Family Matters

Here is a question I was asked by a writer from a famous women’s magazine, who wanted my opinion as a life coach.

My girl friend is getting married soon and I feel a bit left out. I feel she is moving on without me. What is the best way to ensure our friendship stays the same, now that we are on different life paths?

A friend’s wedding is an event that creates mixed feelings. We are happy for our friend, but sad for us. It is good to remember that the excitement around the wedding is temporary and the bride will move out of the centre of attention pretty quickly. She is your best friend, so be happy for her and help her enjoy the event.

As you have said, you are on a different life path, and it is good to realise this. Being friends with a single girlfriend is not the same as being a friend to a married girlfriend. Things that happen to us in life change us and we can only accept them as natural parts of life. If you do not expect things to be the same, you cannot be disappointed. The good news is that married people still have friends.

Friendship is a give-and-take relationship, so keep giving unconditionally and focus on what you still have in your friendship instead of what you are going to lose. The best advice I can give as a life coach is to talk to your friend about your feelings and think together of ways to keep the relationship after the wedding.

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