not aware yet and are much quicker to adjust to the new situation. The boost in performance will boost their confidence and they will simply do better for the rest of their schooling.
In later years, it is best for a child to repeat a year at another school, allowing them to avoid the failure stigma. If the child's family stays in the same place, such a transition happens naturally only when moving from primary to high school.
The third option is to put the child in composite classes, if those exist at their school. This way, the kid can work comfortably at the academic level that is suitable for them, while having a wide range of kids. They can choose older friends or younger friends in a composite class, where the accuracy in choosing the right emotional buddy is higher, not to mention this provides better preparation for real life (how many people do you know whose partners, family members, friends and colleagues were all born in the same year?).
Many parents adopt the approach "They'll grow out of it". My opinion is that if your child struggles, it is best to take action before getting to school, so keep your eyes and ears open when they're little!
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- Repeating a School Year
- Should I Choose a Single-sex or Mixed School for My Child?
- Repeating a Year (revisited)
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i dont know why my child cant memory long time he study eveyday 3,4 hours after 2,3 days when i ask his question in course book he forget everything
he catch it immediately but his mail problem he forget early this is my problem he is very shy cild he cant share his problem i try to be a friendly i dont know whats wrong wih him this is my serous problem if u have solve my problem this is very great ful to u
sandra
Hi Sandra,
Children have different "memories". If your child is auditory, he may not remember the things he reads in a book, so you can try reading to him, or advising him to read aloud. He may also need to move while he learns.
Use the search box at the top right of the page (under "related posts") to search for "communication styles" and try to determine your child's style. Then, help your child arrange their learning for better results.
Whatever the outcome, instead of treating it as a "problem", it is better to encourage learning when it happens.
Good luck,
Ronit
Kids Coaching
Hello Ronit,
i have a dilema of deciding weather my son should repeat prep or go onto grade 1.He has been assesed by an educational physycologist and speach therapists and it is decided that he has speach and language delays and is 1 yr behind the average child in his yr.It has been recommended that repeating dosnt always help children and my belief is that why should he go to grade 1 when he wil not be able to do any of the wrk i felt that would give him lower self esteem and other implications could come into play such as becoming the class clown to compensate for his lack of knowledge.
It has been put to us that him repeating could have a similar impact on him as his peers will be going up and he will not be. My husband and i cannot agree on a decision as we dnt know wat the best decision is with the least amount of self issues.
The teachers keep telling us u cannot know what the right outcome is until its done and played out for the yr as a light could switch on for him nxt yr.
Please help us or guide us with this decision the school has given us 1 wk to make our minds up.
Regards very confused Donna
I have a child that is behind in her reception class and I feel exactly the same as Donna why are they putting her in a class, when they know she won't be able to do the work.
I've been told it's because it's school and government policy and her self asteem will be affected if she's held back a year.
Surely it will be affected when she can't do the work and is left way behind her peers
HI Donna,
I feel so bad about seeing your question here and me not answering...
I know it is a bit late now but this is what I think about repeating a year in school.
If repeating is advised - prep is the best time to do it or the transition year to high school.
Some schools change classes every year so kids have new friends anyway so they don't feel behind their peers because they change friends every year.
Speech problems are developmental so repeating another year and supporting her in that year is a good idea while repeating a year without any extra support will not benefit her.
I am sure that there is a risk of damaging the self esteem but the question is always which one is going to be worst.
your teacher is right, there is no "perfect choice". if you keep her one year, it is a risk. if you go to grade 1 you take a risk and the system do not like taking responsibility on that risk.
I would say, keep her another year in prep only because I learned to trust the parent. If the kid is struggling too much in school and parents feel they can't cope, it means they can't cope.
Another reason for me to say, keep her in prep one more year is that because it is prep, the risk is smaller.
Good luck
Ronit
Family Matters
HI Jo,
As I wrote to Donna, keeping kids another year is better in transition years. prep to 1 or if your school starts at year 1 than from 1 to 2 or primary to high school. Academic is not a good reason to do that but only developmental reasons.
Schools have different philosophies about things but after all , you are taking the full responsibility on your kids schooling because you are going to be with him and support him all they way up.
look at me, I think that putting up a year because kids are smart is not a good idea. As a special education teacher I will recommend parents to stimulate kids and not jump and what happened to me?
My son was very smart and started having problems due to low stimulation in prep class. he could read books, Chapter books at age 5 and thought that everyone around was stupid.
The only option the school gave me was to jump one year level. Now, I tell other people not to do that and I needed to do that. I was not happy at all!
I dedicated 6 month to check my options. assessments, psychologist and realized that in this rate, giving him extra stimulation, buying him advanced books to work in class, being in a constant connection with the teacher is going to happen every year, every year, every year and I didn't think I could take that risk that every year we will be at the mercy of the teacher so we have decided to jump.
Still, if you ask me, I would not recommend this to anyone but with the circumstances we had, it was the best choice.
So, sometimes, it is not what you want but the best option to choose. remember, what the school thinks is one thing but you are the customer and what you think counts!
Happy parenting
Ronit
Family Matters
My son is in grade 4 and will be 10 in July. He is in a composite 3/4. He is emotionally young and has a mild auditory processing problem which affects his listening and completing of tasks. But he is very smart especially in maths. We cannot see him coping with a 5/6 class next year and more so at high school and this is the best year to repeat if we go ahead with it. HELP! He is not that confident now and we worry about his self-esteem if we do this. But in the bigger picture it seems like the right thing to do.others out there with similar age children who can help?
Hi Lindsay,
For the auditory problem, you may be able to find a solution through a speech therapist. This may also help with the emotional side, as your son's confidence may increase with better processing.
If you would like some personal advice, please contact us.
Kind regards,
Gal
Hi Lindsay,
I would recommend reading some about Auditory kids because many times they are diagnosed with auditory processing problem and nothing is really wrong with them, they just think differently and the way school and class structured is not very good for them.
Read about auditory kids here:
http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/how-to-stimulate-auditory-kids/
About repeating a year.
I personally against repeating a year unless it is done early early and kids need more emotional time. Academically repeating a year is a waste of time - in my opinion.
Emotional support needs to happen regardless of whether your child stays a year or not. Give him what he needs. If school did not give him that when he was in grade 4 - what makes you think they will give it next year.
When you say, he will not cope, what do you mean?
in your case, composite 4/5 could be a better option for him.
If your kid is auditory - make sure his teacher is not yelling too much because this could shut him totally fro absorbing any information. (oh, do not use angry tone of voice with him at all- this is just not the good strategy with auditory kids)
As Gal said, if you want a personal advice, write me through the contact us page.
Happy parenting
Ronit
Family Matters
[...] you may know from my post Should my child repeat a year at school or not, I believe that academic performance is not a big factor in deciding whether to repeat a year. [...]
interesting article. the system is broken and needs to be fixed.
Hi Lower Child Support ,
Thanks, I am glad you liked it.
The "System" is all we have. There are wonderful things in this system and we sure need to do our best to improve the parts that not functioning very well.
Happy parenting
Ronit