Comments on: Should my child repeat a year at school or not? http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/ "Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids" Mon, 21 May 2012 19:50:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8283 ronitbaras Tue, 28 Feb 2012 07:28:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8283 Being short is not a reason to repeat a year.  If he is doing well in school, ignore the coach. Being short is not a reason to repeat a year. 
If he is doing well in school, ignore the coach.

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8282 ronitbaras Tue, 28 Feb 2012 07:23:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8282 Rebecca,  Repeating a year is a great idea only for the emotional side.  What does your son thinks about going through year 9 again?  Schools do not like taking any responsibility over children. They rather parents make the decision themselves.  Some public schools would rather him do year 10 and leave the school after than have him for 2 years. ( many of the schools can choose not to accept him for year 11) If you are moving to a new place and he is Ok with repeating, just go to the new school and say. "I would like to register him to year 9". If they ask why, you say, this is our choice, we believe it will be the best for him.  Age is not a magical thing and there is no clock.  Parents have good intuition, trust yourself . If you think it is better for him to go over it again, go for it and make it happen.  The academic things are not the most important thing though it is an indication he is suffering and not managing  If I were in your situation, I would have insisted on repeating the year .  Ronit  Rebecca, 

Repeating a year is a great idea only for the emotional side. 
What does your son thinks about going through year 9 again? 
Schools do not like taking any responsibility over children. They rather parents make the decision themselves. 
Some public schools would rather him do year 10 and leave the school after than have him for 2 years. ( many of the schools can choose not to accept him for year 11)
If you are moving to a new place and he is Ok with repeating, just go to the new school and say. "I would like to register him to year 9". If they ask why, you say, this is our choice, we believe it will be the best for him. 
Age is not a magical thing and there is no clock. 
Parents have good intuition, trust yourself . If you think it is better for him to go over it again, go for it and make it happen. 
The academic things are not the most important thing though it is an indication he is suffering and not managing 
If I were in your situation, I would have insisted on repeating the year . 
Ronit 

]]> By: S_simin1347http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8280 S_simin1347 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 09:19:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8280 Hi i have a son that is 13 years old and he will start high school (2012-2013) and he plays basketball good and one of his coaches said to him you should held back and he is 5.1 which is he is short for his age.I don't know if its a right decision to held him back for 1 year. Hi i have a son that is 13 years old and he will start high school (2012-2013) and he plays basketball good and one of his coaches said to him you should held back and he is 5.1 which is he is short for his age.I don't know if its a right decision to held him back for 1 year.

]]> By: Rebecca Dahlhttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8277 Rebecca Dahl Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:11:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8277 I need some suggestions here...my son is 15 and has Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. He is currently in 9th grade. I have been told by at least one person at every school he has ever been at that he is the most challenging student they have ever dealt with. He has an IEP for behavior and academic performance. His academic performance has never been great though he definitely has the capacity to be successful. The big problem is that this year, he has been failing EVERY class almost all year. We are at almost the 4th quarter and I was supposed to have a meeting with some of the educators at his school to discuss the possibility of holding him back. I was never contacted to attend a meeting and he came home today saying that they have told him they will NOT hold him back. I have read a lot that says retention is a bad idea and there are a lot of reasons not to do it. I believe my son is an exception. He does not function at the emotional level of a 15. They told him that he will be placed in 10th grade with modified classes. How can he learn anything in 10th grade if he hasn't learned the base for it in 9th grade? Am I being obtuse about this? I sincerely feel that he would do better if he is able to repeat 9th grade. Another consideration is that we are going to be moving at the end of the summer so he will be in a completely different school. If he was held back, he would be able to complete his entire high school career at his new school. Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated. I am trying to figure out the best thing for him.  I need some suggestions here...my son is 15 and has Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. He is currently in 9th grade. I have been told by at least one person at every school he has ever been at that he is the most challenging student they have ever dealt with. He has an IEP for behavior and academic performance. His academic performance has never been great though he definitely has the capacity to be successful. The big problem is that this year, he has been failing EVERY class almost all year. We are at almost the 4th quarter and I was supposed to have a meeting with some of the educators at his school to discuss the possibility of holding him back. I was never contacted to attend a meeting and he came home today saying that they have told him they will NOT hold him back. I have read a lot that says retention is a bad idea and there are a lot of reasons not to do it. I believe my son is an exception. He does not function at the emotional level of a 15. They told him that he will be placed in 10th grade with modified classes. How can he learn anything in 10th grade if he hasn't learned the base for it in 9th grade? Am I being obtuse about this? I sincerely feel that he would do better if he is able to repeat 9th grade. Another consideration is that we are going to be moving at the end of the summer so he will be in a completely different school. If he was held back, he would be able to complete his entire high school career at his new school. Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated. I am trying to figure out the best thing for him. 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8253 ronitbaras Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:17:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8253 Nadia,  so sorry it took me time to reply.  The year in Melbourne started this week.  I think being 7 in year 1 is not that much of a problem.  In my kids' school the difference between the youngest one to the oldest is 2 years so it should not be an issue at all.  If repeating will help him emotionally, go for it. !  If it will help him academically ( because he hears everything the second time) that's a bonus!  In your case, I would repeat the year.  Make sure though there is no learning difficulty as this will stay an obstacle even if he repeats the year.  Nadia, 
so sorry it took me time to reply. 
The year in Melbourne started this week. 
I think being 7 in year 1 is not that much of a problem. 
In my kids' school the difference between the youngest one to the oldest is 2 years so it should not be an issue at all. 
If repeating will help him emotionally, go for it. ! 
If it will help him academically ( because he hears everything the second time) that's a bonus! 

