I am glad you like the captain's analogy.
I had a parenting workshop yesterday and when I told parents to remember they are the captains of the family ship, I think some of them looked so sad.
At the end, one of them said " I think in my house, the kids are playing captains. This is why we have a mess"

I was so happy he said that because it opened a whole discussion about what are the dangers of letting kids run a family ship?
When kids run the ship, they have a wonderful understanding of "enjoy the present", which is very important in life but their lack of experience and lack of responsibility can lead their ship to very dangerous waters.

Thanks for your comment
Happy weekend
Ronit
Family Matters

I love your suggestions. Thanks!
I guess hearing it ( well, reading it) from someone who is working with kids and this is his profession( and a guy - I so hope more dads will be involved in this discussion) makes it perfect and valuable input for the readers.

I hope you will add your thoughts and valuable tips to the next "Top Parenting Bloggers Discuss..." coming up on Friday.

Thank you
Ronit

• Family time: one family night a week
• One-to-one time: 15 minutes, two times a week on school nights, doing what the kid wants to do; and 2 to 3 hours once a month (weekends), away from home

Communication guidelines (fosters “I’m acceptable,” “I’m understood”):

• Validate a kid’s feelings during problem-solving: “I can see you were really upset; tell me more.” Then deal with the problem.
• Ask, “What do you think?” whenever possible (TV show, current events), and try to agree with something the child says. Support appropriate differences.
• Modify your decision: “I can see where you’re coming from. You can clean your room on Saturday afternoon instead of Friday night.” Do this at least 20 percent of the time during your problem-solving.
• Use the 75/25 rules. Rule 1: listen 75 percent of the time; talk 25 percent. Rule 2: use positive interaction 75 percent of the time; offer constructive feedback no more than 25 percent of the time.

A valuing relationship guarantees more success with discipline.