Know Your Partner: Appearance, Work, Money and Health

Couple sitting on some rocksWelcome to the third installment of “Know Your Partner”. In this series war are talking about questions you and your partner should discuss before you move in together, get married or have kids. These questions will help you find your partner’s “musts”. To read more about “musts”, check out Know Your Partner: Musts. In the last post in the series, we listed questions about relationships, every day life, family background and friends. This post covers questions about appearance, work, money and health.


  1. What do you most like about your appearance? Why?
  2. What do you most dislike about your appearance? Why?
  3. As a child, were you proud/ashamed of your appearance?
  4. Do you have strong preferences for a particular type of partner?
  5. How would you feel if your partner wore things you did not like?
  6. How important is it to you that you always look your best?
  7. What do you think of couples who make an effort to look good while they are still dating but stop as soon as they move in together or get married?
  8. How important is your partner’s appearance to you?
  9. What do you do to take care of your looks?
  10. Have you undergone any cosmetic procedures to maintain your look?
  11. What is your opinion on being overweight?
  12. Do you think controlling weight is important for men? Women?
  13. Is your partner’s weight important to you?
  14. What would be your reaction if your partner were to gain a lot of weight?
  15. Would you go on a weight controlling program to support your partner?
  16. How much money do you spend on your look?
  17. What do you think about looking old? Man and woman leaning one each other and staring off into the distance
  18. Do you worry about losing your look (after giving birth? From getting old?…)?
  19. How would you react to your partner losing a limb (whether through accident, sickness, etc.)?
  20. Do you believe it is important to be physically attracted to your partner?
  21. Do you think people who live together for many years are still physically attracted to each other?
  22. Has “look” ever been the reason you and previous partners broke up?

    Work and Money

  23. When was the first time you started working for money? How old were you and what were the circumstances?
  24. What do you do for a living?
  25. Are you working in your chosen field?
  26. How many hours a week do you work?
  27. What do you do at work?
  28. Do you travel for work? Two American dollar bills forming a heart shape
  29. Do you work from home?
  30. Are you self employed?
  31. Is your work dangerous?
  32. Do you like your job?
  33. What do you most like about your work/job?
  34. What do you most hate about your work/job?
  35. What would make your work perfect?
  36. If you could have all the money in the world, what would you do for a living?
  37. Has anyone ever said you were a workaholic?
  38. Have you ever been fired?
  39. Have you ever quit a job suddenly?
  40. Do you change jobs a lot?
  41. How much do you earn in a year?
  42. Do you have savings?
  43. How do you manage your money?
  44. Do you use a credit card? How?
  45. Do you have any loans?
  46. Do you have any financial commitments (debt, alimony, child support, loans…)?
  47. Do you consider your work a career or just a job?
  48. What do you spend most of your money on?
  49. Do you spend money on drinking?
  50. Do you gamble?
  51. Who handled money at your house when you were a kid?
  52. Who do you think should handle the money in your house, you or your partner?
  53. Who do you think should to pay for the movie or restaurant when you go out with your partner?
  54. When you want something but do not have the money right now, would you save up for it, or would you buy it now and pay later?
  55. Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
  56. Do you have any conflicts over money with someone in your life?
  57. Do you think married couple should have shared bank account or two separate accounts? Or both?
  58. How do you think couples should manage their finances?
  59. Who do you think should earn more money in the household? Why?
  60. Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person’s salary? A pyramid of stones being balanced. Caption reads: Work-Life Balance
  61. Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances?
  62. Do you believe in establishing a family budget?
  63. Was money ever the reason for a breakup of a previous relationship?
  64. Has someone ever tried to control you with money? How? Why?
  65. Would you consider yourself a saver or a spender?
  66. If something is broken, will you try to fix it or buy a new one?
  67. Do you usually buy the newest gadgets?
  68. Do you like expensive things or practical things?
  69. Do you care what others think about your money?
  70. What do you think about wealthy people?
  71. Do you think you are wealthy? If so, what made you wealthy? If no, why not?
  72. What fun things do you use your money for?
  73. If you had a tight budget, what would you do with pleasure activities?
  74. How much money is “enough money”?
  75. What is your retirement plan?
  76. When will you retire?
  77. What do you plan to do when you stop working?

  78. Health

  79. How would you describe the current state of your health?
  80. Were you a healthy kid?
  81. Have you ever had a serious illness?
  82. Have you ever had surgery?
  83. Do you have health insurance? Assortment of fruits and vegetables
  84. Do you have dental insurance?
  85. What do you think about healthy eating?
  86. Do you drink coffee? Tea? How many cups a day?
  87. Do you smoke? If so, how many cigarettes a day?
  88. Do you take drugs? If so, what kind? How much? When and why?
  89. Do you drink alcohol? If so, what kind, how much? When and why?
  90. Do you have any addictions?
  91. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?
  92. Have you ever been in a serious accident?
  93. Do you take medication? If so, what for?
  94. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
  95. Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?
  96. Do you see a therapist? If so, for what reason?
  97. Do you play sports or take exercise classes?
  98. Do you go to the gym? If so, how many hours a week?
  99. Who do you think is in charge of your health?
  100. Do you meditate?
  101. How many hours do you sleep a night?
  102. When you are feeling down, what do you do to pick yourself up?
  103. Do you think your physical and mental health have any impact on your relationship?
  104. Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship?
  105. Do you take any medication?
  106. Do you take any medication that might impact having a satisfying sex life? (For example, drug/alcohol addiction, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness…)?Two glasses of red wine
  107. Do you have any family history of diseases? (Hearth, cancer, mental…)
  108. Are there any genetic problems in your family history?
  109. Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

Join me next week for important questions to ask your partner if you want to be parents: education, leisure, travel and vacations, holidays and birthdays.

Till then,