Comments on: The Right Age for a Sleepover http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/ "Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids" Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:26:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lauravalentina Ghttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8262 Lauravalentina G Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:28:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8262 most parents let the kids go on sleepover anytime but who am a parent should let my kids go on a sleepover they are ready and when am ready you would have to talk with them explain how your going be away from them most parents let the kids go on sleepover anytime but who am a parent should let my kids go on a sleepover they are ready and when am ready you would have to talk with them explain how your going be away from them

]]> By: When is it safe for your child to go for a sleepover?http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8211 When is it safe for your child to go for a sleepover? Fri, 27 Jan 2012 07:40:59 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8211 [...] Source [...] [...] Source [...]

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8022 ronitbaras Mon, 25 Jul 2011 05:06:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8022 Aircrewmanwife1,  It was brave of you to let her sleep over. It is very important for kids health and well being to be in a different house and see how it works. I think it is good for kids to see different houses and how they function. If you are confident with your parenting, the kids will learn to appreciate you and your style after they go to other kids' house. My kids come back and say " In this house, the kids do not clear the table, mum is doing everything " and they talk about it as a bad thing. I am happy they go to see that it looks bad when you look at it from the outside. Many of my kids' friends' parents like sending them here for a sleep over. In our house, we all help preparing dinner and setting and clearing the table, and everyone takes a salad and try new things and every time they go home their parents call and say : "What have you done to my kid, he suddenly eat salad or help at home" So , no, they sometimes learn good things. They are exposed to different dynamic, it is good for them. Kids don't pick bad habits because they are young. When she will be 10 years old, it will be the same, if her house is solid, she will learn to appreciate it, if her house is weak, she will pick up bad habits no matter how old she is. Play date is a wonderful compromise.  Aircrewmanwife1,
 It was brave of you to let her sleep over. It is very important for kids health and well being to be in a different house and see how it works. I think it is good for kids to see different houses and how they function. If you are confident with your parenting, the kids will learn to appreciate you and your style after they go to other kids' house. My kids come back and say " In this house, the kids do not clear the table, mum is doing everything " and they talk about it as a bad thing. I am happy they go to see that it looks bad when you look at it from the outside. Many of my kids' friends' parents like sending them here for a sleep over. In our house, we all help preparing dinner and setting and clearing the table, and everyone takes a salad and try new things and every time they go home their parents call and say : "What have you done to my kid, he suddenly eat salad or help at home" So , no, they sometimes learn good things. They are exposed to different dynamic, it is good for them. Kids don't pick bad habits because they are young. When she will be 10 years old, it will be the same, if her house is solid, she will learn to appreciate it, if her house is weak, she will pick up bad habits no matter how old she is. Play date is a wonderful compromise. 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8021 ronitbaras Mon, 25 Jul 2011 04:56:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8021 Tracyraisa,  I can understand the concern, especially when you have your mind set to 7-8 years old. It should be easier with cousins as the child coming to sleep over is someone you know.  I think if you are scared, invite them to sleep over before sending your daughter to sleep over. In your house, you can control what they do?  Ask yourself, What are you afraid of?  Ronit  Tracyraisa, 

I can understand the concern, especially when you have your mind set to 7-8 years old. It should be easier with cousins as the child coming to sleep over is someone you know. 
I think if you are scared, invite them to sleep over before sending your daughter to sleep over. In your house, you can control what they do? 
Ask yourself, What are you afraid of? 

Ronit 

]]> By: Tracyraisahttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8020 Tracyraisa Sun, 24 Jul 2011 18:51:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-8020 My daughter is 5 like her cousin and they want sleep overs. I'm really not sure. A lot more resposibility with other kids. I feel quite scared about it actually. It's very daughting. I was about 7 or 8 years when I had my first with a friend accross the road but younger when it was at my grandparents. That was usually so my parents could go out not just for fun! My daughter is 5 like her cousin and they want sleep overs. I'm really not sure. A lot more resposibility with other kids. I feel quite scared about it actually. It's very daughting. I was about 7 or 8 years when I had my first with a friend accross the road but younger when it was at my grandparents. That was usually so my parents could go out not just for fun!

