Family Matters

Bullying has become a problem in our society. As I promised in the first chapter of the bullying series, I will share with you today the facts and figures about bullying and they are very scary. But I am not writing this to scare you, just to create awareness to this epidemic of violence in our society. I also believe that parents and educators, who are the majority of the readers of this site, have the power to change it.

Bullying research

I have spent a long time reviewing information about bullying, much of it on various government sites, so where the source is not mentioned below, some government agency has publicly confirmed it.

• A study done in 2007 on a group of 6^th Graders found that 89% of kids had experienced some form of bullying and 59% of the students had participated in some form of bullying
• Most of the kids in many studies rejected the idea of bullying and said they were against it
• In bullying, there are 7 players (all participants take part in the solution):
  • The bully
  • The victim
  • The follower - does not initiate, but joins in after the bully
  • The passive supporter - supports the bully, but does not bully himself
  • The disengaged - does not seem to care about either side
  • The passive defender - has empathy to the victim but does nothing
  • The active defender - tries to intervene and help the victim
• Most bullying is about physical appearance
• Race, ethnicity and opposite sex harassment are more common than bullying of homosexuals
• Name calling is the most common form of bullying
• 1 out of every 5 kids reports being bullied once a week or more
• Physical bullying is the least common form of bullying and as the kids grow, it declines
• Autistic kids are bullied more often than other kids
• Strangely enough, boys report being bullied more than girls
• 85% of bullying happens in the same peer group
• Kids are more likely to experience bullying from individuals than from a group
• Bullying is most common in the last years of primary school and the first couple of years of secondary school
• Bullying often occurs when there is little or no supervision around
• Bullying is the 4^th common reasons kids call helpline services
• 13% of children aged 15-18 experience continual harassment
• Only 7% of younger kids experience continual harassment
• 14-48% of children report they have been cyber bullied
• Bullied children are more likely to drop out of school
• Bullied children are more likely to use drugs
• Bullied children are more likely to use alcohol
• Bullied children are more likely to have anxiety attacks which will interfere with their adults life
• Bullied children are more likely to developed depression, which will interfere with their adult life
• Bullied children are more likely to be sick during childhood and later in their adult life
• Bullied children are more likely to get involved in criminal behavior - 1 in 4 have a criminal record by the age of 30
• Contrary to common belief, some bullies are popular and have good leadership skills
• 90% of bullying happens during school breaks
• Children who bully others at the age of 14 are more likely to display aggressive behavior at the age of 32 and have children who are also bullies
• Some kids mistake having arguments or not being liked as bullying
• Competitive environments increase bullying
• In a learning style that focuses on cooperation, bullying declines
• 75% of victims have symptoms of post-traumatic stress syndrome. 65% of them have the same symptoms five years later.
• Some kids bully as a way to gain popularity and improve social status
• 58% of kids do not know how to report cyber bullying
• 85% of kids who have been bullied via their mobile phone know the bully
• 87% of cyber bullies do it through text messaging (SMS)
• Bullying typically declines or stops when another kid intervenes

These are just some of the statistics about bullying. I find them scary and alarming and most education systems around the world are working hard to change them. The good news is that there are great programs out there and enough research and statistics that prove education is the key to creating this change.

As parents, you do not want your kids to be bullied and you do not want your kids to bullies. But the other players in the dynamic of bullying, both the passive and the active ones, are highly influenced by bullying. If your child is not a bully or a victim, they may still play one of the other 5 roles and so may need help too.

In many of the reports about bullying, over 90% of kids witnessed some form of bullying so there was no way to ignore it.

Throughout this series, I will cover many aspects of bullying, but for today, to make a sweet ending, I want to leave you with two important statistics about bullying:

1. School programs that emphasize positive cooperation between principals, teachers, students and parents are highly effective at reducing bullying
2. And the cream of the cream - Children with positive relationships with their parents are less likely to be bullies

So you see, it is definitely worth building good relationships with your kids.

Happy parenting,
Ronit

You may want to read

• Bullying (15): How to help bullying victims
• Bullying (14): How to help bullying victims
• Bullying (27): How to stop parent bullying