In your case, I would repeat the year. 
Make sure though there is no learning difficulty as this will stay an obstacle even if he repeats the year. 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8252 ronitbaras Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:13:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8252 I think being 16 in grade 8 is not appropriate.  Maybe the school system is not the right place for him.  There are many other alternatives to school. I think being 16 in grade 8 is not appropriate. 
Maybe the school system is not the right place for him. 
There are many other alternatives to school.

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8251 ronitbaras Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:09:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8251 Sharon,  I would stay away from schools that does IQ test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I studied special education 25 years ago. My teachers who were experts back then told us to stay away from the IQ tests and never,never,never,never use them or jump into conclusion reading the results.  When I moved to Australia, 10 years ago, someone told me, Ronit, Australia is 20 years behind in Education. I said " no way, come on, what are you talking about? this is a modern place, modern place with technology. you must be exaggerating"  My first project was working with dyslexic kids . I worked for a very well known centre and when they gave me the kids, they gave me their IQ test.  I was shocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How on earth an IQ test help me in learning about the child's problem?  The owner of the centre said to me "Ronit, Welcome to Australia!"    Every child can be taught and progress, even if he does have an organic problem.  1. I would take my child far away from this school.  2. I would remind the new school that it is your choice to keep him one more year behind. ( you need to live with the consequences of your choice)  3. find a special education teacher in your area that works on emotional intelligence and get your son to work on his EQ 4. find a school that focuses on other areas than academic: sport, art, music, science...    The system is disabled, do not let it blame you or your son for its disability to cater for different needs.  Truly, sometimes I think that they forgot what their job is.  Maybe educators should go through an oath -much like doctors.  Sharon, 

I would stay away from schools that does IQ test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I studied special education 25 years ago. My teachers who were experts back then told us to stay away from the IQ tests and never,never,never,never use them or jump into conclusion reading the results. 
When I moved to Australia, 10 years ago, someone told me, Ronit, Australia is 20 years behind in Education. I said " no way, come on, what are you talking about? this is a modern place, modern place with technology. you must be exaggerating" 
My first project was working with dyslexic kids . I worked for a very well known centre and when they gave me the kids, they gave me their IQ test. 
I was shocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How on earth an IQ test help me in learning about the child's problem? 
The owner of the centre said to me "Ronit, Welcome to Australia!" 
 
Every child can be taught and progress, even if he does have an organic problem. 
1. I would take my child far away from this school. 
2. I would remind the new school that it is your choice to keep him one more year behind. ( you need to live with the consequences of your choice) 
3. find a special education teacher in your area that works on emotional intelligence and get your son to work on his EQ
4. find a school that focuses on other areas than academic: sport, art, music, science...   

The system is disabled, do not let it blame you or your son for its disability to cater for different needs. 
Truly, sometimes I think that they forgot what their job is. 
Maybe educators should go through an oath -much like doctors. 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8250 ronitbaras Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:53:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8250 I think it is better not repeat so many years.  His happiness is much more important.  I think it is better not repeat so many years. 
His happiness is much more important. 

]]> By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8238 ronitbaras Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:53:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8238 I would listen to your son.  If his reasons are genuine ( doesn't want to stay with some friends or something like that) I would follow him.  Kids will do lots to avoid it but if they want to, go for it!   I would listen to your son. 
If his reasons are genuine ( doesn't want to stay with some friends or something like that) I would follow him. 
Kids will do lots to avoid it but if they want to, go for it!  

]]> By: Terrihttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8208 Terri Tue, 24 Jan 2012 04:11:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/should-my-child-repeat-a-year-at-school-or-not/#comment-8208 Look into private tutoring or if there is a processing difficulty such organizations as "Brain Works" or "Brain Balance" here in the States.  He should be able to catch up with outside help. Look into private tutoring or if there is a processing difficulty such organizations as "Brain Works" or "Brain Balance" here in the States.  He should be able to catch up with outside help.

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