Family Matters

Archive for the ‘Did You Know?’ Category

When coaching people on wealth creation, it is amazing for me every time to discover how strongly people who are not wealthy believe that this question is valid. Don’t get me wrong. I came from a simple family, where my mom and dad both worked hard, very hard, at more that one job, to provide for 5 children. When my clients discuss this, I know what they are talking about because we had such discussions around our dinner table.

People who do not have “enough” money (90% of our society) have some beliefs that support their identity as “poor”, “struggling”, “cannot have what we want”. Here are some of them:

Many people ask me about my great skin. I have heard it so many times that I am already convinced that I have great skin. I went to the shopping centre last week and stopped at a stall to get my make-up done, just for fun. The make up artist told me numerous times, “You have great skin” while she was putting creams and make-up on my face.

“What kind of moisturiser do you use?” she asked me.

When I told her it was just a simple moisturiser from the supermarket, she was very surprised.

Sometimes when I give my clients things to do at home, I find myself having this old feeling towards homework. Most of my clients are grown ups and I give them homework. It does not matter how hard I try to call it “assignments”, “thinking exercises” or “activities”, I still think of it as “homework”.

If you recall, school and I were not the best match. I was not a good student (good choice of words, Ronit!) and I never, never did my homework. I hated homework!

It was a very open discussion. Parents talked about their own experiences regarding physical touch. Most were above the age of 40. They talked about living as kids in a society that had discouraged physical expressions like hugs and kisses as soon as kids became teens. Some talked about coming from cultures where fathers shook hands with their kids. One mother said her teen did not like her hugging and kissing him, especially around others. Then, another mother, let’s call her Maggie, who was there by herself, raised her hand and asked a question:

“I understand the importance of hugs, but I find it hard to hug my daughter. What can I do?”

Surprise, surprise, but saying “Thank you!” can change your life.

Do you remember Barney singing for the children “Remember please and thank you, ’cause they’re the magic words”? Well, apparently, Barney was right. A research described by Alvaro Fernandez in his post How “Saying Thanks” Will Make You Happier, has found that gratitude can change your health and general well-being.

When I was at school, I remember always sitting at the back of the class and being one of the worst students. Only later on in life, during my Special Education studies, I learned about how kids are treated based on where they sit in the classroom.

Did you know that some seats are better than others and determine the teachers’ attitude towards the kids sitting in them? Well, I didn’t know this either and by the time I did, it was a bit too late for me to save myself all those frustrations at school.

But what I realised was that teaching the teachers about their varying attitudes based on sitting positions was missing the mark. Who do you think really needs to know this?

If you have answered “The kids”, you are right! But kids, of course, do not read blogs, so I would like to encourage you, the parent, to pass the information below to your kids and, by doing so, to allow them to take responsibility for their own learning and future success.

Most of our coaching clients ask us, “How come I keep getting all the things I don’t want to have in my life?” Oddly enough, the answer is hidden in the question. It’s all to do with … pink elephants.

Our brain is a very sophisticated machine, with its own way of interpreting the things around us. It turns out that one particular thing our brain can’t understand is negatives. Whenever we hear or use the words “no”, “not” or “don’t”, the brain simply ignores them and keeps the rest.

I go over 22 year of special education experience and can see a great inflation in ADHD. Well, it did start as ADD – Attention Deficit Disorder – and soon became ADHD with the “Hyperactive” addition.

The special education profession is still split on the existence of ADHD. Some say it is a brain malfunction, some say it is only children’s need to move a lot beyond the “normal” range. I think that no matter which approach you take, our society is sick with the labeling disease!

For many years, knowledge was considered to be the ultimate factor for success in life. Many parents and educators still pump knowledge into kids’ brains, in hope this will bring kids to the desired achievements.

While in the past knowledge was something not all people could have, nowadays it is much more accessible. Unfortunately, knowledge is not the thing that will give kids the edge to succeed.

This happens to many people. They get up one day feeling sick and tired of trying so hard and determine to change. Some of us are lucky to be really sick and are forced to listen to our body.

Sickness is our body’s way of talking to us. When we are sick, the level of poison in our body has reached a warning level. Having been very sick during childhood, I was shocked to discover when I was just 16 that my thoughts were pure poison. I had bad thoughts about myself, my abilities and my talents. I had bad thoughts about others around me and, of course, I never took any responsibility over my life. Not that I didn’t want to, but I do not think I knew what it meant.