Comments on: 8 Worst Ways to Treat Your Teens http://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/ "Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids" Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:26:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: ronitbarashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-8125 ronitbaras Sat, 15 Oct 2011 11:57:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-8125 Yes, you did !  I have a simple rule, if your methods work for you, you are right!  Yes, you did ! 
I have a simple rule, if your methods work for you, you are right! 

]]> By: Happy Momhttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-8094 Happy Mom Thu, 22 Sep 2011 20:05:00 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-8094 Sandie - totally 100% with you.. the main problem is that parents want to be friends.. they already have friends that will pull them the wrong way.. they need parents to pull them back and remind them of the consequences … I have 3 kids… well mannered (teacher, parents and people tell me, not based on my opinion) and believe me… I NAG, I TELL THEM WHEN THEY ARE NOT DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO and I will PUNISH them when it is deserved! Happy Mom Sandie -
totally 100% with you.. the main problem is that parents want to be friends.. they already have friends that will pull them the wrong way.. they need parents to pull them back and remind them of the consequences … I have 3 kids… well mannered (teacher, parents and people tell me, not based on my opinion) and believe me… I NAG, I TELL THEM WHEN THEY ARE NOT DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO and I will PUNISH them when it is deserved!
Happy Mom

]]> By: Ronit Barashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-7403 Ronit Baras Wed, 22 Dec 2010 08:10:40 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-7403 Norie, It is amazing that you grew up with a dad that did it differently and yet you chose to raise your kids by telling them what to do. I admire people that examine their parents raising and make it better. I tell my daughter this is what I expect of her, to make things better. I wrote an article about giving people control and how hard it is for them to use it. It is something that happened to me with a group of kids but it words exactly the same with parents. http://www.ronitbaras.com/series-posts/kids-in-power-prison/ Control is a drug - stay away from it. Ronit. Norie,

It is amazing that you grew up with a dad that did it differently and yet you chose to raise your kids by telling them what to do.
I admire people that examine their parents raising and make it better. I tell my daughter this is what I expect of her, to make things better.

I wrote an article about giving people control and how hard it is for them to use it. It is something that happened to me with a group of kids but it words exactly the same with parents.
http://www.ronitbaras.com/series-posts/kids-in-power-prison/

Control is a drug - stay away from it.

Ronit.

]]> By: Noriehttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-7382 Norie Tue, 21 Dec 2010 01:05:15 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-7382 I think the advice that you give Ronit is great! I have brought my kids up on this parenting style - although not realizing it only because my stepfather brought me up on all the things that you said NOT to do.My husband and I have the same idea that there should be respect between parents and children. I have seen the destruction of some of her friends because of parents trying to control their kids and not understand why they are doing it. To Sandie you may think you are in control but you're not! I think the advice that you give Ronit is great! I have brought my kids up on this parenting style - although not realizing it only because my stepfather brought me up on all the things that you said NOT to do.My husband and I have the same idea that there should be respect between parents and children. I have seen the destruction of some of her friends because of parents trying to control their kids and not understand why they are doing it. To Sandie you may think you are in control but you're not!

]]> By: Ronit Barashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-6437 Ronit Baras Fri, 06 Aug 2010 04:25:16 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-6437 Josh, you are a mature 18 year old if this is what you have to say to the parents reading this blog. Respect is a big issue between teens and parents and not everyone understand that your teens doing what you want them to do is not a sign of respect. Sharp and insightful statement! There is a component in parenting that is like friendship but it is not. I think you talk about respect that is similar to friendship - without judging and criticizing and being there for someone else. parents cannot be total friends to their teens because in friendship there is equality that does not exist in parenting - we are not equal, not in years, not in experience but this does not mean we can't be respectful towards each other. I am glad your parents found a way to work on their desire to control you. You are wise, by controlling our kids we do not do them a favour. Be a role model for other teens, Happy life Ronit Josh,

you are a mature 18 year old if this is what you have to say to the parents reading this blog.
Respect is a big issue between teens and parents and not everyone understand that your teens doing what you want them to do is not a sign of respect. Sharp and insightful statement!

There is a component in parenting that is like friendship but it is not. I think you talk about respect that is similar to friendship - without judging and criticizing and being there for someone else.
parents cannot be total friends to their teens because in friendship there is equality that does not exist in parenting - we are not equal, not in years, not in experience but this does not mean we can't be respectful towards each other.

I am glad your parents found a way to work on their desire to control you. You are wise, by controlling our kids we do not do them a favour.

Be a role model for other teens,

Happy life
Ronit

]]> By: Ronit Barashttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-6436 Ronit Baras Fri, 06 Aug 2010 04:17:35 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-6436 Sandie, I think nagging and lecturing is not a must. Why would you do it to yourself? Ronit Sandie,

I think nagging and lecturing is not a must.
Why would you do it to yourself?

