Family Matters

Every person dreams about extreme happiness, a time when we do only the things we want, spend most of our time with the people we love the most, have the money to give ourselves everything we want, are at the peak of our health and our life is perfect.

I think most of our energy in life is spent on bridging the gap between our reality and our dreams, but this energy is wasted if we do not know where we are going.

Many people, when I ask them about what is going to happen in ten years, they say they do not know. I wonder how they can bring themselves to that day without knowing that is where they are going. Most people feel they have no control over what is going to happen in ten years, so they give up planning.

One of my coaches told me that when he was 18, he went to a personal development seminar and the presenter gave them a task to complete - to list the 100 things they wanted to do in their lifetime - and they had to finish it within a week. I remember that when he told me that, I thought that one week was a short time to make this important list. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that the reasons it seemed hard for me were:

1. I had never written my list and I thought that 100 things would come up to my mind in a second, but when I tried, I could only come up with a few.
2. I was afraid that writing the list would be like carving it in stone.
3. I was too worried about how I would get there.

The 3 difficulties I had with making my list of 100 things taught me 3 things.

The first thing was that we need to dedicate time to dreaming. Whenever I have a wish, a dream, a desire, I need to write it down. On different days of my life, I want different things.

If you can dedicate a bit of time to preparing the list, over years, when the sun shines, you can look at the list and start ticking things off it. Your list is your street sings in life. They will direct you to the right destination. Make sure you have many signs.

The second thing was that I can always change what I want. If I write on my list that I want to have 3 kids and I change my mind, I can always update my list and have 4 kids. It was strange to realise that I am afraid of my own desires.

If you have the same fears, remember, things do not happen just because we write them down, although I wish they did. Make a list, look at your list from time to time and update it.

The third thing was that thinking about the way we are going to get there is only an obstacle to reaching our dreams. When I am young, I can dream about having 3 children, even if I do not know what it means to be a mother. We can dream of a life of abundance and happiness even if we do not have it in our life yet, the making it true is a different chapter of our life.

So I went home and started writing my list. Every New Year, I sit together with the whole family and everyone gets a chance to add and update their “100 things I want to do in my lifetime” list. Even kids can dream. At first, the dreams will not go so far but with practice, they will learn to dream about faraway places, with more thrills and adventures.

Here is a list of things that can give you ideas about your 100 things you want to do in your lifetime list.

1. Subjects you want to study
2. Places you want to see
3. Experiences you want to have
4. Food you want to eat
5. People you want to meet
6. Countries you want to visit
7. Hobbies you want to have
8. Partner you want to have
9. Children you want to have
10. Things you want to have
11. Things you want to buy
12. Sports you want to try
13. Health state you want to be in
14. How you would like to look
15. Feelings you want to feel
16. Gifts you want to give
17. The kind of lifestyle you want to have
18. The friends you want to have
19. The way you want to spend time with your friends
20. The relationship you want to have with your family
21. The financial freedom you want to be in
22. The toys you would want to buy yourself
23. The charity you want to contribute to
24. The thing you want to be remembered by

Remember, this list is a lifetime list. It starts from today and ends when you say goodbye. There is a lot of life between now and then. Make the best of it on your way, and create some pointers to remind you where to go.

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