Hi Stars,

Good to hear from you again.
How were the results of your exams?

if you want to stop thinking about school, just make a happy list and do one item from this list every day.
It is easy,

do you have such a list?
you can read about this list here:
http://www.ronitbaras.com/index.php/emotional-intelligence/personal-development-c/make-a-list-5-things-i-am-happy-about/

keep me updated.
Everything will be fine.

Happy day
Ronit

The Motivational Speaker

Hi,

yet another e-mail lol, sorry!!! I have just finished my gcse's and now i have 3 months to wait for my results. I am not sleeping well and i was shattered yesterday, so i assumed i would. I was freezing cold yesterday as i used up all my concentration in the exams. I hope they've paid off. I really want to go to college so i can have a fresh start again. But to do that i need a B in RE a B in geography a B in English literature and a B in English language. Then i need C's in the rest of them.

I'm worried sick because i really want this chance to start a fresh but i also really need to enjoy my holidays, i notice you havent been on for a whil!! i've been busy too and now i'm trying to empty my head full of all the subjects please help!!

Thanks

Stars

How did you go with your exams?

I remember that liking boys without them liking you back was very painful. But I learned from it that popular girls had something I didn't have and I needed to develop it.
If you examine all the girls around, you may find that the popular girls are not always the pretty, or the best students in school. They have confidence in themselves about something, it is essential. try it!

If that girl is avoiding you, just find new friends.

I suggest that if you feel trapped, do nothing! When we feel like that, we make silly decisions that we regret later on.

Stop talking about repeating a year and blaming your parents for everything. it will not hold for long. move forward. Instead of wasting so much energy on the divorce or repeating a year, try working on feeling good about yourself and doing things you love.
Do you have a list of the 100 things that make you happy?
if not, make a list.
Do you have a list of the 100 good things you can say about yourself?
If not, make a list.

you can share it with me if you want.
you are not bothering me at all.

How long do you have until the end of the year?
When you look back at this period, it'll be so small and meaningless.
It'll be fine.

Happy day
Ronit

All these people i used to know just ignored me when i went onto comprehensive and people keep on saying wait untill the summer. but i'll be the one board twidling me thumbs becus i dont have a life!!!i want someone my age preferably a boy to have to be able to confide in but at the moment all i have is my parents and they dont do shopping etc i've been thinking about showing one of the boys i used to know who's facebook i have and who's ignoring me the page because i feel sooooooo trapped, its not as if i dont have a nice house or anything its just after repeating a year and my parents divorcing everything seemed to go wrong!!! anyway sorry for bothering you !!

STARS

i'd also like to add that i have a friend who's popular and asked to go into town with and i said that i'd get back to her in music but i forgot so i left an e-mail and she hasnt got back, it's as if mum's putting pressure on me because she makes me ask them and gets annoyed if i dont. But i do really want to have friends, that's why i'm thinking of college because there i can make a fresh start and forget about repeating a year and make more friends and do all of the things i've wanted to do like go to south hampton shopping with a group of friends and one of my so called friends sarah weaved into my friends whilst manipulating me.

because i didnt feel very good about myself she is now more friends with them than i am when i was friends with them first. it's just that they walk home with eachother and i dont have any friends who get on my bus so i always walk home alone, they go shopping to castlepoint and i dont get invited

When i'm with the group i feel even more isolated because i dont know what to say i dont feel invited or welcomed in my presence i feel as if sarah purposely did that so she wouldnt be on her own.

i always seem to get friend things wrong, that's why next week i dont think i'm going to flute choir because i dont feel i can manage it.

Have you got any advice??

my geography teacher unfortunately hasnt marked all the work. and a C in biology basically means i passed my mock.

i have two exams next week no its three or four why are they doing so many in two weeks in the real exam mine are more spaced out than that!!!!

I am so happy to read what you wrote, it has a positive feeling to it. As if you are more optimistic.

when you study for a test, remember that improvement is the only thing you need. The only question is " how better I did this time?"