Ronit

]]> By: Joshhttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-5950 Josh Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:03:58 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-5950 The person above me is the one way out of line, and I'd say probably tells their kids all the time, "I remember what it's like to be a teenager." My guess is, they only remember certain parts of being a teenager. Take it from me, I'm 18 and have struggled with my parents. When you sit and nag, the only reason your kids listen to you is to get you to shut up. You get what you want and they do what you say, but you're left with zero respect in the end. Just because you get your kid to do something you want them to does NOT mean you're a good parent. A good parent, if you ask me, is reflected in the relationship between the parent and child. No, a parent isn't supposed to just be a friend, but they're not supposed to be enemies either. You can't be a good parent without ALSO being their friend. Nothing makes a teenager want to disobey and rebel more than being told what to do and not given the choice. My parents did a lot of telling me what to do, and I ended up in a very bad place because of it (that doesn't mean jail). Now, my parents have given me freedom (somewhat) and our relationship has improved, and I'VE improved. Five months ago, I was 2.500 credits short of being online for graduation. My parents let up a little, gave me some trust and freedom, and I walked with my class a week ago. What I'm telling you isn't just some ignorant teenager's BS, I'm an intelligent and mature person. I'm not saying let your kids run wild, but don't try to control every aspect of their lives or they will slip right through your fingertips. You may be proud of who your kids are, but ask yourself this question.. Are you proud of who THEY are, or are you proud of your control over them? Are they individuals, or is it just you living through your teen? Love them before they mess up, during their mess ups, and after, not just when they fix it. The person above me is the one way out of line, and I'd say probably tells their kids all the time, "I remember what it's like to be a teenager." My guess is, they only remember certain parts of being a teenager.

Take it from me, I'm 18 and have struggled with my parents.

When you sit and nag, the only reason your kids listen to you is to get you to shut up. You get what you want and they do what you say, but you're left with zero respect in the end. Just because you get your kid to do something you want them to does NOT mean you're a good parent.

A good parent, if you ask me, is reflected in the relationship between the parent and child. No, a parent isn't supposed to just be a friend, but they're not supposed to be enemies either. You can't be a good parent without ALSO being their friend.

Nothing makes a teenager want to disobey and rebel more than being told what to do and not given the choice. My parents did a lot of telling me what to do, and I ended up in a very bad place because of it (that doesn't
mean jail).

Now, my parents have given me freedom (somewhat) and our relationship has improved, and I'VE improved. Five months ago, I was 2.500 credits short of being online for graduation. My parents let up a little, gave
me some trust and freedom, and I walked with my class a week ago. What I'm telling you isn't just some ignorant teenager's BS, I'm an intelligent and mature person.

I'm not saying let your kids run wild, but don't try to control every aspect of their lives or they will slip right through your fingertips.

You may be proud of who your kids are, but ask yourself this question.. Are you proud of who THEY are, or are you proud of your control over them? Are they individuals, or is it just you living through your teen? Love them before they mess up, during their mess ups, and after, not just when they fix it.

]]> By: sandiehttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-4811 sandie Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:53:54 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-4811 don't nag, don't lecture, don't punish them, don't tell them what to do?!!! Hello, I'm their parent not their friend! It is my job to mold them into becoming a contributing member in our society! It's my job to punish them so they know what consequences are, just like in the real world called LIFE!!! Nagging, is a reminder that they haven't done what they need to get done. If they do it right away, I don't have to nag. It's like having a job when they are older. Except their boss isn't going to nag them, they'll just FIRE THEM!!! I find your advice is way out line. Kids who have discipline feel loved. Kids who have consequences learn that they need to be accountable for their actions. You guys are way off base! I have great children and I'm proud of who they are. don't nag, don't lecture, don't punish them, don't tell them what to do?!!!
Hello, I'm their parent not their friend!
It is my job to mold them into becoming a contributing member in our society! It's my job to punish them so they know what consequences are, just like in the real world called LIFE!!!
Nagging, is a reminder that they haven't done what they need to get done. If they do it right away, I don't have to nag. It's like having a job when they are older. Except their boss isn't going to nag them, they'll just FIRE THEM!!!
I find your advice is way out line. Kids who have discipline feel loved. Kids who have consequences learn that they need to be accountable for their actions.
You guys are way off base!
I have great children and I'm proud of who they are.

]]> By: 8 Best Ways to Treat Your Teens -- Family Mattershttp://www.ronitbaras.com/focus-on-the-family/parenting-family/8-worst-ways-to-treat-your-teens/#comment-3384 8 Best Ways to Treat Your Teens -- Family Matters Fri, 28 Nov 2008 12:25:29 +0000 http://www.ronitbaras.com/?p=1118#comment-3384 [...] week, I talked about the 8 worst ways to treat your teens. These were nagging, telling them what to do, punishing them, lecturing, [...] [...] week, I talked about the 8 worst ways to treat your teens. These were nagging, telling them what to do, punishing them, lecturing, [...]

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