It is amazing how many people confuse gifted children and know all almighty. Gifted kids get many messages of expectations that they must be perfect and in every topic. I remember my son's teacher expressing disappointment that he is not perfect or way above his class in every area of learning. The previous school he want to, gave a report of his academic level. This was very high, about 3 to 4 years above his expected age, still the teacher said he cannot be gifted because of his handwriting, which was normal to his age level.
Those gifted kids gets those messages from their surrounding. you are so right Susan, they are not perfect in everything but they tend to develop perfectionism as a survival machanism - which is a big problem for them.

I used the name pushy because parents of gifted kids are blamed for pushing their kids. I think it is an invention of parents of non- gifted kids to justify why their kids are not that gifted. "They must be like that because their parents are pushy". I hear that in my parenting workshops a lot.
I find that parents for gifted kids need help to get involved. Most of them are so careful and so afraid to talk to the teachers when they have problems that what we are facing is discrimination against the gifted children.

There will always be parents thinking they know best and nag the teachers till exhausting them . We must remember that after all, they are the clients and some of the clients are a pain, still, they are the clients and we can't take it on their kids.

I know what you mean, that some parents who push their kids too much may take from this article some encouragement. I believe that people try to take encouragement from everything around them. I think we are built this way, to search for confirmation for what we believe so I think it will only be natural.
Yet, I do hope that more of the parents who want to support their gifted children will take encouragement from this article as having the full right to help their kids.
Most parents really want to raise happy kids and avoid their kids dumbing themselves down to fit everyone around.
I believe the concept " pushy" is dangerous and judgmental. There is a fine line between being caring and pushing. There is a fine line between trusting the system and being not responsible and at the end of the day fear of being called "pushy" cannot be bigger than our responsibility for our kids.

Listening to your kids and cooperating with the teachers is sure going to help any parent wanting to support their gifted child - but then again, this will support any parent, even if his child is not gifted.

Happy day
Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com

Most gifted students do not like repeating or practising what they already know. However a child with this belief has placed educational limitations on themselves. They prevent themselves learning other perspectives and depth on content being taught.

Another strong feature of an already labelled 'Gifted' child is their self perception of being a perfectionist. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but they will not seek help in front of other students in a classroom. As many times as I try to assist them they will deny it and will sit and wait for other students to ask their proposed question. How can they ask questions in class when everyone in class has the belief that the student/child is a genius? I am sure even if a child missed a few days or various days throughout the year. If they did not understand/missed concepts it would have been apparent in a mid-year/end-of-year test. You are right 'Gifted' children do hide it well.

However, I don't think pushy parents help the student. Being pushy and going up to a teacher every day does not show a child how to work together as a team. It might make a pushy parent happy, because they feel like they are getting what they want, but socially inside the classroom the students with pushy parents are embarrassed and that is why they hide what they find difficult. The environment in the classroom changes as soon as a pushy parent interfers in classroom learning.

Be assertive and not pushy. Working WITH the teacher/school to introduce strategies into the school or classroom would be best. Remember parents are role models to their child as well. Pushy doesn't always get what you want. Be sensible and think of alternatives. I don't mean pushy as in giving children what they would like in life, I am writing about pushy parents that insist they understand everything about education and try and tell people what needs to be done in a classroom from their point of view.

This isn't directed at anybody, but I felt that pushy people reading the article might misinterpret a "Pushy" parent and think that by being overly pushy parent is a good parent. To be a good parent you need to be supportive and listen to your child and not be a narcissistic person.

It is funny, the way you say it, pushy and proud.
I had a client, she sounded just like you.
She had 3 girls, the most beautiful, smartest girls on earth. I worked with them once a week on a project they did ( gifted girls) and everyone looking at her said she was a pushy mom. Those girls got up every morning at 5am to practice their music, each did about 6 or 7 afternoon activites. you probably ask, how can girls ( 6,7,8 years old) can have that many after school activities. Well, I asked myself the same question. some days she took them out of school early to bring them to my lessons. Some of the lessons they had late in the evening, some they had on the weekends. By the way, she was a single mom (she always said it is much easier).
One day she comes to pick the girls up and one of them says her school opened a flamenco class and the girls are going to go to Spain for a tour at the end of the year and she wants to join.
Her mom looked at her and said " not another one" but the girl was very commited in her explenation.
"sorry, I don't think we have time for another thing, we need to relax sometimes"
"but mom..." the girl started begging.
In 10 minute the girl said she'll get up earlier ( than 5 am) and she'll do her homework early morning on Saturday and arranged a whole week around Flamenco.
Money, in that family was not an issue, but time was and the many times when she came to pick them up they told her about all the new things they want to do. If they only had 67 hours a day....
I have seen those girls for about 4 years. This thing happened every other week. Out of 100 attempts she agreed to 3-4 of them and with the condition they stop taking one of the other activities but still everyone talked about her about her as the "Queen of the Pushy moms"
I think she was able to raise the most wonderful girls ever because she didn't care what others said about her.
I think this is the formula.
Good on you, you already have it!

Thank you for coming to my site and come again.

Just another pushy mom
Ronit Baras

I see what you mean.
I myself don't think it is pushy, this is why I wrote this post, to help parents realise that taking the responsibility is being pushy.
Our kids are ours. we are with them for many year, while teachers, as wonderful as they can be ( and I knwo they can) are only one or two years with them. Only we can make sure their education is stable, strong and happy ( though I didn't talk about happiness in this post)
I'm happy you came here and happy educators comment because I do think teachers have the power and the responsibility to educate the parents to take responsibility.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with us.

Happy week and come again.
Ronit

Annette

Thank you for your comment. I am happy readers share the same philosophy. I am an educator myself and I painfuly agree with you that " Depending on indifferent or ignorant educators is a recipe for catastrophe"
I have a hope to change it!
Thank you for visiting my blog, come again.

Happy day
Ronit Baras
http://ronitbaras.com

I like it when you write here.
I agree, worrying is not the right thing to do, smart kids, this is the true, this is a great thing with them, they can catch up in no time and Eden did.
I think in parenting there is a lot of blaming, When things goes wrong and with smart kids things goes wrong too, it is easy to blame the teachers, the system, but parents need to remember that their children are their responsiblity and if they are not happy, they should take responsibility and do everything they can to fix it, why? because they can't take a chance.
Not knowing fractions is not a big deal, The big deal was me expecting the school to take care of it.
I agree with you, stimulating smart kids is the best thing to do, drama, language, music, sport or even extention academic subjects are a good to solve the bored, bored, bored kids (even grown ups)but it is essential to know who is responsible.
Thannks for writing here, I love it when you write and thank you for giving everyone an insight into a teacher/ gifted kid mindset. ( I couldn't do the gifted kid minset first hand - I wasn't bored, bored, bored , I was probably in outer space...) I think it is wonderful to understand how a smart kid thinks, I hope it'll give the readers a great understanding.

have a wonderful day
hugs
Ronit