]]> By: Aircrewmanwife1http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7940 Aircrewmanwife1 Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:07:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7940 thanks for sharing this. i have a soon to be 7 year old little girl. she is my only child. she had been to one sleep over and i went to the parents house ( it was my best friend who had let her sleep over) to check on her and texted her a bunch of times. i had a harder time being apart from her then she did me. she has asked a few times to have a sleep over at our house, but when i met the parents and did the play date thing, the other parents always said no. glad you put in there to have an even number of kids but a small amount. we are a military family so its hard to keep friends around and we do not live near family. i have had three sleepovers in my life and my first one was when i was 7. im just worried she will pick up bad habits from other homes too. i told my husband when she is 10 i think she and i will be ready for her to do sleepovers. after reading your article, i see if i wait that long what she will be missing out on. again thanks for sharing :) thanks for sharing this. i have a soon to be 7 year old little girl. she is my only child. she had been to one sleep over and i went to the parents house ( it was my best friend who had let her sleep over) to check on her and texted her a bunch of times. i had a harder time being apart from her then she did me. she has asked a few times to have a sleep over at our house, but when i met the parents and did the play date thing, the other parents always said no. glad you put in there to have an even number of kids but a small amount. we are a military family so its hard to keep friends around and we do not live near family. i have had three sleepovers in my life and my first one was when i was 7. im just worried she will pick up bad habits from other homes too. i told my husband when she is 10 i think she and i will be ready for her to do sleepovers. after reading your article, i see if i wait that long what she will be missing out on. again thanks for sharing :)

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7898 ronitbaras Wed, 27 Apr 2011 07:07:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7898 Speaking out, I think you can tell your kids that your experience shows that there maybe trustworthy people but not everyone is trustworthy. Remember, I didn't see anything wrong with wearing a sexy gown. I thought it was beautiful and hoped my mum would wear such things. The problem is that you cannot protect them forever and you have to put systems in place so your kids tell you that something went wrong. Eden, our daughter went to a party at the age of 13, it was a party, not a sleep over and it was at one of our best friend's house. Their son was her boyfriend the year before and we didn't think it was a bad influence or anything like that. They were nice couple and we liked them a lot. It was over half an hour drive and we dropped her in, went inside, said hi, checked around ( we knew their house, had dinners together at their place couple of times) and went home, after an hour she called and said, "come pick me up!". We have a rule, if she says something like that, we don't question her judgment. We asked her if she is safe, she couldn't talk much on the phone and we drove to pick her up. She said "excuse me, I don't feel so good" and we took her home. On the way home, we discovered that our friends, the mother and the father, opened a drinking bar for the kids and drank with them alcohol to the stage of kids drunk and talking stupid. I can understand your concern and I know it is real and scary but I would rather teach my kids to tell me when something is wrong to allow me to protect them. As you say, sometimes the parent is the abuser and we cannot be with them 24 hours a day to protect them, it is better to develop in them a sensor when something is wrong and an open channel to communicate with you when someone around them is doing something wrong. When there is something wrong in a friends' house, it will be wrong even during the day, during a play day. It doesn't have to be at night. I know what you mean. My kids went to a camp that the organizers neglected some kids ( not mine) in such a way that it dangered their life. I told my kids they will never, never, never go to that camp with those organizers - I don't even argue! If I were you, I would tell my kids that my personal experience created fears that are hard for me to ignore and I would like to protect them and that if they work together with me to reassure that they are safe, we can find an arrangement. My solution would be always to invite for sleep overs. I know that my house is safe. Speaking out,

I think you can tell your kids that your experience shows that there maybe trustworthy people but not everyone is trustworthy.
Remember, I didn't see anything wrong with wearing a sexy gown. I thought it was beautiful and hoped my mum would wear such things.
The problem is that you cannot protect them forever and you have to put systems in place so your kids tell you that something went wrong.
Eden, our daughter went to a party at the age of 13, it was a party, not a sleep over and it was at one of our best friend's house. Their son was her boyfriend the year before and we didn't think it was a bad influence or anything like that. They were nice couple and we liked them a lot. It was over half an hour drive and we dropped her in, went inside, said hi, checked around ( we knew their house, had dinners together at their place couple of times) and went home, after an hour she called and said, "come pick me up!". We have a rule, if she says something like that, we don't question her judgment. We asked her if she is safe, she couldn't talk much on the phone and we drove to pick her up. She said "excuse me, I don't feel so good" and we took her home. On the way home, we discovered that our friends, the mother and the father, opened a drinking bar for the kids and drank with them alcohol to the stage of kids drunk and talking stupid.

