Comments on: Troubled Teens http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/ "Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids" Mon, 21 May 2012 19:50:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Liezlkehttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8344 Liezlke Sun, 08 Apr 2012 20:55:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8344 You took the words right out of my mouth. I have a similar daughter to yours. Use to be lovely but changed... She reminds me often that there's really nothing I can do. Taking her phone or Internet away as no effect. She has been taught by teachers that she has all these rights. In her mind it means the right to do as she pleases with no regard or respect to the people around her. She has even told a police man that if he touches her he will be in so much trouble! We have given all the power to the youth and then we wonder why they are so out of control. We as parents need to take charge again! You took the words right out of my mouth. I have a similar daughter to yours. Use to be lovely but changed... She reminds me often that there's really nothing I can do. Taking her phone or Internet away as no effect. She has been taught by teachers that she has all these rights. In her mind it means the right to do as she pleases with no regard or respect to the people around her. She has even told a police man that if he touches her he will be in so much trouble! We have given all the power to the youth and then we wonder why they are so out of control. We as parents need to take charge again!

]]> By: Angelaatcronullahttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8343 Angelaatcronulla Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:15:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8343 My 13 year old son is becoming abusive & defiant. I NEED HELP My 13 year old son is becoming abusive & defiant. I NEED HELP

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8328 ronitbaras Fri, 30 Mar 2012 10:03:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8328 I am sure that taking kids away from home for a while and work with them on their proportion could do magic. I wish we had something like this in Australia.  I am sure that taking kids away from home for a while and work with them on their proportion could do magic.
I wish we had something like this in Australia. 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8327 ronitbaras Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:59:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8327 Joey,  Is there a camp you can recommend?  Joey, 

Is there a camp you can recommend? 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8325 ronitbaras Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:46:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8325 Hi John,  I agree there is no right balance.  I think it is  happening not because teens have more power but because parents have less.  Teens behaviour is not due to too many rights but due to fear that they cannot trust their parents.   You are right. power comes with responsibility and no one can give you power , you need to earn it and parents don't earn their power, they bully their kids to earn power and only makes their kids/teens think they are weak. Kids only do what they are allowed to do. I think they freak out thinking about the imaginary power they have.    I have so many parents in my parenting workshop say " You can't stop a teen from eating junk" and I say " of course you can! don't get it in the house. Teens  will buy food in the canteen once, twice but they never have enough money to eat junk forever. Why have junk at home and expect them not to eat it?!"  I think teens do care. I know many of them. The rest only live in the obnoxious, selfish, hormonal teen self fulfilling prophecy invented by adults fearing of loosing their youth.    Parents are not to be blamed, never! they always do the best they can with what they have/can/able.  I blame the system. I blame the education system that invest billions on education for kids without understanding this money is dead money if we don't empower parents to be the captains of their family ship.  As an educator, I know that I can be the best teacher in the world, with the best education degree and empower kids to be considerate, smart, friendly and talented and home will destroy it in a second. ( without bad intentions. Only because parents are more powerful than teachers, which is how it should be! )   As an educator, I know that I can be the best teacher in the world and if parents work with me and they feel  they are not judged and powerful and use their own talents and abilities to stimulate their kids ( instead of compete with them) they can produce amazingly inspiring and gifted teens.  Parents have lots of power, for good and bad.  They have had it 20 years ago and have it now. They have it when they are educated and when they are not.  They have it with technology and  without.  This power is born with an emotional umbilical cord that attaches them to their kids with love.  If we want to reach the balance you were talking about, I think we only need to teach them to use it well.   Power back to parents!  Ronit  Hi John, 
I agree there is no right balance. 
I think it is  happening not because teens have more power but because parents have less. 
Teens behaviour is not due to too many rights but due to fear that they cannot trust their parents.
 
You are right. power comes with responsibility and no one can give you power , you need to earn it and parents don't earn their power, they bully their kids to earn power and only makes their kids/teens think they are weak.
Kids only do what they are allowed to do. I think they freak out thinking about the imaginary power they have. 
 
I have so many parents in my parenting workshop say " You can't stop a teen from eating junk" and I say " of course you can! don't get it in the house. Teens  will buy food in the canteen once, twice but they never have enough money to eat junk forever. Why have junk at home and expect them not to eat it?!" 
I think teens do care. I know many of them. The rest only live in the obnoxious, selfish, hormonal teen self fulfilling prophecy invented by adults fearing of loosing their youth.   

Parents are not to be blamed, never! they always do the best they can with what they have/can/able.

 I blame the system. I blame the education system that invest billions on education for kids without understanding this money is dead money if we don't empower parents to be the captains of their family ship. 

As an educator, I know that I can be the best teacher in the world, with the best education degree and empower kids to be considerate, smart, friendly and talented and home will destroy it in a second. ( without bad intentions. Only because parents are more powerful than teachers, which is how it should be! )  
As an educator, I know that I can be the best teacher in the world and if parents work with me and they feel  they are not judged and powerful and use their own talents and abilities to stimulate their kids ( instead of compete with them) they can produce amazingly inspiring and gifted teens. 

Parents have lots of power, for good and bad. 
They have had it 20 years ago and have it now.
They have it when they are educated and when they are not. 
They have it with technology and  without. 
This power is born with an emotional umbilical cord that attaches them to their kids with love. 
If we want to reach the balance you were talking about, I think we only need to teach them to use it well.  