My drama teacher, who helped us with a very funny play that we really had to try hard not to laugh the whole play, taught us that if you look at your finger nails you can't laugh. He said that whenever we burst out laughing we need to look at our nails and it will immediately stop - it works, try it!
After a while I have learned that I can do the same when I need to stand in front of hundreds of people. I close my eyes and when I open them I look at my nails and it is gone. Try it!

How did you do in Geography?
What did you mean I got a C in Biology?

keep working, you'll make it.
think happy thoughts
Ronit
Kids Coaching

Thankyou very much for the advice, i have never heard of anyone else before who has repeated a year apart from me so it's good to know i'm not the only one!!!

i've just had four mocks this week and am dew for another mock tomorrow, english language pre-release and media texts. the good thing is i got a C in my biology 40/45 came top of the class- i dont know any of my other results yet!!!

i also have my flute grade four next wednesday which should be fine as long as i dont have a panicy moment because i know i'm really good at the flute!!!

i'll also be finding out my geography results tomorrow aah anyway i've got to go more work.......

thankyou for the info!!!

Stars

That means you are the genius!
I agree with you, your mom should have said that.
did you know that most people in the world, if they hear something 3 times, they think it is true ( even if it not - it has been researched) so can you imagine kids their parents tell them "you are wonderful!" " you are wonderful" "you are wonderful". can you imagine what those kids think about themselves. if you think you are wonderful - the sky is the limit.

on the other hand, imagine kids that their parents say you have problems and they say it 3 times. can you imagine how horrible kids think about themselves. If you think you are problematic - nothing you will do will make you ever feel good.

So, no, your mom should not have said it but... she probably never meant to do any damage with it. Most parents mean good.

Well done on the determination! this trait is more important in life than anything you will ever learn in school.

Can you just use a lip gloss?
for 10 years of my schooling I have never seen an A. It was something I wanted but never knew how to get there. it is not boring to get an A, people say boring when they mean - it is so hard or I am so disappointed. Nothing in life is boring, only boring thoughts. make sure you have interesting thoughts. success is great and you just need to feel the taste of it. work on it and tell yourself " I am successful, I deserve it" ( say it again and again and after a while it will be part of who you are.

My failures in grade 10 were physics, biology and chemistry and God knows why but literature ( can you believe it, me? I was writing stories and I got F in literature - it was because I had an embracing conflict with the teacher the previous year and he gave me F no matter what I did)
but, determination changed it and I said to myself the whole summer " I can do it" " I can do it" "I can do it" and you know what? I did! and they allowed me to go back to year 11 ( they kicked me out of school for 4 failures our of 7 subjects)

take a piece of chocolate before the test - preferably dark chocolate.
Fish oil is good for memory
drink plenty of water the day before ( 1 liter per 22 kg of weight)
get a good sleep and before you go to bed say to yourself " I am good, I can do it!" again and again and again until you fall asleep.
seconds before the test close your eyes and say " I am good, I can do it" and go for it!

the way the education system presents tests is very bad. Tests are not for you my dear Stars, they are for the teachers to find out if they did a good job or not!
If you fail, it means your teacher did a bad job!
If you succeed, it means your teacher did a good job!
Test do not check what people know or not, it checks if the teacher was interesting, effective, motivating... it has nothing to do with you at all.

You want to succeed for you and you need to look at the tests as a way for you, to examine a progress that's all.
Success is not getting A but getting a better score than last time!
step by step people can walk far.

when is the next exam?
Ronit
Kids Coaching
Ronit

thankyou very much, i wanted to learn the piano first and when i was about 7 i got to gripps with sight reading then i was off!! i also wanted to play the flute- so it was my idea!!!

My mum always said that i have learning problems and maybe she shouldn't have done. she also put me into disability gymnastics, which i am now in mainstreem but i couldnt really see my self as normal when with them.

i do find it hard to stick to revision but i am determined!!!

and yes i did have speach therapy when i was younger i also cant feel my lips so when they get cracked i simply dont realise but thats about the only noticable symptom apart from not getting A*'s but who would??? a bit boring!!!

i just get really worried about exams even when they're only mocks!!! because i want to pass soo much and chemistry and physics i find hard !!

anyway thankyou

stars