I can understand your concern and I know it is real and scary but I would rather teach my kids to tell me when something is wrong to allow me to protect them.

As you say, sometimes the parent is the abuser and we cannot be with them 24 hours a day to protect them, it is better to develop in them a sensor when something is wrong and an open channel to communicate with you when someone around them is doing something wrong.

When there is something wrong in a friends' house, it will be wrong even during the day, during a play day. It doesn't have to be at night.

I know what you mean. My kids went to a camp that the organizers neglected some kids ( not mine) in such a way that it dangered their life. I told my kids they will never, never, never go to that camp with those organizers - I don't even argue!

If I were you, I would tell my kids that my personal experience created fears that are hard for me to ignore and I would like to protect them and that if they work together with me to reassure that they are safe, we can find an arrangement. My solution would be always to invite for sleep overs. I know that my house is safe.

]]> By: Speakingouthttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7809 Speakingout Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:39:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7809 All of these things can be accomplished with playdates or full day visits. I, as a mother, would be appalled if I new another parent was wearing a see through nighty with sexy red underwear in front of my child! That is extremely disrespectful. I had sleepovers as a child and a lot went on that if they didn't I probably would be better for it. Also, I cam from an abusive home where my stepfather sexually abused me and yet, my mother knowing this, allowed my friends to sleepover. Can you imagine? You may be letting your child sleep over at a pedophile's house and not know it. We all have this fear within us, it's a question we struggle with all of the time "Should I let my child have sleepovers?" Maybe there is a reason for that struggle, maybe we really shouldn't be allowing it at all. I gave into the pressures of society and went against my own feelings and what my experiences taught me, I let my oldest son have sleepovers with one particular friend, since those went ok I let him have a sleepover with another friend, only to find out he was intorduced to porn. Great! Apparently the mother let her con do whatever he wanted on the computer. Now that I have two more boys and now a daughter, we have stopped sleepovers. There is just way too much stuff that can happen at night. All of these things can be accomplished with playdates or full day visits. I, as a mother, would be appalled if I new another parent was wearing a see through nighty with sexy red underwear in front of my child! That is extremely disrespectful. I had sleepovers as a child and a lot went on that if they didn't I probably would be better for it. Also, I cam from an abusive home where my stepfather sexually abused me and yet, my mother knowing this, allowed my friends to sleepover. Can you imagine? You may be letting your child sleep over at a pedophile's house and not know it. We all have this fear within us, it's a question we struggle with all of the time "Should I let my child have sleepovers?" Maybe there is a reason for that struggle, maybe we really shouldn't be allowing it at all. I gave into the pressures of society and went against my own feelings and what my experiences taught me, I let my oldest son have sleepovers with one particular friend, since those went ok I let him have a sleepover with another friend, only to find out he was intorduced to porn. Great! Apparently the mother let her con do whatever he wanted on the computer. Now that I have two more boys and now a daughter, we have stopped sleepovers. There is just way too much stuff that can happen at night.

]]> By: Ronit Barashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7636 Ronit Baras Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:50:16 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7636 Melody, So, do you mean she allows you or not? If your mom is not decisive it usually means she is not very confident. Again, ask her " What needs to happen for you to feel more confident about me going?" and try working with her to make her feel good and that you are safe. You will have lots and lots of parties in middle school. Talk to your mom and help her overcome this fear. Good luck Ronit www.behappyinlife.com Melody,

So, do you mean she allows you or not?
If your mom is not decisive it usually means she is not very confident.
Again, ask her " What needs to happen for you to feel more confident about me going?" and try working with her to make her feel good and that you are safe.
You will have lots and lots of parties in middle school.
Talk to your mom and help her overcome this fear.

Good luck
Ronit
http://www.behappyinlife.com

]]> By: Melodyhttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7517 Melody Sat, 22 Jan 2011 21:37:18 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/2008/09/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/the-right-age-for-a-sleepover/#comment-7517 hi my mom says i can actully sleep over at my friends house!!! and now she is saying maybe and now she saying yes again i dont no wat to do and it is a slumber party and this is the last year we will no each other were moving away from each other next year for midddle school pls help me! hi my mom says i can actully sleep over at my friends house!!! and now she is saying maybe and now she saying yes again i dont no wat to do and it is a slumber party and this is the last year we will no each other were moving away from each other next year for midddle school pls help me!

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