No More War

Last week, When Gal wrote about the dark side of Quid Pro Quo, it made me think immediately of solutions to that effect.

You see, much like in Gal's example of fighting with your husband, wife, kids, your own parents or just anybody else, life is full of little personal wars - you do something I think is hurtful, I do something to hurt you back.

Wars have become part of our life. I think that as we grow up, we shift from "living" to "surviving". If we do not fight someone else, we fight ourselves, our desires and dreams, using norms and external rules of behavior.

The wars with others are loud and produce feelings of revenge and anger. The war inside echoes in our mind and produces regrets and low self esteem. But in wars, there are no winners, only those who lose more and those who lose less.

This reminds me of the story of the line. I think this story speaks for itself. Enjoy!

The story of the line

One day, a Math professor walked into his class for a lecture. As he entered, he saw his students fighting with one another. They were yelling and using personal insults, while looking angry and bitter.

The professor went to the board, quietly drew a 1m line on it and asked his students to suggest ways to shorten the line.

Most of the students suggested erasing parts of the line. Some offered to chop the head of it, others the bottom and one even suggested to break it the middle.

But then the professor said, "I am looking for a way to shorten the line without touching it".

The students were confused. They stared at the line and thought about possible solution. It was not an easy challenge and they could not find the answer for a while.

When they had given up, the professor went to the board again and drew another line, a little longer than the first, next to the first line. Then, he turned to the students and said:

"To make someone else smaller, you do not need to hurt them, chop their head of, clip their bottom or break them. All you need to do is make yourself bigger".

Is it possible to live without wars?

I hope so.

Let's raise kids who do not need to fight wars by growing bigger. Let's show them how through our own example!

Loving parenting,
Ronit

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February 22nd, 2010 | Author: Ronit Baras

Posted in Relationships / Marriage | Tags: behavior / discipline, beliefs, choice, communication, Emotional Intelligence, focus, how to, motivation, parenting, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, Relationships / Marriage

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Todd
Um, that doesn't shorten the line at all. The line is still exactly the same size, it's just next to a bigger one now.
http://bestgiftsfor.com billf
This is not only true for people of like ages, it's also true for adults dealing with children. How many times have you seen an adult treat a child as if that child was an adult and could understand? Yelling at the child for something all children do, or god forbid, even hitting the child. There is nothing sadder than seeing a child looking at an adult with fear and trying to understand what is going on. It's true what they say - many adults should not have children.
http://www.ukmobilephonereviews.com kristine
Thank God no more war. It is not good to have a enemy. God told us we should love our enemy. We should avoid hurting one another and be friendly.It reminds me of mt classmate before when I was in grade Six. My classmate throw me eraser and i grab her hair. And when i got home my mom told me what happen to you and i told her i got fight. My mom mad at me and she said to me. why you do that it is no good to fight. and from that I've learn to be more patience. Thanks for reminding me of my elementary days. More power to your site! God bless ;-)
http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras
Todd,
Well, short and long are relevant activities.
Do you know that 20 years ago, when I worked on a special project called "Creative thinking" I did a whole unit on proportion and we played with the line story. The kids were in grade 1 -6 and they all understood that you can't say short, long, big, small if you do not have anything to compare it too.
Believe it or not, even our identity is formed in comparison to others.
So, yes, you are right, it did nothing to the short line, only made it look shorter.
Happy day
Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras
Hi Bill,
you are so right it is sad.
It is correct regarding adults and kids too.
There are so many parents without the confidence that they use lots of power to gain confidence.
Using external power is always a sign they lack inner power.
In my workshops I work a lot about the difference between the two.
I don't know, I find it hard to say that some people should not have kids but I do think that they must take part in parent education program.
It is the most important tasks we will ever have in life and it does not get the attention it needs.
Even on a society level, so much money is spent on kids but not on education for their parents.
I find it sad and am determined to change it!
Thanks again
Happy weekend
Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/about/ Ronit Baras
Kirstine,
I hope that we won't have war.
In my opinion, loving the enemy is not a good solution.
The best solution is never to have an enemy. Enemy is a threat, I hope we will never see threat in others.
you are lucky that you have learned that fighting is not a way to live life from the age of 6.
I can imagine all kids understanding this from grade 1 - That would make our world peaceful.
Thanks , come again,
Happy day
Ronit

Family Matters

"Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids"

No More War

The story of the line

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