Power back to parents! 

Ronit 

]]> By: Gal Barashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8318 Gal Baras Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:20:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8318 Hi John, Although I agree with your view of our changed reality and its effects on many families with teenagers, the simple fact remains that Eden and Tsoof show none of the unruliness of the typical modern teens, so we must be doing something right. We believe that today's pressures affect parents in unfair ways, but if parents get a grip on themselves and cope better, their teens will fall in line with not much additional effort. Parents are the most influential beings in their kids' life and all they have to do most of the time is set a good example. Regards, Gal Hi John,

Although I agree with your view of our changed reality and its effects on many families with teenagers, the simple fact remains that Eden and Tsoof show none of the unruliness of the typical modern teens, so we must be doing something right.

We believe that today's pressures affect parents in unfair ways, but if parents get a grip on themselves and cope better, their teens will fall in line with not much additional effort. Parents are the most influential beings in their kids' life and all they have to do most of the time is set a good example.

Regards,
Gal

]]> By: John Hegartyhttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8317 John Hegarty Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:22:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8317 Thank you for your advice and perspectives on responsible parenting. The reality of parenting in the 21st century is that cultural influences and the confounding influence of communication technology has shifted the balance of power in favour of unruley teens. Dont get me wrong, responsible role modelling is critical to effective parenting, however, i feel that you have neglected to consider key variables in the mix which were not present 20 odd years ago. Unfortunately the pendulum has swung too far in informing teens of their rights but neglecting to inform them properly of their responsibilities. From this has spawned a generation of teens whom are self absorbed and indifferent to anyone else but themselves. When you add to the rights of teens you invariably deny the rights of parents. I just say thank God, this trend in education is starting to be reversed in australia, ever so slowly. In closing, once again thank you for your advice, but sometimes the parents of this world are not to blame for the indifferent dissregard teens have towards them. What do you think? Thank you for your advice and perspectives on responsible parenting. The reality of parenting in the 21st century is that cultural influences and the confounding influence of communication technology has shifted the balance of power in favour of unruley teens. Dont get me wrong, responsible role modelling is critical to effective parenting, however, i feel that you have neglected to consider key variables in the mix which were not present 20 odd years ago. Unfortunately the pendulum has swung too far in informing teens of their rights but neglecting to inform them properly of their responsibilities. From this has spawned a generation of teens whom are self absorbed and indifferent to anyone else but themselves. When you add to the rights of teens you invariably deny the rights of parents. I just say thank God, this trend in education is starting to be reversed in australia, ever so slowly. In closing, once again thank you for your advice, but sometimes the parents of this world are not to blame for the indifferent dissregard teens have towards them. What do you think?

]]> By: Joey Lakehttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8315 Joey Lake Wed, 21 Mar 2012 04:27:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8315 Boot camp is the perfect option for troubled teens to get their life back on track. Boot camp is the perfect option for troubled teens to get their life back on track.

]]> By: Janet Deanhttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8314 Janet Dean Wed, 21 Mar 2012 04:23:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8314 Raising teens can be one of the greatest things you and your spouse can do together. But sometimes the love and support of parents is not enough and some teens rebel. If you want your teenager to be more responsible, more dependable, and more reliable, <a href="http://www.teenbootcamps.org/boot-camps/boot-camp-programs-for-troubled-teens.html" rel="nofollow">boot camp programs for troubled teens</a> can provide the necessary support and guidance teens need. They can help you restore your teens to who they were meant to be. Raising teens can be one of the greatest things you and your spouse can do together. But sometimes the love and support of parents is not enough and some teens rebel. If you want your teenager to be more responsible, more dependable, and more reliable, boot
camp programs for troubled teens can provide the necessary support and guidance teens need. They can help you restore your teens to who they were meant to be.

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/troubled-teens/#comment-8258 ronitbaras Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:32:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=2319#comment-8258 Dismayed parent,  I think blaming ourselves is not the solution.  Blaming is a way to get off load, for a short time. if we throw it on someone else we still carry it on our shoulders.  I disagree that it is the government's fault. I think kids live in a very tough world and they are scared, totally confused and scared and we as parents need to keep our kids away from lots of distractions and temptations, technology and media that only makes them more scared.  I agree that parents need to be empowered. I think if the government recognise that helping parents can contribute to society ( and save a fortune) we will be in a better place. I am not sure that I consider empowering parents and giving them permission to discipline is the same.  All those restrictions on parents were caused by parents who abused their power and harmed their kids, they were not caused by the government.  Dismayed parent, 

I think blaming ourselves is not the solution. 
Blaming is a way to get off load, for a short time. if we throw it on someone else we still carry it on our shoulders. 

I disagree that it is the government's fault. I think kids live in a very tough world and they are scared, totally confused and scared and we as parents need to keep our kids away from lots of distractions and temptations, technology and media that only makes them more scared. 

I agree that parents need to be empowered. I think if the government recognise that helping parents can contribute to society ( and save a fortune) we will be in a better place. I am not sure that I consider empowering parents and giving them permission to discipline is the same. 
All those restrictions on parents were caused by parents who abused their power and harmed their kids, they were not caused by the government. 

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